Only 27 days sober and lost my dream job today of no fault of my own and likely anyone else's either


The funny thing is I don’t even feel like drinking…

But I surely need to vent: SORRY IT’S A LONG ONE!

I’ve worked at an amazing company, 1st of it’s kind in the USA. It’s a 3 year transition to work and greater independence program, serving young adults 18 and older on the autism spectrum or with related developmental differences. It aims to transition the students to independent living, working or college, and greater integration in the community. Our method is a combination of Transformative Movement Education, Practical Skills, Therapeutic Education and Independent Living Skills. The Residential Independent Living Skills Program helps the students develop the practical skills necessary for independence as well as the social skills necessary to create and maintain, appropriate, positive, and fulfilling relationships.

I started it’s very 1st year as a Residential Advisor teaching independent living skills. It was an evening job I worked to supplement my income from working as an instructional aid at the local school district.

I was promoted within 3 months to a Residential Lead, working M-F 10:00am - 6:30pm. So I decided since this AMAZING job lined up with my own personal beliefs and that I would be serving a greater good in this position I quit my job with the school district. I was prompted with 2 other new hires. Neither of them lasted 3 months in the Lead position. I ended up having to do 3 people’s jobs practically by myself, and I did, and I did it well. I held that position for 2 years while we went through 5 different Leads only the last of which lasted more than 3 months. We finally had a cohesive management team running and we had our 1st graduating class. I was promoted to Residential Program Assistant Manager which consisted of a transition to a salary position as well as a raise.

Over the summer while we were preparing for the next academic year upper management decided all of Residential Management needed to work 11:30pm- 8:00pm to better support our staff. This was after already promoting someone to be the lead on shift in my absence (my schedule was supposed to be 7:30am-4:30pm because I handle the majority of the administrative tasks.)

Well I have a husband an 4 kids, I can’t work until 8:00 pm every night or I’s hardly see them because my ex has them every other weekend. My co-workers do not. Although it might have been a good move for the Residential Management Team to be more available to the staff in the evenings they lost one of their most dedicated, hard working, empathetic, roll model of an employee.

I’ve only had a little while to sit with this and process this but I’m starting to feel like I was pushed out. My direct supervisor is insecure. They denied her the title of Residential Director, after promoting me. When she told me the new hours that the Residential Management Team was expected to work, I said “O.K. so how long do I have to get back to you after discussing this with my family” and she just avoided the question and said “I know how much your family means to you, the president will come in and let you know what the next steps are” That was that. He came in with all my severance package information and paperwork and last check already ready to go. I was never even given the choice to accept the new hours.

Backstory: My direct supervisor misses a ton of work “out sick” she makes it in about 35% of Mondays. I do like 85% of her job. She has been in a conflict with another equal level to her employee for over a year now and neither of them can work it out, all of upper management knows about it, it’s major drama at work. I feel like she was threatened by me and that is why I was pushed out. They didn’t present a final check to my equal co-worker who was also offered the Residential Program Manager position… she was not nearly as much as a threat because she had been with the company for much less time. I think that my supervisor pushed me out because she thought her position was in jeopardy.

So here I am, now a consperisoy theorist, jobless, 27 days sober, sitting in my new huge house just 7 months after buying it with 4 kids and a $2,600 mortgage looming over my head. I’m heartbroken. It was an amazing program I helped build from the ground up, yesterday I was there, today I’m not, and I did not do ANYTHING to deserve it.



I am so sorry. I’m glad you came here to vent and don’t feel like drinking. Maybe this is a bizarre opportunity to find something even better for yourself?


Just keep the Faith and stay strong! Shitty people out there, but not all. God Bless you and ur Family!:pray::pray:


Thanks for sharing… Im sorry youre going through this! This is something that is out of your control. You are powerless at this point. Yes, you did get screwed it sounds like. But can you do anything about it qt this point? Doesnt sound like it… So whats going to be your next step in life? A $2600 morgage bill will not wait. This position will look good on a new resume i think you should type up. Maybe see if you can get back on with the school district in the mean time? Or maybe even look further for something better? I know this sounds like a lot, but i know the longer i sat and did nothing. The more the bills piled up and heres me further from a job… I actually just left a stable job for another job, better opportunity in my eyes… so i went for it and its working out just fine. I dont know what God has lined up for you. But its going to be something great! Keep us posted and hang in there. Maybe even try for assistance in the mean time to support your family? You do have options, but a drink isnt one of them. And its great you dont want to drink! So keep on and stay strong!


