Thanks! Things get better in time but learning how to work through and process those feelings is key. Like they say gotta feel the feels!
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Hey, It really does come out of nowhere sometimes as others have said. And it happens when you least expect it. I still get the sadness and guilt waves. 11 months in. They were worse in the beginning because I didn’t know why they were happening. And then (again like someone said here) I was told that these feelings were always there. I was just not dealing with them. Bottling them up and numbing them instead of actually sitting with them and feeling. It’s an uncomfortable thing to do especially when I, for a long time, refused to deal with my feelings. But it is a necessary thing to do…just so that I can exist in the world as reasonably happy as I can be.
Hang in there buddy. You are not alone. x
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Thank you so much for your soothing words. I’m glad to hear I’m not alone. And yeah, you’re absolutely spot on, I’ve been numbing my feelings sooooo long, so no wonder they are now breaking into the surface. One day at a time.
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And another day when I’m sad as f. I’ve been crying a lot and worrying about my past when I did many mistakes when being drunk or high. I miss my kids (they live with their mother and I’ve been too messed up to meet them) and I’ve realized I can’t never get back the time I’ve lost. I’m so sad and angry at the same time. Fuck, it would be so easy to buy vodka or get some weed or pills to numb these feelings, but I don’t ever wanna be drunk or high again. Sorry about this rant. Gotta just grind it through, one day at a time.
20 days ago you said this…
It is not an easy thing getting rid of addictions and habits that were woven so tightly to ourselves. It can feel like ripping a chunk of you apart. It will be painful, it will show you aspects of yourself that you have not seen in a long time, it will make you sad and anxious and guilty. But all the work you are doing is because you want to feel joy again. And you will. I promise you, you will feel joy again. Just keep doing what you are doing. One moment at a time.
But also remember, the past is in the past. You cannot change it. You can live today in a way that you do not repeat what you did, and make your future better.
Don’t give up @MrMoustache. You will feel joy again.
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Thank you so much, my friend! I needed that support, so kind of you. And yes, although my sober journey is at the start, I’ve seen glimpses of that joy I need in my life. Indeed, past is past, but like you said, it’s hard to let go. Addict’s brain. Thanks again! One day at a time.
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