I don’t plan on picking up but I decided to make this thred to keep me accountable be4 I pick weed up again.
I’ve been smoking weed since 13 years old
That’s going to be 20 years in October. I used it blindly and abondently and used it for every coping skill and for any reason I could ever think of. The torcher I put myself through to get it is ptsd worth. I would walk 7miles to town and back for 5$ worth at one loong point in my life. My dad has kicked me out of the car, I’ve been beat up by friends all over weed.
Now when I smoke it brings back all the bad feelings of my past and I’ve lived smoking weed in my life longer then I haven’t smoked weed in my life. If I get continuous sobriety from weed I’ll be 50 years old be4 I get get that time back
Raising my cup to you my friend! You are stronger than this addiction - an addiction that is bogged down with so many painful memories. You deserve to live a happy shame free life.
No safe feeling or magic sensation will come from picking up. Grateful that you started this thread and hope to see you posting when you feel urges.
I always say I see sings that are good for me staying sober. I always see them. Today my sign is a happy wife talking about my friends continued sobriety who is in need of a liver transplant blue to alcoholism. So today my sign was kind of made from my happy wife.
I cleaned our room and I get to chill for about 1 hour and 40min be4 work in a clean comfortable room. If I smoked this morning when I craved a little, about this time I’d feel relieved from the intense high I would feel and the room might still be crazy.
I’m craving weed a little bit be4 I go to work. I guess I’m making working all day a excuse to pick up thinking it will help the day go by but as I’m writing this I’m remembering all the other days I did that and I was completely miserable all day. So to make the day go by faster I guess staying sober is the deal. I’ll be there 9 hours. I can tred over the time Im there which is long acceptable, or I can stay in the moment and relax.
See, dreading over work is pointless. Work is just what what I’m up to today and there will be plenty to do. I’m thinking about one of the michenes I have to use and at first I was like ahhhh noo but then I realized I’m getting paid to do it. If I didn’t want to go and make money then why did I get a job. Why am I doing anything I’m doing. I’m doing it to live a normal life.
I’m not use to a normal life. I’ve collected SSI since I was 16 with part time jobs in between for 17 years. So this feeling is new and tough but I CAN DO THIS JOB. I’ve done it for 3 months I can work and I will do it great.
So in a nut shell, sobriety is key today, let alone going to work high is a very bad idea and could jeprotize my job and everything I’ve got going sence 3 months ago.
Thank you all so much for letting me process this here
Like wow I feel so much better
I go to work in 30min and start in 1 hour
Craving marijuana
I know it won’t do me any good though
I feel like it will put me in a better mood and wake me up but I know for a fact it doesn’t always do that to me. Sometimes it just gets me high and I’m still tired. That’s the worst. I hate that feeling.
I love writing on talking sober
It always helps me feel better
I don’t know why but I’m really tired today. I guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night.
Today I’m out at 7 so I’ll make up for sleep then.
Its great that writing it all out here helps you and i know your journey helps so many others.
hoping for an awesome day for you and a lovely restful evening. Keep strong my friend!
Craving weed quite a bit
I feel like it’ll help me with anxiety and also give me something to do. I guess going for a walk could do be as good without the self inflicted THC anxiety.
All in all exactly like soberguyusa said, its a very good decision for me to quit this stuff
I’m going to clean and I’ll be back soon to check in
Take care everyone
Stay strong
Me and my wifey are reminiscing about our old friend that passed from a od
Thinking of the good times
He was so close to getting sober
He was sober for a whole week also in a sober house. He smoked weed and didn’t listen for a few days then got kicked out back in his homeless closet at his friends place
He was so close but just didn’t see it.
It gets better if you just stay sober
That’s all for now
Addiction sucks
I’m having a good start to the day and my head is saying, go ahead, take a puff of pot it’ll be great. It won’t though. That’s just the addicted mind. As a matter of fact I can now feel it… the anxiety it’ll bring and if I’m having a good day, why risk that with the pot…
That’s the addicted mind though
More more and more. That’s all it wants. Just more
I feel a little better now
I hope this thred helps someone like me
Great job on fighting those urges my friend. I really see how this thread has helped you already and i’m sure its doing the same for many others. Keep strong - you are doing great!!!
I hope it helps you friend! Excellent work. Good times, bad times, the addicted part of us will twist it and make it a reason to use. Makes me glad to see you recognise its tricks. Have a great sober day!
Youre doing an amazing job and this is such a good idea to check in and keep you accountable & share your feelongs and cravings. Cravings are so challenging!!!
I think of the addictive mind loke it is a part of me that is chemically addicted to the substance, and the pther part is a part of me that used that substance to cope fpr a lpng time and learned to do it from such a young age. Its like your 13 year old self saying “hey i dont think we can handle this (anxiety, boredome, frustration, whatever feeling or situation) without getting high”…and part of my process had been trying to learn to connect with and care for that part of me that couldnt cope or didnt know how to, and show her that she can trust me abd that we can do tjis. Just on a journey to find new ways to cope that wont hurt me! Keep going youre doing the right thing xo.
