I’m so sorry to hear this Olivia 
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My condolences 
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My condolences, remember the good times and smiles together 
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Wow, I haven’t been updating my thread in ages, it seems! 
I’m currently on day 7. Yes, I relapsed with MO. I didn’t go to porn but it still wasn’t ok. My husband forgave me 
and I’ve been looking into why this happened.
Self hatred and self sabotage. I had other issues going on that I had not dealt with that day. I went in with a clear decision. I wanted the gratification. That’s scary. I don’t count relapse as a part of recovery, BUT if processed and evaluated it can be a valuable lesson. I certainly learnt things.
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You and i have talked about this. Needing the gratification, seeking a ‘release.’ knowing that the shame/guilt will come flooding in once were down. Self Hatred/Sabotage have plagued me my entire life. It’s a constant/daily battle to stay self away and communicate your needs. I’m happy that you told your hubby about your setback. I used to do that for years. But ive been hiding my issues for years which has only reinforced my self-hatred, which in turn pushes me to needing a ‘release’ which pushes me to P. The feedback loop of what we tell ourselves is killing us. And yet, i’m happy that you hit 7 days. I’ve learned to treat TS like a journal entry. I’ve journaled enough on my own and i need feedback from my fellow TS folk. You have a great day!
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1m 10d
Still here, still truckin. I got a permanent job in the store I’ve been working in as a temp for the last 18 months. Hours could be better but I can always take on extra shifts, so I’m not complaining. After a good long streak I’m having trouble sleeping again so I need to make adjustments. I hope I’ll bounce back to my regular rhythm quickly. First snow and freezing temps mean that winter is coming. It’s ok, tho, as long as it’s not horizontal sleet LOL.
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Congratulations on the job!!! Horizontal sleet = ouchy to the face!!!
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How are my fellow pmo addicts holding up?