I know I have a problem. I don’t know where to start. I am having trouble admitting to others and being honest with myself that I really do have a problem. I am looking for advice on where to begin. I have gone weeks at a time, then I feel good and decide I can have 1 drink, which turns into drinking the house dry. My spouse is worried, as am I. I know I don’t have control and I’m fairly good at hiding it from everyone except for my wife. I am ashamed of my problem and it creates anxiety to talk about.
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Welcome Blum! You’re in the right place. We’re here and you can talk to us.
You might also really like a recovery program, there’s a bunch. A place like this with people who’ve been there, and better, come out the other side.
I’ve found AA’s been really good for that. It felt so good to have a place I could feel more comfortable talking through it all without judgment. And for a start you can always just listen and get a feel for what they’re about.
My first meeting I remember being terrified for no reason as I stepped in. I mean, the worst case was I spent an hour listening then went home. But almost immediately all of that fell away and I knew they could help.
Cuz one thing’s for sure: Nothing changes if nothing changes!
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You have started in the right place. I have been in the same boat as you for many, many years. Countless times of stopping and starting again too. This time I found this app and the people here are super supportive and encouraging… I dont think AA would work for me due to the religious aspect. So this app has been great. Im also relatively new here but im on day 17 now and I feel a hell of alot better
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Welcome Andrew.
Have a good read around here. This place has been a great place for me to get support in my sobriety. Addiction is too tough to go it alone. We are stronger in numbers. And we are all worth it.
Here are two good threads to start:
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Welcome! Sobriety is a tough journey, but well worth it. My suggestion…start by being as active as you can here. Read, read, read…and participate.
If not drinking is truly what you are looking to…it all starts with not drinking that first drink.
We are all here to help!
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Hey Blum. Welcome!
I battled with “is this really even a problem” for years. Always feeling like others were imposing their standards on me while as far as I was concerned, I was acting totally normally!
The slap in the face I needed came in the form of an AA meeting I went to in secret. Everyone there spoke about alcohol the way I thought of it. This forum is great, it essentially does the same thing - support.
If you can accept it as a problem and realize it won’t change if you don’t, you will get there.
I’m 42 days sober. Couldn’t have done it without support around me.
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Welcome!
I feel you, I didn’t know where to start either.
I had a suspicion that I had a problem with alcohol when I was in my 20s. I was first to show, last to leave and would drink until I couldn’t drink anymore. I figured I’d grow out of it, but I didn’t.
In my 30s I started hiding it from my wife and family. It was then I knew I had a problem. But what I also had was a list of “yets”. You know, the list that we keep to measure how destructive our drinking problem has become.
My “yets” included, I haven’t been fired, yet. I haven’t gotten a DUI, yet, I haven’t been told to stop by my wife, yet.
By my mid 30s, I started checking off the list of yets, and replaced it with Buts. Yeah, I got a DUI, but it was because my blinker was broken… see where this is heading?
By 40, I checked off a bunch off the yet list. That’s when I decided to address the problem that I knew I had.
I came here 3 years ago and after a few tries, got sober and have been for 2.5 years.
So where do you start? Well, you just did… welcome!
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You’re here, which shows you’ve already started.
Now you need a plan to keep going, and here is a great place to begin that also. Read… a LOT. Take advice. Try everything. Keep what works. Keep going.
Begin.
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Don’t be ashamed, alcohol is an addictive substance, which is promoted like it’s a brilliant thing, when it isn’t.
You’ve done well by realising that there is a problem and can start on your improvement!
Close friends will understand and support you, other people, will it’s none of their business, and for all we know they could be hiding their own problem!
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