With work experience like yours you will find a new job as soon as you are ready. It’s tough to find people who are dedicated like you.


I’m SO sorry to hear this. We were just talking about bad work situations the other day. I’m sitting here this evening worried about my job especially since I just doubled my mortgage payment and have added another baby to the mix.

I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. Tonight probably really sucks! It’s great to hear that your sobriety is in check. I hope tomorrow will start for you w new energy and vigor to get out there and find an opportunity that is perfect for your skill set and career goals!


Hit the 28 day mark a bout an hour ago, still sober, just doing what I do best, obsessively making spreadsheets…


I was just thinking about you. Looks like the job hunt has been going steady from the looks of that spreadsheet. Any bites?


Put this in the ‘Blessing in disguise’ category! I have no doubt you’ll find something you’ll love that fits your hours better in no time. Big, huge loss on their part! You have a beautiful perspective on life overall. Flip this negative into one of the biggest blessings of your life :hugs:


I’ve only gotten as far as listing/ prioritizing the ones I’m interested in. I still need to:

  1. File for unemployment (can’t hurt) lord knows I’ve been paying into it.

  2. Update my resume (which hasn’t been done in ages) and draft a few cover letters.

  3. Procure the “glowing recomendations” they promised me as they pushed me out.

  4. Purchase resume paper, folders, envelopes, and thank you notes.

  5. Pump myself up, low self esteem doesn’t get you a job. I’m an amazing employee, I need to practice exuding that with my body language,to be, and confidence in my voice and handshake.

Then I’ll be ready to put myself out there :laughing:

My OCD tendencies, perfectionism, and outstanding organizational skills are a big advantage of mine. Especially when the majority of my competition is either going to be much older than me or millenials.

Thank you for your encouragement!


We have a couple things in common. I also work with special needs and I love my spreadsheets lol.

From what you said it probably won’t be long before that person is asked to leave.

You have so much drive and experience with helping people in need I am sure you will have a rewarding job in no time!


You can take a lot of rest from today which you really need brother.There is no pressure of office from today.Its good to feel.Take one week break from everything then update your CV if you need try to find new one.
Good luck for your soberity.


I think we’re riding the same wave length! I’ve got generalized anxiety with perfectionism and OCD. Isn’t it crazy how well those things translate into creating really great work for our organizations?!

But it’s also a curse because it drives us crazy when everyone else is being inefficient and putting things together in a sloppy way. Stick to a format!! Lol

One thing that really helped me was to use my headshot on my resume and to put it together from a graphic art perspective. It’s still professional and contains my work skills and experience but it’s so much different than everything else the recruiters are seeing come across their desks. I’m not sure if that would translate into the non-profit world (I’m in the financial industry) but I wanted to mention it since it helped me in getting calls back so much.

It sounds like you’re really great in your field. That will come across in your interviews even if you’re feeling nervous. As hard as it can be to speak well about ourselves, the passion you have for your work will come across and you’ll be able to speak confidently about those things!


This was the headshot I used for welcome letters for new clients… feels a bit weird to put my face on my resume though.


I’m so sorry about what happened with your job. It sounds discriminatory to me and like you said, like they forced you out. You could write them a letter about all your successes there and how you feel it was unfair and came with no warning. And keep a paper trail in case you decide to fight it! Of course if that is too stressful and trigger-causing, maybe best not to go there!


I felt really weird about it at first too, seemed really full of myself. But I’m telling you it worked!

And your headshot is great! It’s professional but shows that you have a fun personality.


It’s the dimples lol


You’ve got a look in your eye that seems like you’re a lot of fun too!

Here’s a snap from my resume of the one I used.


I’ve been thinking a lot about that… part of me feels I need to do it, part of me just wants to move on. But my top priority at the moment is getting recommendation letters lol. So maybe that’s a follow up email. After I get the recommendation letter haha.


Great idea, yeah wait until you get that, lol! Maybe we should ask our resident attorney! Hey @Englishd, does the Family Medical Leave Act cover work hours, if someone is asked to work late hours that has a family? Again, so sorry this happened! It is a sorely needed profession to help Autistic kids transition into mainstream jobs, etc. I have a daughter with special needs, so this makes me even madder!! Edited: Congrats on 27 days. Next will be one month!!!