P.s. I made it past the weed craving and I’m having a excellent day
Very thankful about this
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Dude its so fucking deep Im legit on a trip right now i never thought id be on. Always thought of that part of me as a demon and disease and this view just has opened my relationship with my damn self. I had 10 yrs sobriety before (and dontbknock any of it), but never thought abput it like this till now. That 13 year old you reached for weed to cope with shit in your life that was probably over fuxking whelming to your 13 year old self. And you just did the best you could at that age, and that 13 yr old you was trying to protect you from pain and help, but didnt know what they were doing was harming you. Its just an old coping skill you learned, that wore out long ago and getting in touch with that part of me was like damn. She scared, she tired and she need someone to love and guide her. When i wanted to dribk its like that part of me being like “I got this! I can help” and instead of just fighting the urge or cravinf id sit with her and be like “look, i know you trying to help me but its not going to help okay. I know you scared/hurting/bored/want to blow shit up, etc. But you got to trust me okay. I got you, I’ll protect you and wr can do this…just let me walk us through this we CAN handle it.” Ill just say this shit did not happen over night LOL the whole concept sounded weird and also bit corny. But i worked with a therapist through this its a kind of model or type of therapy and it just gave me a whole new take. Anyway, not trying to say its right or anything just like one way to look at it. Xo.
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Damn YOU GO!! Hope you find ways to celebrate the lottle victories. Honestly i had 10 yrs before and i didjt do that. Didnt really talk about how long i was sober, or celebrate milestones except for year one and…you know what. Life is short. Celebrate yourself and what you do xo.
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Your type of view on nurturing my 13 year old self got me through the day.
Today when I wanted to go home I said to myself I got this, I got your back, stick with me I got you, your ok, your safe, I got you
And then there I was working and they day went by
Thank you for this realization
My 13 year old self felt alone, angry, scared, self conscious and very sad. I got him though. He is mine to protect 
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This made my heart feel big. Seriously. Yeh your 13 year old need that love, suppor6, guidance and safety. You can do this xo.
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Heyy everyone
Addiction or weed dependency sucks. That little voice saying go for it pick up is just really bad. When I crave I like to come on here and vent, read and maybe even support someone in need. I feel amazing when it passes. I also feel like a sign can creep up and I’ll be happy I didn’t use.
I’m just on edge today. I feel like I have a right to pick up weed. But will it help anything? I really don’t think it will. I’ve seen a quote that says disciplin makes habit makes success, I think it goes. I guess it’s my goal to quit weed. I mean I’ve been on ts for years with other accounts.
Oop just saw my sign that killed my craving
It was my wife contently watching tictoc and she started talking about black widdows that had babies and now they’re all over this person’s house.
It was her contentness that I saw. She doesn’t ever smoke her stash. She has more time off weed then I do and she still has weed. She likes it but barley touches her stash.
Why this is a sign is because when I smoke I get kinda weird and then I get self conscious which makes her feel uncomfortable.
I’m stronger without weed and better in every way above the influence
I’m glad I didn’t reset my clock
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Well done walking the line!
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So far so good
The craving ended
No relapse
Went for a quick walk in the cold rain and ate dinner, both with wifey. Drank lots of water and now resting for the last hours of my day off
I am so happy i didn’t pick up
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H9ly shit no shame youre doing such an amazing job! So proud of you and you must be too
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Heyyy @Mira_D thank you for your encouragement:)))
Your very kind for your support
I want to say I’m proud of you
Proud of your pleasant personality here
Proud of how hard you try for others
And proud you made it here
Keep coming ok
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Damn it
I picked it up again
Back to day 0
Wanted to come clean
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Thanks for being honest…it is more harmful when we try to hide.
You have the determination and motivation to not pick up …get right back to it and don’t beat yourself up over it
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I second what Jasmine said. You have a real desire to quit, you can do it.
May I ask how it happened? Perhaps that is too personal tp answer on here, but I guess when this happens for me I try to lpok at what led up to it, what made it possible and what is it i could do to almost put up a safe guard from it happening (in that way) again. Dont beat yourself up, you can do this. Xo
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It’s a desire to feel different in any way at that moment
It’s like I want to stop but eventually I want to feel it
It’s like the definition of insanity
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I get that. I want to be free of weed too and then I have a random craving. For me it boils to wanting the head change and the escape from reality. I have to remind myself- I don’t like being lazy, which I will be for days on end during a weed bender. I don’t like binging on junk food until I’m sick. I don’t like the head fog that comes with it. I don’t like that when I pick up once it’s hard for me to put it back down.
You can do it. It’s hard but anything that is worth it is hard in the start. I’ve had multiple restarts over the past few years
You can do this! I and everyone else here believe in you
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Those are good questions that I fear a little
I’m afraid if I ask my wife to tell me no you can’t smoke it could make my day very bad
Is that co depency?? I honestly am not sure. I’m not sure what co depency is but I’ve heard it isn’t good
I’m think the best I can do is put the pot in a place that it’s hard to get to so I have spare time to think. Like a obstacle
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I can relate to this so much
My least favorite symptom of being stoned is the head fog- I hate that deeply
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I feel like I’m learning how to cope. It’s taking a long time but there is progress
All I know is that I never want to feel like I did yesterday.
Today is a much better day. At this very moment I’m just happy to be where I am at.
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Day 0.49 no weed
My last experience taught me the only reason why I would like pot is because of my surroundings. If the surroundings aren’t up to standards for picking then it won’t be fun.
I’m getting older and don’t vibe well with pot anymore.
The clock is set at midnight last night
I will keep trying
Happy to be more aware today
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