Only human

Thank you for the encouragement. It might create conflict, it’s true. But I see no other option. I’ve refused to ask for help so far, except on this app, because I didn’t want anyone to know. But I can’t do this by myself, I need help. I hate to ask for it but I have to. It’s that or dying from cirrhosis since I already have fatty liver. In any case, my mother’s very tough, she went to military school; if there’s a conflict, I’m sure she’ll win, lol. Thanks again :cherry_blossom:
I’ll keep posting here until it’s done; I’ll either be another success story or a cautionary tale. Either way, it might help someone else.

I can relate to not wanting people to know, but to quote my mom “They already know”. For me to get to the point where I wanted to quit, I’ve acted a fool enough times to be a topic of conversation for others.

For me (Day 6), I’ve learned being sober is a team sport and you need more than one player. I think it’s awesome your mom is on your side. This app has helped me a ton too.

Try a meeting? Confide in a friend or family member? Pick the same spot to go for coffee everyday and make friends with the staff?

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God, I hope they don’t already know. I retreat to my house often, hide really. The cafe idea is really good. I’ll do it once it’s safe enough for me to get my money back. That and rock climbing. I’ll do both once I manage to get myself together, by some miracle.
And congratulations to you for 6 days of sobriety! It’s an achievement and you should be proud :muscle: :tada::cherry_blossom:

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You’re only human m8. Im on my latest bid to dry out so i understand completely what you’re saying. Im at 14 days , i have to stop, im 54 and my liver/kidneys cant take it any more , i think thats the only reason this bid might be my last , the fact you keep hitting the reset button shows you that however shit you feel, something inside you wants off this mad ride that is addiction. The fact you have this app does too. Ppl like us are self destructive and its hard for us to take time out to try and be kind to ourselves, but we must, as nobody else is gonna do it.

Stay strong m8.

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You seem really communicative and honest, these traits can be valuable in recovery meetings. As I know AA / 12 steps meetings aren’t for everyone, there are hopefully also normal self help groups for addicts, or alcoholics in your area. It helps to just talk to people in person who have / had the same problem.

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49 HOURS!!! I THINK I’M GONNA MAKE IT THIS TIME!!! :partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::tada::balloon::confetti_ball::fireworks::sparkler:
I think everyone here should shun me if I fail again, which I won’t.

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That is not how we work here, so it’s not going to happen. Just take it a minute at a time.

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Thank you for that. I’ve covered my walls with sticky notes that say, "Resist!!” I’ve also put one on the door begging myself not to leave the house. I’ll do it for another minute :relieved::cherry_blossom::heavy_heart_exclamation:

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I found I could do anything for 15 seconds, even holding my breath. Cravings will pass, particularly if you can find some good sober input for your mind.

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Very true. It has to work this time. I hate feeling like a failure on top of everything else. 15 seconds, one minute, an hour, that’s what I’ll do. One more minute. It’s been 51 hours already! That’s a lot of minutes; what’s one more?

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No, they wouldn’t. We’ve all been where you are and we don’t judge ppl here.

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May i just say that i think a bit more compassion for yourself is needed here instead of this self depreciation?? I really think your mindset could do with changing…so…you are an addict struggling with addiction not some kind of monster who should be cast out if you should fail in your attempt to get sober…its not what we do here and its not what you should be doing to yourself…you cant fight a stressful situation by adding pressure so instead of telling yourself resist and piling on the pressure how about instead you treat yourself with kindness…accept that the cravings are there, ride whatever emotions they bring up with our help and stay connected here…look toward anything and everything that will comfort you and make this part of your journey easier on you, we all find it hard at the beginning…no need to make it harder :people_hugging: replace the sticky notes with some positive affirmations about yourself and give yourself a big hug from me :people_hugging: xxx

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Thank you :pray::cherry_blossom: I believe you’re right, and I’ve been told that before. The negative talk contributes to my addiction… I really hate that word.
I’ll try; I’ve already beoken my record. It’s been almost 69 hours. The most successful I’ve been was 63 hours, if I’m not mistaken.
The app really helps, especially the memes. When I want to give up I tell myself one more minute, after I finish this meme thread then I’ll give up, and then 2 hours pass and the craving goes away, albeit temporarily. But it’s getting slightly easier.
Thanks again. I know you’re all right. :heavy_heart_exclamation::cherry_blossom::cherry_blossom:

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Well, if everyone is telling you it…xx

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@Soli this is one of the hard things I had to do - change my thinking about cravings. My thoughts used to be a) I shouldn’t be having cravings and b) they were so powerful that they would overwhelm me and destroy me if I did not give in.

In fact, cravings are natural, they are the way the mind and body readjust to not having booze on board 24/7. They will not kill me. They will pass. I can look on them as crying children needing comfort and consolation, kind of like @Starlight14’s advice to be kind to yourself.

We are not monsters. We’re only human, we have a range of feelings and reactions from rage to love to fear to faith.

@Soli Hang in there, you are closing in on day 3 and I am proud of your progress.

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3 DAYS!!! :partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::partying_face:


And thank you very much for the support :cherry_blossom::heavy_heart_exclamation:

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I can’t believe this :face_holding_back_tears::smiling_face_with_tear:

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But I’m basically just white knuckling it and keeping busy. For my future self, as a reference to know the hell that this is in case I want to relapse again…

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What are you going to do today to grow your sobriety? Meetings, readings, what positive steps are you going to take?

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