Yes me too… It’s 2nd day here hoping to come over this shit …it feels terrible
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Congratulations.
Count me, too.
I am sober for 4 days now (just a couple of minutes ago).
I was about to tell people here my story in a new topic. What’ya think of?
Greetings,
Dane
Congradulations
I’m a porn addict just found this app I’ve been trying to quit for years I’m hoping this will help. Porn has been the center of my life for as long as I can remember I started probably about 4 or 5 years old. With photos and on the computer. And I haven’t stopped.
Hey Zachary,
My story isn’t similar to yours but I started watching porn in young years, too. May ask, how old you are today?
I’m 25 years old now
Hey guys, a fair number of us here identify as porn or sex addicts. Welcome to the board. Feel free to share or ask for help as you feel comfortable. Lots of amazing people around these parts.
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I’m also a porn addict. Currently 31 days.
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Porn addict since last 10 years, I used to masturbate 2-3 times daily.
But now I have controlled myself and have not done since last 7 days.
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Although Alcohol is the DOC that i am public about… sex addiction is very much a problem for me, although I have not shared that with anyone other than my best friend. And I often use it to fill the void from alcohol.
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Wow that’s really great
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I m also a porn addict , here to control myself but I relapse very often 10 days without porn and masterbation is my longest streak
Well done on admitting there is something else beyond the alcohol @Anita_Jean - you have courage for saying that and you’re not alone. I’m a sex addict myself, been battling it for years but only became aware of it as a real addictive problem 5 years ago. It is a very difficult one - I would imagine much like an eating disorder, because we face triggers daily. Sexuality and sex are such an integral part of being human, of connection, that these are not things one can simply just “put down” and walk away from - well not unless you choose to. I choose not to, which makes it a very tough road. At the core of my sex addiction is a deep fear of intimacy - a fear of being judged or rejected when I am at my most vulnerable. So I’ve used sex as a means of “feigning” genuine connection, as a substitute for people getting to know the real me. It’s hard to explain. But you’re certainly not alone!
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I never really realized that I used sex as a drug until i got sober. I also have a huge fear of intimacy and rejection. I have a complicated past that I feel is probably a huge part of the problem.
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When I was in a local recovery outpatient programme, I met and made friends with many people who were addicted to drugs and alcohol - they became my close friends and “tribe” in recovery. When I shared my life story and Step 1 with them, I was terrified of revealing all the insane things I have done while acting out. But with sweaty palms, as I continued reading what I thought was my own damning judgement, I was completely blown away by how many people began to nod and raise their hands in empathy and recognition. Turns out the majority of them used alcohol or drugs as their gateway to acting out sexually. Some of them acted out sexually in a compulsive way - when they had negative feelings they wanted to avoid. Others, in their sobriety, realised that sex was their go-to that they substituted in place of alcohol or drugs that they had just put down, but after some deep reflection, they realised a compulsion to sex or sexual behaviours was there all along during their primary addiction, they just didn’t realise it at the time…
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I know that for me, when everything else in my life feels out of control… I use sex to feel in control… if that makes sense.
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I truly believe for an intimacy disorder like sex addiction, there is always something in our past - usually when we were very young kids - that we were lacking and desperately needed. Maybe we felt abandoned, unloved, neglected, were abused (physically, emotionally, or both), but whatever the intimacy was that was either distorted or deprived from us, we then sought that out later in life. I have no doubt that is true. And it is super important to dig deep with someone else’s help to find that historical thing and acknowledge it - not as an excuse, but as an explanation and as a way of learning to accept, embrace, and (maybe, eventually) love yourself.
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Oh…I am very aware of the cause…
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It is good that you know the cause. Mine seemed kinda subtle at first until I realised it wasn’t. And it was prolonged - over many years. I try not to use what happened as a justification of what I do as an adult - especially now that I know about it, and I know I am free to choose. But when I’m stressed, when I’m sad, when I feel alone, when I feel disconnected…that’s when it’s the toughest
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