Paging @RBG. Our friend here needs some advice.
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Stop because it’s ruining my life. When I’m on fap strike I cannot think clearly, I’m easy annoyed and frustrated, I have also lack of empathy whatsoever and no motivation to do anything at all.
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Hi @Gaariv welcome. I’ve been there. Good news is, it’s possible if you are committed. Couple pieces of advice just off the top:
- You’re not going to beat this on your own. All the guys I know here with partners who are working through this successfully, their partners know about it. If your girlfriend doesn’t know yet - and she may - she will know eventually.
- This is going to require commitment. @Mtrav0040’s question is relevant here. Are you trying to moderate your use? What boundaries are you looking for? If as you say you hide it out of shame, what does that signal about your feelings about it? What do you think would be the man you want to be in 3 years?
You’re in the right place brother - there is a lot to learn here. Interested to hear your response.
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Maybe one day I’ll tell her about it. I said it something like this one time to see her reaction: “Yeah, when I was younger I was addicted to fapping, but because I wanted to get over my ex which cheated on me once” - which as you may assume wasn’t completely true as I know that she cheated on me because of my addiction as I didn’t payed attention on her enough and It isn’t “was” as I’m still addicted. But I had to get over my hatred for her and grew up enough to understand this.
What do I want to do in 3 years… I want to fully enjoy my life!
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Something that helped me in early recovery was a book called Breaking the Cycle by George Collins. I wish I’d sought 12 step groups and a sponsor earlier than I did.
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Good on you for trying to better yourself! I have a public thread here, which is where I am sort of chronicling my journey. I’m 23 days sober from fapping for the first time in almost 6 years. Truthfully, in the past following the advice I was given didn’t work out for me. People failed me, and I lost motivation. You are unique, and your journey will be also. Read. Use your head and follow your heart. Try anything you think will work. Break free any way you can. This is your life. Be the boss.
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Welcome to the forum! Here’s a thread from @RBG that you may find helpful.
Sex addict in recovery after 25 years
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agree with all of the above. I’m 19 days clean with longest streak probably since puberty.
Same situation, I preferred porn to sex my girlfriend (and unfortunately still do) and that doesn’t have anything to do with her.
my advice is to never go to your middle circle (looking at hot women on Facebook, fantasizing, etc) because that is a very slippery slope
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Hey Gaariv.
First off, it’s awesome that you recognized how ‘fapping’ does not serve you in a way you ultimately want it to.
There are a couple of things I struggle with and sex, porn etc is something I’m striving to overcome. The longest ‘streak’ I had was two month and a week.
What I believe helped me was positive/beneficial activities and being around friends who also enjoyed doing the things I enjoyed. I was living an enjoyable life filled with love and fun, which allowed less time for things I didn’t want to partake in. I had three things I LOVE that I did everyday and in between I would do something I never tried that I thought would be fun or got together with a friend to see if they had any ideas.
Seems easy but I personally was unable to find balance and over thought too many things. But I’m proud of how long I was able to hold out for and have faith I will one day be able to live without masturbation, porn, etc.
Give yourself more credit than you think you deserve. The fact that you’re striving to do better is something that really counts, even if you have to reset your day count. You’re also not obligated to tell anyone anything. It’s completely up to you who you want knowing and taking apart of your journey.
I’m excited for your future!
-Christian Staley
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I hear you. Being a good man. A better man. A man you respect. Am I understanding you right?
You’ll notice every guy here has his own unique recovery practice. I notice a few common themes across them:
- Living in integrity is absolutely essential. This includes honesty, with yourself and with others, about your behaviours and your accountability. It means knowing and living your values. It will take time for you to reflect on these, clarify them, and take action to live them day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute. This takes discipline and effort.
- Take time to really understand what you’re escaping here, and how to manage those triggers, and process those emotions in healthy ways. All the guys doing this here use one or more of journaling, recovery groups, therapy, and Talking Sober. There are many powerful “in the moment” strategies they use too, like ‘and then what’, ‘play the tape’, ‘say what I see’, calling a sponsor, and others. Tap into this knowledge. It is hard won through experience.
- Recovery is not a hobby. It is a life. It’s the principles that keep you moving forward. It is the clearest life you live, free from the chains that used to hold you down. It is a life where you reach insights and have personal power you never realized you had. But it is not something you just sort of want to have.
Looking forward to walking this road with you @Gaariv. I’m happy to meet you 
@RBG @Mtrav0040 @force_of_will @KevinesKay and any other interested folks I would be interested in your opinions too, please 
- thanks!
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I’m on day 4 for nofap. Just went two weeks and relapsed accidentally frrom edging so I understand the feeling. You might want to consider withholding from actual sex as well as it seems that you’re thinking is constantly intertwined around sex. Focus on other tasks and goals. Read a bit. Spend quality time with your girlfriend like a movie. Put up your phone. Do some pushups when you feel the urge. It’s not worth it. Go for a run. Take a nap. Eat a really clean salad with fruit. SLEEP. These are your best bets man. If you have to, get rid of the device that you’re using it on
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get rid of the device that you’re using it on
I did that exact thing by switching my personal phone in for a flip phone, no data. It changed everything. I also avoid using my computer when I’m on my own (and if I have to do computer work on my own I go to the library or a coffee shop).
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Hey everybody!
Welcome @Gaariv. And congrats on the 8 days.
I can relate so much to your story. Thanks for sharing. My first masturbation was at 13, and I was instantly hooked. And I’ve used porn for most of my life.
@sca, congrats on achieving 4 days.
My 2 cents is
- Take it 1 day at a time
- Never give up
- Never crave alone
- Check in daily
- Enjoy the process
Currently at day 18, no porn, no MB.
Nice to have you among us.
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Welcome, things may seem bad now but it can get better!
This sounds to me like withdrawals and it’s something that’s very common with those of us that are addicted to porn/sex/masterbation. It will go away eventually, some within a few weeks others several months. It’s important to understand what happens in the brain and how it rewires itself during the healing process.
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11 Days!
Marry Christmas!
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Congratulations! Merry Christmas to you too
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So I’m new here what is FAP and flapping?
Hey @Natelm , welcome!
To me (hope my definition is correct, lol) is a slang term for mastrabation. Sometimes is also abbreviated simply as M, as well.
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Thanks man 
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You’re welcome; no worries 