Had a good workout, I like this resistance band set, they are fun!
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You’re right. My cat is more important than my pride. I don’t know why I can’t get over myself sometimes. I do understand what you’re saying about your dogs. I know I’m going to be crushed when she passes. When my other cat passed, I wasn’t sober for like a week. That’s not really an option for a response anymore. I got my old lady cat the soonest appointment they had, which was Monday. I told my ex about the appointment and that I’d keep her updated. She’s really attached to the cat, so she asks about her practically every day.
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That looks like a nice set of resistance bands. I love how the resistance weight is actually printed on them. So many don’t do that.
Goggins is a good exercise partner!
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Yea that is one of the reasons I got thus set lol seem to be good quality so far too.
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@Hopeful777 glad to see u back!
Day 1
Again, another “not too bad” relapse. But less time inbetween, and I know it is a ticking time bomb.
Why “not too bad” is still bad enough
Your body does not like alcohol. U do not get a “nice buzz”, u go straight from feeling nothing, to unable to function.
What if someone comes to the house when u are drunk, like other mums or the in-laws,
how embarrassing. U live in Japan, what if there is an earthquake, ffs?
U throw up terribly. U can’t even hold down water.
For days after u feel down, anxious, and u binge eat.
Ur son gets anxious and unstable. My kids should not have to worry about me.
U lose any leg to stand on with ur husband. He will take ur purse again so u can’t meet friends.
U can’t do anything productive, like work, running, doing extra with the kids. U are on pure survival mode for a few days after. U are not living, just existing.
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Day 22, only another 3 hours left of it.
Not the easiest few days by a long shot. Had some cravings just for the sake of cravings, which were easier to distance myself from - but when a heavy workload gets saddled with stressful work dynamics, and add to it demands around Mom’s health/needs, and you have me feeling super tested, as though the world is trying to take me down…
First, I know that’s not true. But second, and more important, I made a decision, and I closed the case. To re-open the case, to take a sip and try moderation for the umpteenth time, (or to just give up sobriety altogether for a stretch) is to give it back its power over me… (@anon28001181 - thank you for putting it so well).
Not a chance. I may be tired, I may have to work long hours right now under less than ideal conditions, I may be stretched thin with some of the demands outside of work, but… I’m just getting warmed up, DOC. Yer messing with the wrong girl if you think you can lure me back…
I was telling myself all of this, but thinking “now that I’ve dealt with Mom stuff, it will be 9pm before I get back to my desk with a coffee to finish my work report. you know, I could really use a break…” and then, I think the world showed me it’s on my side too. I was cleaning my kitchen in my tiny abode when I looked up out the window, and saw the young buck. Had to go take a blurry pic even in the pouring rain.
And so I will head off to bed late, but not beat, when many of you are into your Wednesdays! May your day go easy on you. Thank you for being here!
M 
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@SoberWalker sending you and your son my best wishes - I hope his recovery is fast.
@Dragonflygirl82 i needed to read this. I need to set better boundaries too with some people and also need to stick to them.
@Jennajen I think your Mom is “losing her privileges” to spend time with you, on terms that work for you both. It’s almost like you are the parent and know what is better not only for you, but for her too! Alas, you can’t send her to her room, so for your own good, I agree it’s time to find new surroundings.
@Steak tomorrow will be Day 2. You want to be sober, and never mind the number - if you are sober today, tomorrow, moment by moment you are already there. At least, that’s how I’m taking it…
@Hopeful777 and @Misokatsu you cheered me on on my Day 1(s), and I do same for you!
@purr well done! yes, even you can be awesome. I loved reading that.
@anon60334405 maybe get a caged animal? A guinea pig or a bird or a llama might simplify your life right now…? 
@resilienttranskid good choice! i’m not a smoker, but one pal who quit said, “y’know, you never hear anyone say they regret not smoking” 
@Desire2ChangeToday you make flaws look good 
Big love to all!
M
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Take care Charlie. We are always here… come back soon! 
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So I was going to go to bed early so that I could fix my sleep schedule, but my cat was starting to be very vocal and she was squatting on some tile and there was blood, etc., so while I was going to take her to the vet on Monday, and I’d even thought I might do a walk in tomorrow, but I became nervous that something serious was going on, so I’ve been sitting outside the emergency vet office for the past two and a half hours. They now have my cat and they’re going to run a full blood panel and a urinalysis. It could just be a UTI, but because she’s 18, I’m worried it might be something worse.
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I’m praying for you and your cat @Chiron. I’ve been in your position with my dog and it’s tough. It’s just like taking a child to the hospital when they’re sick. Pets are family members and we hurt when they’re hurting. 
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So sorry for the relapse, I really feel for you. Sending you sober strength and positivity. You’ll be in my prayers. 
Blessings and sobriety!
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Thank you so much. I’ve had her for sixteen years and I’m just not ready for her to leave my life. I didn’t take it well when my other cat passed, but I know I’ll have to have more self control this time. You’re so very right. It is difficult and I’m sorry that you have experienced that too.
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Get better little kitty.
Sending good thoughts for a safe and speedy recovery.
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306 Days. I had a nice chat with my sister in law about giving my daughter wine at the party Sunday. It went better than expected. I calmly approached the subject without attacking her. (Something I would have never done in the past.) Turns out it was a misunderstanding. Last year I had given her the ok and she assumed I felt the same this year. She hasn’t been around much since I became sober and didn’t know my viewpoint has completely changed. She’s also not aware of the battle we’ve had with her brother’s (my husband) drinking. She was very apologetic and I’m happy with the results. This could have turned into a horrible family feud.
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This gets me thinking that it’s easy to get caught up in this idea of self reliance that runs through all the self help stuff, that we need to look within to find our happiness and all that. Which is true, but only to a point. Classic all or nothing thinking blinds us to the nuance there, to the human need for connection and support. The value in being part of something bigger that we both give to and receive from.
I haven’t said this for a while - this forum has taught me that reaching out and asking for help is one of the strongest things a person can do.
But before we can ask for help we have to believe we need it. And it’s not just you, that really sucks. Especially when we have spent so long building up a veneer of confidence through substances. Even though deep down we know it’s all recklessness or bravado, bringing that up to the surface and confronting it is really uncomfortable. Maybe because it makes us aware of just how much work there is to do?
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Best to get it checked out, keep us posted
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So my cat had a urinalysis and blood work, and she has a UTI. Other than that she’s very healthy on the blood work side. They gave her some subcutaneous fluids and an antibiotic shot, and recommended that she have some x-rays and a thyroid panel through her regular vet since I have an appointment on Monday.
I got her home and she seems like she feels better but also her behavior still doesn’t seem right. I’m just glad she seems to be hanging in there alright.
@AyBee Thank you for the thoughts. I appreciate them.
@Lisa07 that’s great that you had a conversation with your sister in law and that you were able to approach it in a better way than you would have in the past and that it all worked out. You’re doing so awesome.
@siand definitely need to look into it more.
@Misokatsu this is just another stepping stone. Hang in there.
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