It’s a hard space to be in for sure. The legal trouble is a natural consequence of the drinking. You mention it’s one of the hang ups you have:
Taking full responsibility often means giving up control. We addicts have a problem with control. We want everything to be our way, because that’s what we want.
What scares us about legal trouble - or any trouble: relationship trouble, liver trouble, etc - is that it’s not in our control. It scares the shit out of us because we are forced to surrender control - and that is scary as hell for people who’ve been hiding in the “safety” of addiction their whole adult lives.
The legal trouble isn’t hard because of the practical stuff like driving or income. It’s hard because you can’t control the outcome, and that scares you.
Getting sober is about moving through your life one step at a time and doing the work and the mindset and behaviour changes to grow, to stay grounded (sober) and realistic, one day at a time. Facing your legal trouble honestly and asking for help (recovery groups, rehabs; often the legal consequences are tied to actual programs to get healthy; even if they’re not there are so many good ones: Resources for our recovery or Online meeting resources) - doing that is wise in itself. You don’t know what will happen if you really take responsibility in this way. (I can promise you it will be a short term pain for a long term gain, so you should do it.) What you do know, is hiding and running and trying to “get away with things” has never worked for you, and it won’t work for you now; so it’s time to try something new.
Don’t give up and keep checking in here. One step at a time 