Newly Sober girl here

Hi everyone, my name is Cira I’m 35 and this is my first time ever dedicating myself to sobriety from alcoholism. Ending up in jail for 4 days was the end of my line. And now my husband wants to divorce. My husband drinks ALOT and I’ve asked him to be sober but he refuses. I feel like my whole world is falling apart and I can barely breathe, I cry everyday feeling hopeless! I just need some advice on how to get through these first few weeks of new sobriety. :disappointed::pray:t3:

Thank you.

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I don’t have any words of advice for you yet because i am also new to the sobriety thing. All i can say is your not alone I too am quitting because its causing relationship problems. I hope you are ok :frowning:

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The first few weeks are real hard.
I’m not saying this to discourage you. It’s your brain changing. Getting better.
It will get worse before it gets better.
Hang in there.
Advice I would give early on is probably limit interacting with your spouse. You will be on pins and needles just trying to get by. Just focus on yourself. You don’t want to say or do anything that you will later regret.
Once you have got past the early days it will get easier and you will become wiser and can manage better. Just take it one day at a time for now.
Prioritize sleep, healthy eating, exercise, and yourself.

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Thank you so much this was beyond helpful! You’re absolutely right, I need to focus on imported things right now like my mental health and physical heath. I’ve been going to the gym a few days a week and jogging outside which seems to help clear my mind when I feel overwhelmed. Thank you :heart:

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Thank you :pray:t3: I’m trying my absolute best just some days are so hard mentally, yes same for me too I countless times I have ruined a good time from my drinking. I will take it day by day.

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Don’t think of it in weeks yet, truly think of it one day at a time. You can get through today. Come check in here when you feel too badly, it’s a wealth of support. And the exercise you’ve been doing is amazing! All strength to you!! :people_hugging:

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Thank you Davina, I’m taking it day by day. :pray:t3:

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Hey @cirahumiston, welcome here! I’d suggest you surround yourself w recovery the first few months, really learn about it and immerse yourself. I spent a lot of time here and listened to a lot of podcasts and read books. Here are some Resources for our recovery. Being active and dealing w your fluctuating emotions as you’re doing is great - equally important is to engage with yourself and learn about your reasons for wanting to escape your life w alcohol. I always suggest therapy, journalling, self exploration as much as possible.

Some more inspiration: Your #1 tip for sobriety (over 2 years sober)

You’ve come to the right place. Hope to see you around!

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The best advice in early days is “one day at a time”. Forever or even for a year or a month seems to be not achievable. Just think of the the next hour or two. It will very soon become much easier. Everybody here had a first day or week. I spend every free minute reading here peoples stories and advices. Wishing you all the best - its worth the effort

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I second this dont think to far ahead as that can scare people into a relapse.
Just keep plodding along my fav saying walk before you run :sunglasses: good luck ADAAT :muscle:

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Welcome Cira,
I’m happy you found us.
I started my sober journey right here on the gratitude thread. Every single day. Eventually retrained my brain.

We have so much to be grateful for when we are sober.
Have a good read around. Join in when you’re comfortable. My wife drinks all the time. We use to be drinking buddies. It’s hard. But I did it. Got a thread for that too.

Being active on here keeps me sober.
I go to meetings now too.
Hope to see you around.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Everyone is here for you :black_heart::black_heart:

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Welcome to the community Cira. Just spend time on here and doing other recovery related things, to get into the habit of making it a way life.
Put your sobriety first above everything else or it’s not gonna work. Your husband’s journey is his own. Focus on getting yourself better, and let everything else fall into place

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Welcome. Keep going to the gym, it gets you out of the house and helps with mental stability. I’m only at 23 days drink free. The biggest issue I have is filling all the hours I spent drinking then recovering. Anything which focuses on you and keeps you out of the house if your partner isn’t going to support you is essential. I know it sounds selfish but focus on yourself, you’re the only one who can make the positive changes.

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You can do this. I struggled a lot at first myself but now I’m approaching my 11 months sober. Reach out to me if you ever need to talk. I believe in you girl :heart::hugs:

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For me I had to have a schedule. I did some sobriety work in the morning (meetings, podcasts, chapters of a book), then planned out my day so I had no empty time especially during the danger times. I leaned heavily on other people in recovery for support and comfort, so check on here a lot. I also treated myself to something (earring and books for me) with the money I was saving from not drinking (just for the first few months).

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Yep the first few weeks are pretty darn tough. For me its helpful to just look at drinking as “something i used to do” now i just dont. So at first that was avoiding friends that drank daily, and relationships that only catered to booze. I still avoid bars, not because i think ill drink at 2 plus years… just nothing for me there. Drunk folks are not funny or charming when you are sober.

If the levels are high, cosider a detox. It can get scary. But you main goal is to just cut everything out. Say yes to all the things that were lame or couldn’t involve booze. If you have a friend you only drink with and thats all they want to do… new friends time. It sounds harsh but its gotta be a total revamp.

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Nice to meet yoy and happy to hear about your story.

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Thanks for the advice Nick! To be honest sometimes that what I went to hear is the cold harsh truth, no sugar coating. :raised_hands:t3::clap:t3:

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Sure thing! It was only meant to be what works for me. Lots of people have different journeys. I just found that if your life is still around people who just want to drink you are setting yourself up for failure. I promise in the next year you will not miss them/partying etc. Its crazy how big of a world there is out there!
Congrats kn uour journey

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