Tired. Since I got clean I haven’t been able to sleep like I used to. I wake up every hour and a half or so and then sit awake until I can fall back asleep. Very annoying.
Nervous. I meet with my advisor today, and I am dreading it.
Emotional, got a really loving text from one of my old friends that hit me right in the feels
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Cool. New AC unit installed yesterday. The pain of writing that big check is offset by the fact that for the first time in two weeks, we didn’t feel like we were sleeping in a jungle.
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Ready. Ready to hit the weekend sober
Relieved. My meeting with my advisor went better than expected and im still sober. At least for today!
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Disappointed
Don’t focus on your bad feelings. They will break you and bring you into a relapse. And trust me : then you will feel even worse.
I know, what I’m talking about. I have to deal with bad feelings for years now. And I am sober just for 4days now. Because I relapsed every time. But I try to distract me and distract my way to think to better things.
What that might be, I can’t tell you. It’s personal stuff.
Like persons who love you. Who are interested in you. That might be family or friends. Something, you are good in and/or what you like; like your job or series and so on, and so on…
But please, don’t focus on your bad feelings. They are able and they will break you otherwise.
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Empty. Still no drugs for me but had an argument with my son last night where I lost it and said things i regret. After we both apologized to each other and i was feeling better, i found out my husband lied to me. I gave him money to pick up his anti anxiety meds…a 3 month supply. But something told me something wasnt right. When i checked the bottle later that night it only had 3 pills in it. I confronted him and he admitted he used the money to get percocet. We are both supposed to be stopping. Not just me. The lies and the reality of the other lies thru the last few years crushed me. It was a really bad day. I hate the deceit and lies. I wish he would get out of my life. I’m tired of fighting every day to keep my head above water and I feel like he is holding my head under. Wish i could just disappear. I’m tired. I’m empty. I’m defeated. But I’m sober.
I feel the same wsy. And in similar situations . But at least we are sober. It seems to be the easiest part somehow. Keep hanging in there. That’s what I do.
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Funny you say staying sober seems to be the easiest part right now. I feel exactly the same way. I wish my husband would do everyone a favor and leave for good. I’m so done. After the reality of uncovering the lies on top of lies, I dont even want to look at him. He has issues that I cannot fix. I’m fighting for my own sanity and life right now. Wish I could take my son and move elsewhere, but the house I bought in my name before we got married, the cars, everything. I pay for everything. He is jobless due to a work injury and still hasn’t collected a dime of workers comp in 6 months. So I cant just show him the curb. I feel so lost. I want out. I want my life back. I cant fo this anymore. I swear he is the devil, sometimes. And the sickest part is somehow he tries to flip the script and turn it on me. Sorry for the rant. Feel like I’m exploding from the inside out. I’m trapped and suffocating. But I keep moving forward…sober…each day…
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Footloose. It would appear the topic of conversation on a couple of threads is feet, and their relative attractiveness, or in some cases, repulsiveness.
Content … 
I swear I’m listening to my own self talk. I was supporting my spouse for an entire year all for him to end up in prison and me left out here without a job, vehicle, friends, home, family, and most importantly my kids. He too is the same way. Just take and take and give nothing back. Selfish, greedy and arrogant. My family has refused to help me. There were nights when my spouse and I slept in parking lots, or bc of my drug of choice we didn’t sleep at all. My family watched me walk away from a home I had for 5 years. Said no to staying a night, even when it was 20 degree outside. Needless to say I am alone. I don’t have a single person to fall back on but myself. I’m not sure if it is making me stronger or its gonna come at me one day and I will lose my battle. Everyone is wetting us to fail. It’s easier to give up on us than to help. I love this website. I’ve never been so honest with myself and my story. I’ve accepted that I can’t change the past, and we all must keep moving foward.
Thanks; appreciate it
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You is very welcome. I’m here to support and help as many as I can.
Keep strong.
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Humble. I have 38 days to go to get to my 90 and I want to do it so bad. I am humbled by all the kindness and help people give to each other on here. Hugs to you all. I wish the very best for each of your journeys.xxxxx
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Sick. It came on quickly last night and I hope it goes away quickly tonight!
Sore. Between running/biking/physically demanding job my body is feeling it. I declare a day of rest and movie watching!
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Blessed that I can enjoy my father’s birthday sober
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