Hi guys, I am back. I wanted to wait till more sober days are gone. Because I feel a bit ashamed, you, again here with all this wonderful people and didn’t want to disappoint or be the cause of frustration.
But hey, I decided to need some support to make even few sober days. I tried x times alone, couldn’t make it.
I am back to 1 bottle of wine. I went on holidays with my boyfriend and his family, well. I was drinking more than that.
He can drink and stop. I stop when I am drunken. No black outs, but bad hangovers.
Than, one morning, I had a very bad sport accident. I am sick for several weeks because of my injuries. Now I am thinking about how much this rest of alcohol or the hangover had influenced my accident.
Nobody knows the answer, but inside myself I have some doubts.
For sure I wasn’t very fit, maybe I have risked too much, maybe I have been just tired and hangovered.
Wouldn’t it have happened without drinking the evening before?
The past I cannot change unfortunately. But not only because of this accident, my drinking is too much and it is like being another person who is always buying wine.
So I am back here, happy to be here. And would like to share more my thoughts and struggles with you.
Thank you
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Still on day 2 and confident. This time I prepared myself before I started getting sober again. I have read about alcohol, especially the effects of the brain. And why I can’t keep drinking on a normal level and others do.
I think I am addict type, maybe I was born like this. A genetic preference.
When I have been young, I avoided alcohol because of that feeling. I remember, that my young me telling friends, I don’t drink because I drink wine like water.
Clever me. Unfortunately through the years this voice disappeared.
Though this has been the reason why I avoided other drugs.
Because of my accident and the pain they gave me first fentanyl and than morphin for 2 days. The first thing I did has been to tell my doctor that I don’t want morphine anymore.
After my lifetime experience of nicotine and later alcohol I really didn’t want the risk being addicted to this too!
While my transportation from one hospital to another they even gave me morphine in my hands to handle it myself. Holy shit how I felt happy and in such a good mood! So I could see and feel how dangerous this has been for me.
The 3rd day after my accident has been pretty tough without morphine,I really noticed I feel depressed and of course I had a lot of pain.
But I kept going like this.
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Hey Joyce, how are you doing today? On day 3 and still fighting? No matter how often you fail, never stop coming back. I fucked up almost a week ago, after 7 months of sobriety. How stupid is that? First I didn’t want to come on here anymore, now I’m glad I came clean and that I’m still in the forum! 
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Hi @Jesile yes, 2 sober days I made - again - I am on day 3 already. I’m fine now, thank you. I had short and havy thoughts of alcohol today. But I distracted myself and there were gone. I always fight inside while watching a movie and when people are drinking a glas of wine. Of course my reality is different. First never 1 glas. Second I drink it fast. Third I drink this whole bottle. Not only 1 glas the whole night.
How are you doing? Good that we came back 
it is the way it is.
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Thank you so much for your kind words @Lorelai
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Yep, sounds too familiar, never just a glass… I open a bottle of wine, I finish it. (I didn’t when I had my slip last week fortunately, but before that it was my minimum) Good day half a bottle, bad day up to 3 bottles in one day.
Cravings usually don’t last long, I try to keep myself busy until the craving passes.
I don’t know if you are the fitness type, but this is a nice workout thread, it’s a challenge, but the exercises are easy, it’s only 5-10 minutes per day! Feel free to join! 
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