I have now reached 30 days sober and although I’m feeling great, I’m still craving a drink as much as I was on day one. Every day that goes by seems to take me further away from the awful memories of where I was a month ago. I keep thinking that I can just have a couple and this time I’ll be in control, but deep down I know this will lead me back down the same old path. How do I keep going when these thoughts come in? I can rationally deal with these thoughts when I’m not craving, but as soon as I have a particularly strong craving I lose my rational focus and am seconds away from buying a bottle
Two things that helped me was having a list of the reasons why I wanted to quit. I bookmarked a post I made on here after a relapse. Here it is.
I wrote it myself, so it hits harder than a random list. Second, at times I would just chain join online meetings, just to keep me at home and not going to the shop.
Anything from 5 minutes to 5 hours. The thing is, I don’t always realise that I’m craving, I just think I’m thinking normally and it’s not until after I realise it was craving
Congratulations on your 30 days. It is normal to have cravings or want to fall back into old ways of being. How we approach them and act upon their arrival is the process of sobriety.
Like Misokatsu, I kept a list on my phone of why I no longer drank and what I wanted in life. It was a long list. When I felt off or iffy, I would read it. Others find that calling an AA sponsor helps them in that moment or attending an online AA meeting. I also found coming on here and reaching out or reading very helpful. Or taking a walk/hike/run/bike out in nature.
It is important to not romanticize your drinking. It isn’t somehow going to be all better. Our drinking was a problem. Learning new ways of being and reacting is part of the solution.
This reminds me of when I was in very early sobriety, and I went for a walk one Sunday. We had a beautiful trail in the forest, and I put on my Christian music and thought I was going to enjoy my Sunday morning exercise walk. All I could do as fantasize about when I would pic up again. It drove me crazy!! Here I am on a Sunday in the forest listening to my Christian music with my god. I was so frustrated it took me about 40 minutes in before I thought. I’m not listening to this music anymore. I put on some classic rock music and it just changed my whole attitude for the last 20 minutes of my walk. Like a switch. I was kicking myself because I didn’t do it earlier.
I guess what I’m saying is change things up. Do little things differently.
You can always go to a meeting spill your guts. Come here on the checkin thread and let it out there. See what others do.
Ask for help.
Just one was is never an option. I’ve never had just one before. Why would I think I could have just one now. I’ve never been a “just one” kind of guy.
First off friend… huge congratulations on 30 days!! Not easy to accomplish.
Cravings do pass but they diminsh quicker if we dont feed into them. My cravings used to last half a day at times bcuz all i was doing was thinking and focusing on drugs and playing around with those thoughts of “well it will be different this time” or “i can have 1 and stop”. You gotta put those thoughts to bed as soon as they pop. Then distract urself with an activity to get ur mind off of it like cleaning, or a shower, or exercise/walk, or a hobby. Anything really. If i sit there and not doing anything with my mind to distract myself, the craving will last awhile.
Not sure if uv done this, but writing out ur reasons why u quit helps tremendously. In the moment, when we are craving to use, our minds are not acting rational. Its hard to remember our reasons why wheb that internal battle is occuring. Reading ur reasons out loud off of paper, helps u to remember whay u quit and what consequences would happen if u drank.
Get to a meeting if u can. Jump on an online one if that is more efficient. The Intherooms app has all kinds of meetings
And of course great job on coming here Adking for help shows ur strength and determination to stay sober. You CAN get thru these cravings. They do lessen over time in intensity and frequency.
Wow, at 30 days I was still back in rehab, somewhat protected from outside cravings. I needed help and daily support for the 1st 3 months, lots of rubbing shoulders with other recovery people outside of AA mtgs. By themselves, a meeting a day wasn’t enough to keep me sober, needed more than that.
So I went on 12 step calls mainly as a witness and saw what happened to folk when they relapsed and when they sobered up, my choice was right there in front of me. Whenever I felt shaky, either I had a recent relapsers’ experience to help me make the right decision or more likely, a more experienced hand guiding me along.
Staying busy, helping in the rooms, making new sober friends and hanging with them, kept me dry sober until I could stop mourning the loss of alcohol, and learn to appreciate abstinence.
First of all congratulations of staying sober. Today is a real success because it´s a hard day.
Now that you know you’re an addict, there will always be triggers that make you crave alcohol. For example, sounds associated with drinking environments, such as the clinking of glasses or music in a bar. You find them everywhere. Or even the sight of a corkscrew in a kitchen drawer. What home doesn’t have one?
Let’s face it, escape is not possible, but the strength to resist is. By knowing your own triggers, you will remain vigilant and be less surprised by temptations. Equip yourself with tools to fight cravings and stick to your commitment: NO ALCOHOL. ODAAT.
Thank you all so much for your comments. I have already joined an online recovery programme, watch loads of YouTube videos and come on here, so hopefully this is enough. I have learnt tools such as anchoring and fast forwarding for when I have cravings, but although I’ve been told a few times to write down my why, I hadn’t done it. Seeing so many of you also suggest this, I have now written a list on my phone. Ive tried to do it in a way that will bring back the dark memories from my drinking days. I’ll read these the next time I have a really strong craving that looks like it might knock me off the wagon. Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart for your help and support
it took me about 40 minutes in before I thought. I’m not listening to this music anymore. I put on some classic rock music and it just changed my whole attitude for the last 20 minutes of my walk. Like a switch. I was kicking myself because I didn’t do it earlier.
NO ALCOHOL. ODAAT.