I like to listen to sound wave music like theta sound waves. it’s pretty helpful if you do it be aware of your breathing. in your mind say in and out while you inhale and exhale.
Do that for 20 minutes with ear buds, I feel completely at ease. It washes my worries/ pains and sorrow away. When you do this you need to believe in it. don’t tell yourself it’s silly or stupid take it seriously. Remember you don’t deserve to feel sad brother you deserve to be happy. Happiness is a choice to choose to be happy.
You drown not by falling into a river but by staying submerged in it.
Exactly I used to tell my self the same. Don’t worry things will get better but they didn’t. eventually I stopped I gave up on my self long ago. I’m human we take the the easy way its only natural.
Being your worst is easy but it’s painful and the WRONG WAY
Being your best is hard it takes a lot of effort courage and drive. Do not forget it is the hard way that is the right the path to take. As they say Nothing worth having will be is easy to get/obtain.
Still don’t know what’s going on with me. Just can’t seems to shake this feeling. Being alone, having trouble dealing with life right now. A drink won’t fix anything. I just want to be ok
Pangs of Sadness enveloped my mind from time to time during the first half of my Sobriety. Though I was with my now, wife (we were dating at the time), I thought of my ex wife and how I just fucked that shit up so bad. Drinking on the weekends, using blow (even though she never knew) and just paying attention to just IDIOTIC people rather than her and her needs.
Like what @Fargesia_murielae said though, you must accept your Sadness for what it is. I realized this after a while after reflecting on my own Sadness and grew to accept it. I wouldn’t have became Sober if everything that happened, didn’t happen. Who knows where or what situation I would be in? I was living a lie… A Fantasy World. Most of the people that I knew and still know are STILL living in that Fantasy World.
I’m not Fooling anyone now because I’m not Fooling myself, anymore and whenever that Pang of Sadness is around the corner, I remind myself that that’s not who I am any more. That part of me, died the day I decided to become Sober and Live a more Meaningful and Happier life and I make sure every day that I spread that Happiness to those around me, every day.
It’s Okay to be Sad, my Brother. We’ve all been there and are still there at times.
First off, BIG HUGS to you. Im SO sorry you are feeling so incredibly sad right now. I’ve dealt with this too from time to time (to be honest, way too often) and it is sometimes very difficult to turn oneself around. Not long ago hubby and I had a great weekend for only things to hit the fan and go from euphoria to hell in about 5 minutes Monday morning. I went to bed on cloud 9 and woke up in a dismal mood. It sucked. We are working on communicating better in hopes to avoid such high highs and low lows.
Anyway, I know its hard to pull yourself up in these times and to get to thinking of all the good and positive things that do surround you. But this feeling will pass.
And old thread, but I feel extremely sad right now. It came from nowhere and I’m aware it has to do something with numbing my feelings for years and years with alcohol and drugs. But I feel so lost and hopeless now, although I’ve had a good day so far. Day 20, an early recovery and shit like this crawls into my mind. Oh well, gotta just grind it through. I hope you all are having a better day!
We spent so many years avoiding our feelings with substances. But the feelings didn’t go away. So when we stop using those substances all those feelings come out. You have years of feelings that are going to surface at really odd times. But overtime as they get out it will happen less often. I still get it after 5 years but rarely!!
Thank you! You are absolutely right. Damn, I had such a good day and suddenly out of nowhere came sadness, fear, shame and guilt. Like you wisely said, they surfaced at really odd time. I hope tomorrow will be better day.
Coming up on 22 months sober those feelings still hit me at random times. Sometimes I will put them on paper and try to figure out where they’re coming from. Or I will redirect myself and do an activity. It’s tough early on because we could easily numb it out with booze so the feelings are are new and overwhelming. Hope it passes quickly for ya.
Thank you! Writing them down sounds like a good idea, thanks. And yeah, staying active truly helps. I already did a long run today plus a walk to the groceries, reading etc. but suddenly out of nowhere boom and here we go…
And congrats for being sober 22 months, that’s so awesome!
Hey, It really does come out of nowhere sometimes as others have said. And it happens when you least expect it. I still get the sadness and guilt waves. 11 months in. They were worse in the beginning because I didn’t know why they were happening. And then (again like someone said here) I was told that these feelings were always there. I was just not dealing with them. Bottling them up and numbing them instead of actually sitting with them and feeling. It’s an uncomfortable thing to do especially when I, for a long time, refused to deal with my feelings. But it is a necessary thing to do…just so that I can exist in the world as reasonably happy as I can be.
Thank you so much for your soothing words. I’m glad to hear I’m not alone. And yeah, you’re absolutely spot on, I’ve been numbing my feelings sooooo long, so no wonder they are now breaking into the surface. One day at a time.
And another day when I’m sad as f. I’ve been crying a lot and worrying about my past when I did many mistakes when being drunk or high. I miss my kids (they live with their mother and I’ve been too messed up to meet them) and I’ve realized I can’t never get back the time I’ve lost. I’m so sad and angry at the same time. Fuck, it would be so easy to buy vodka or get some weed or pills to numb these feelings, but I don’t ever wanna be drunk or high again. Sorry about this rant. Gotta just grind it through, one day at a time.
It is not an easy thing getting rid of addictions and habits that were woven so tightly to ourselves. It can feel like ripping a chunk of you apart. It will be painful, it will show you aspects of yourself that you have not seen in a long time, it will make you sad and anxious and guilty. But all the work you are doing is because you want to feel joy again. And you will. I promise you, you will feel joy again. Just keep doing what you are doing. One moment at a time.
But also remember, the past is in the past. You cannot change it. You can live today in a way that you do not repeat what you did, and make your future better.
Don’t give up @MrMoustache. You will feel joy again.
Thank you so much, my friend! I needed that support, so kind of you. And yes, although my sober journey is at the start, I’ve seen glimpses of that joy I need in my life. Indeed, past is past, but like you said, it’s hard to let go. Addict’s brain. Thanks again! One day at a time.
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