My husband went out Sunday at 1pm and returned monday morning at 4.30. All weekend he has spent binging as is every wkend to be honest a few weeks ago after putting up with this behaviour for i would say 8yrs in total I said enough was enough ! Told him to leave he begged me I would see changes which I have not its actually worse its same cycle he then gets up each Monday and spends the day in the pub to which i get messages of plz forgive him wvery tuesday then all week then same thing at weekend ! I feel i binge drink because im unhappy and its easier to drink to block things out ive blocked out his excuses tidyed my house & today im going to look out futhering my career and maybe doing a uni course giving me some focus on life ! Long essay but just need outsiders to speak to feel so alone
Sounds familiar, though I should add I used to be the “he” in that line, not the “I”.
May sound harsh, but people don’t change by just wanting to do so… untill they finally get to a point where they are willing to give up their old patterns.
So choose for yourself in this, don’t stick to false hopes and believes he doesn’t make truth…
Just going to focus on myself from this way forward my health & mental health deserve it
Good choice. Both for yourself, and for him.
Of course I can only speak from my own experience, but personally I needed that point of almost loosing the one I loved before I finally got ready to change.
And the same goes for your husband. Whether the two of you make it, depends on hĂs willingness to change.
So yes, focus on you - without that, nothing will ever change.
Thank you for ur advice x
On day 2 My Problem is binge drinking at the weekend never would i treat my husband like that coming in early hours I know i need to change for myself and the more i try and talk about his behaviour the worse he gets so my main focus on my journey is to find the root cause of why i binge drink.
Congratulations on day 2 of sobriety keep up the good work and take it one day at a time and I would definitely express how unhappy you are to ur husband and then his actions after that will show you how he feels about the relationship
Thank you ! I have express my feelings numerous times so I guess I know how he feels and drink comes first to him thanks for your advice
Keeping the focus on yourself and your own sobriety in early days can really help you. I know I was drinking out of habit, out of not wanting to feel emotions, out of being unhappy and so much more. Finding healthier ways to occupy myself and feel my emotions (feelings don’t kill us, repressing them can!)…was really helpful to me. I know it can feel overwhelming in early days. It helped me to focus on not drinking today. Just get thru today. Walking was also helpful and sleeping as much as I could.
I am glad you are here and making positive steps.
Thank you ! Ive managed to shower today & it was nice to think about nothing Im not here to sort my husbands addiction out hes the only one that can do that ive been supporting him for over 8years Im here to help myself and as selfish as that may sound number 1 comes first
I am glad you are with us. There is a support thread for people whose loved ones are in active addiction you may be interested in reading through and joining in. I will link it for you.
Are you affected by a loved one who is an addict?
Take good care of you.
Thank you. No one for this community no one understands me and the depression with it all is getting really bad. Had a good day ignored what others are doing made some healthy breakfasts and lunches for the next few days.