Woo hoo! Look at you go girl!
Congratulations on 3 years! 
3 years 
That’s amazing…keep going strong 
Congratulations Olivia on your three years 
3 years huh? I remember your first year, fuck…
Got a job, got married, moved across the country
they grow up so fast
Amazing! I am so happy for you 
3y 2m 13d
I’m long due for an update LOL. Christmas is busy time at work. People stock up food and stuff. I’ve never really had Christmas decorations (not my favourite holiday) but this year I decided it was time to get some. I’m on lookout for unicorn ornaments for our Christmas tree which is still in the woods lol. I hung lights to a little thuja (eastern red cedar whatever) in our backyard.
I don’t think about my addiction much nowadays. I still come here almost daily. I’m puzzled, tho. Should I just keep living like I do and embrace a season where my addiction isn’t causing troubles? Am I too careless and setting myself up for a relapse? Am I creating problems where there aren’t any? So many rhetorical questions lol.
Otherwise, married life is nice. He does push my buttons but I’m also learning to pick my battles and let go.
That’s a beautiful tree @Olivia ! Wishing you joy and peace for the season and each day going forward. 
The family matriarch, my elderly great aunt, passed away today. She lived to see 89 years. I loved her. She was full of kindness, wisdom, care and faith in God. She based her life on prayer.
Thank you auntie. We miss you.
My condolences, Olivia. Sending many hugs across the miles. 
Ohhh that’s so sad, I’m so sorry. I’m glad you had her influence and you both had each other’s love.
I’m so sorry to hear this Olivia 
My condolences
My condolences, remember the good times and smiles together 
Wow, I haven’t been updating my thread in ages, it seems! 
I’m currently on day 7. Yes, I relapsed with MO. I didn’t go to porn but it still wasn’t ok. My husband forgave me and I’ve been looking into why this happened.
Self hatred and self sabotage. I had other issues going on that I had not dealt with that day. I went in with a clear decision. I wanted the gratification. That’s scary. I don’t count relapse as a part of recovery, BUT if processed and evaluated it can be a valuable lesson. I certainly learnt things.
You and i have talked about this. Needing the gratification, seeking a ‘release.’ knowing that the shame/guilt will come flooding in once were down. Self Hatred/Sabotage have plagued me my entire life. It’s a constant/daily battle to stay self away and communicate your needs. I’m happy that you told your hubby about your setback. I used to do that for years. But ive been hiding my issues for years which has only reinforced my self-hatred, which in turn pushes me to needing a ‘release’ which pushes me to P. The feedback loop of what we tell ourselves is killing us. And yet, i’m happy that you hit 7 days. I’ve learned to treat TS like a journal entry. I’ve journaled enough on my own and i need feedback from my fellow TS folk. You have a great day!
1m 10d
Still here, still truckin. I got a permanent job in the store I’ve been working in as a temp for the last 18 months. Hours could be better but I can always take on extra shifts, so I’m not complaining. After a good long streak I’m having trouble sleeping again so I need to make adjustments. I hope I’ll bounce back to my regular rhythm quickly. First snow and freezing temps mean that winter is coming. It’s ok, tho, as long as it’s not horizontal sleet LOL.
Congratulations on the job!!! Horizontal sleet = ouchy to the face!!!
How are my fellow pmo addicts holding up?
11M 7D
I’m sitting on a rock, watching my husband fly his drone. He is a MAJOR photography/ filming geek. He has taken me to off road places to marvel the beauty of God’s creation. I’m loving the outdoors more and more.
We’ve been married for a bit over 2 years. I was reading through my old entries on this thread, particularly from the time when we started our relationship. My single days seem like a distant dream now. I love him but our marriage hasn’t been easy. I thought he had dealt with his past internal issues before we met but I was wrong. I’m glad he is doing it now although it is a slow process. I’m sometimes engulfed in despair and fear that things will never change and that we’ll end up parting ways (we’re not there yet). I’ve fallen into the trap of trying to change him, to save him from himself. We are both getting professional help and I have an army of church grandmas praying for us.
I want to see our marriage grow stronger. I want to see our mutual faith become more vibrant. I’m most attracted to Hubby when he is standing in the word of God. I want to see us victorious in the end of our lives by the grace of God.
Sobriety-wise I don’t have much to report. Being intimate with Hubby keeps me on the straight and narrow, but as we know, it’s not a guarantee. I still need to mind myself. Since this summer, I have a desire to support others. Whether it’s in my social circle, church ministry or something sobriety related, I don’t know yet. For the first time in years, I have a yearning to give.
