After accepting the fact that I have a problem with alcohol and deciding to get sober for good, I’m starting to notice that people don’t actually perceive excessive consumption of alcohol as a problem and they also refuse to believe that someone might actually be struggling with alcoholism.
It’s fine to lie to strangers and say no to drinks cause of medical reasons, but since I don’t want to lie to my friends it stops making any sense when they’re still trying to pressure me into drinking when they’ve actually seen what it does to me.
Anyway what do you guys do in such situations? It’s not easy to just say goodbye to your fun loving friends and replace it with a new group of friends, yet it becomes clear that they won’t really provide you with any support and eventually will try to break you.
I think this here would tell me, that I have to let them go.
If not forever then right now, for now.
It’s difficult losing people when we get sober. 
For me I needed AA, a sponsor and the 12 steps. Through this I’ve learned that my problems were often tied to my unreasonable expectations. Or even reasonable ones.
Throughout the years i have been shown to focus on my role in any negative interactions. If I can focus on the me, then I am less worried about what others do. If there is a situation in which my role is that I’ve continued to engage with people who are potentially harmful to my sobriety then it is my job to leave the situation. This does not make the other person wrong, or bad. It just means I need to remove myself from the situation
Are they really friends? An actual friend would respect your decision.
My sobriety came before anything or anyone today i have hundred of friends i met in AA , early sobriety is wise to stay away from places that serve booze and if that means not going out with your friends thats the sacrifice you have to make wish you well
That’s correct! A true friend will support you no matter if you drink or not. @Nina_S stay strong and dont give up no matter what happens with them. 
I agree, I’m just having hard time dealing with the disappointment in people but I guess changes are for good.
Thanks for sharing that, I do agree that removing self from harmful situations is important, unreasonable expectations have harmed me a lot when I think of it.
Misery loves company. This is something my Mom used to tell me and it took 20+ years of drinking to realize she was right.
This is exactly what I had to do to get sober. I tried getting sober while hanging out with same crowd, it didn’t work. Over 5 years later, I’ve no regrets. I have my sober friends and a whole new friend group that actually cares about everyones well being, not just caring about having a “good time”.
It’s not easy, but becoming less of a people pleaser has helped my personal growth, and helped to let go of the people who were holding me back.
How do you feel about letting go of those people in your life?
True that, but you’d expect a bit more from people that have been part of your life for over 10 years.
Thanks for support Ray, I’m also starting to think that’s the only solution for now.
I break out my nunchucks and do this and say offer me another drink i dare yah
Lol for real congrats on your sobriety just do whats right for you. Jokes aside you will see alot of friends were just drinking buddies
Thanks Zse will keep trying 
Your mom was absolutely right and now that I look back that’s been dragging me down quite some time.
I don’t feel good about letting them go but I also have to become a less of a people pleaser, I guess if I’m as important for those friends as they are for me they’ll have to adjust to my sobriety, if not I guess I won’t have any other choice but to leave them. I definitely do not want to go back to the states I have been in the past.
Hah maybe I should carry a pair of nunchucks too 
Thanks Mike, and yeaaah it sucks to realize that some friends were just drinking buddies but it is what it is I guess 
Oh my…all my life ive thought they were called ‘numchucks’ 
We live and learn Starlight we live and learn
we do Nina we do…i feel educated
I just looked it up and official term is Nunchaku apparently now we’re even more educated
tell you what you learn something new every day lol, sorry i didnt mean to derail xx