Hi everyone. I’m needing emotional support from this community today. I am 24 years old. I’ve been an addict for 2 years. I am currently 4.5 months clean off of cocaine, but have been steady on the opiods since, but the other day I watched my girlfriend overdose on fentanyl. I watched her gasp for air, I watched her face go blue, and then I watched her die. I sprung into action and grabbed my narcan kit, administered the nasal spray and called 911. I proceeded to lay her down on the floor and do chest compressions until she gasped for air again. She started breathing again. I put her on her side in case she got sick and waited for the paramedics. By the time they arrived the narcan had fully kicked in and she was awake and mildy alert. She didn’t understand what happened and I was a mess of tears. The EMT’s took her vitals and said that the narcan saved her life. I’m so happy she is alive today. We are 4 days completely sober and I’ve never felt more appreciative to be here on this earth and to have my girlfriend still by my side. I’m reaching out to anybody who has witnessed a loved one overdose and had to fight for them to stay alive. I am quite traumatized from the event and looking for emotion support. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Hello, and good morning. I’m glad you had the able mindset to administer the narcan for your girlfriend and she made it through. I’m very gratitude you and her have 4 days sober. The link below is a good thread. Check it out. I wish you a well and sober day
This could very well be the wake up call. Sometimes we have to see and experience something utterly horrific before we can turn away from it.
I am glad your girlfriend is alive. That experience sounds terrifying. I used to do opiates, I cannot remember the last time I took them because it was so long ago, so I don’t have that on my sober tracker. Never did fentanyl, just oxycodone, dilaudid, and morphine.
The key here to maintaining sobriety, is to cut any ties you might have to dealers, and start doing as many activities as you can that might not be enjoyable, but after a while of engaging in a plethora of activities, your brain will release dopamine, the feel good chemical, from just doing something sober. It might take a while, but music, either listening to it, playing an instrument, walks in nature, reading a book, lifting weights, photography, etc., will start to become enjoyable. You’ll need to break the cycle of feeling like there is nothing to do but doing substances.
You will likely feel like utterly crap from withdrawal of opiates, but hopefully this will make you feel better-- you cannot die from opiate withdrawals, even though it will be miserable…or maybe not. When I quit opiates, I had been doing 120mg of oxycodone a day. I’m not sure why I didn’t have withdrawals. I used to smoke and snort the pills. But then, I didn’t want to really do anything except more of the stuff. I was risking my life by doing opiates, only to just do more opiates.
You’ll need to make contact with other people who are trying to get clean/stay clean. It’s too easy to relapse if it’s something that your girlfriend and you have done often. Whether that is on here, or NA meetings, or both.
Also, there’s a couple things that woke me up to what I was doing to my body. One is a book, one is a movie.
The book that helped me a lot, is “cracked” by Dr Drew Pinsky.
The movie, Requiem for a Dream. Tragic movie. Not entirely accurate with portrayal of opiates in some of the scenes, but the acting is top notch. After seeing this movie, I ceased my intake of opiates. I had a couple relapses, but I realized that I had to make sure I was never around them. As someone who will always be in recovery, I know where to get any drug I want, but I have made myself hang out with those who aren’t about that lifestyle. It really is a process of helping others who are helping you and also need help. Lifting each other up, and helping those who are struggling as well. Addiction is a sinking ship, those who want to get sober are the passengers, and lifeboats are the recovery.
Sometimes thats what it takes for us to see how close to the edge we are, when we see death face to face it changes our perspective on life. Hope that your friend is able to get the help she needs to stay clean as well, if she was in your shoes im sure that would be a real eye opener. Get a solid support network reach out, dont pick up an use. Maybe try a NA meeting that might help you to strengthen your sobriety. Alot of people aren’t as lucky and dont make it out.