Hi everyone. I am new on here, on my third day ( for the hundredth time!)
Feeling positive after reading all your great posts, but am really worried that I will cave in when I am on holiday at the end of July. I have spoilt my success so many times before when surrounded by ‘normal’ drinkers. Any tips advice how to get through. I am going on holiday with my husband and he still drinks😟
3 Likes
this also killed my months-long sobriety a number of times with my ex-partner. we would go on holiday and he would pressure me to drink with him because he didn’t like to drink alone. i would people-please him everyday of our relationship so i’d cave. made me so sad 
would love to read what words of encouragement you get and i wish you the best on your holiday 
1 Like
Try to think about how refreshing it’ll be to wake up without a hangover.
1 Like
My husband drinks as well. We also go on holiday every now and again. I put together this list of threads on partners who drink, hopefully you will find some inspiration in it. Also, searching on holiday or vacation will also get you some good threads and tips.
I know it feels daunting, but being sober on holiday with your drinking husband IS do able. You just need to be really clear on NOT drinking no matter what. And be open to taking a walk or a nap instead of drinking. Best to have some conversations with your husband beforehand so he knows you are serious.
Here is the list of threads…
5 Likes
Hi Vicky, welcome!
Holidays can be tough as they are fraught with temptation, if we allow it. Temptation is all around us, everyday, but we use will power to resist while we acquire the tools to peacefully abstain without depriving ourselves of our basic needs.
Your Holiday is still several weeks out and while it’s good that you are thinking about it the way you are, the energy stressing about it could be better spent acquiring and strengthening those tools that will help you abstain.
So for now, my advice would be to get to day 4 and go from there. In the meantime, read stories here, continue to ask questions. But for practical advice, figure out what your go to non-alcoholic drink will be. Mine is club soda with a splash of cranberry juice. 
Welcome to the family.
3 Likes
Welcome and congrats on three days!!! I’m pretty sure I did day three about a million times 
It’s all just part of it I guess and so are holidays.
I’m on day 35 and still trying to figure it all out, but every time I failed I knew I was close or at least getting closer, and I knew that because at the very least I was still trying. Every fail was a chance to recognize what triggered me, a chance to learn, and a chance to change what I was doing. I’ve heard this a thousand times but it’s so true, insanity is doing the same exact thing over and over and expecting a different result. I just examined what I did, what worked, what didn’t, and came up with a new plan to modify my old plan.
I did a sober holiday in April. First one ever! My husband drank one night, and we had friends drinking almost every night. Just did another sober holiday for a wedding the last four days. My first sober wedding! I had a non alcoholic drink in hand constantly. I had an exit strategy in case I needed it. I communicated everything with my husband, despite if I thought he was listening or not hahaha! I brought a lot of sober reading material for the hotel. I had podcasts on the ready for quiet moments to myself. And I was on this forum constantly. The search function is an incredibly useful tool.
Good luck!! YOU GOT THIS
1 Like
@Dejavu soda water with cranberry is my jam too! Toss a lime on the rim and no one even asks what I’m drinking. If I find a place that has grapefruit juice though… oh forget it. Soda water and grapefruit is it… that’s a wrap!
1 Like
Hi @Vicky1971 I guess, that your partner is drinking also now, today, while you started being sober. Today is the day which counts. Take each day, step by step.
I find it amazing that you stopped drinking now!
1 Like
Thanks so much for your encouragement, everyone. It feels so amazing to know there are people out there who understand!
7 Likes
I am going on holiday in three weeks with my wife. She still drinks very moderately. So this will be a very big test for my sobriety. I am also a bit nervous how this will work out, but i am confident that i will stay strong
2 Likes
I am too going on holiday 28th July which will happen to be my 2 month anniversary of soberity. Im hoping hitting the 2 month mark will help me keep them cravings at bay
1 Like
I had my first sober holiday last summer. Went to the south of France and I was thinking how am I going to manage without wine…?! Actually, it was brilliant. I had no hangovers, no blackouts, no stupid arguments, no embarrassing myself in front of the locals (except for my shocking attempts to speak French 
) - these were all standard on every other holiday I’ve been on. I hired a car so we did more than just get the train to the next town to sit in a bar.
I sat on the balcony while the sun came up, we went walking in the morning before it got too hot. I hired a car so we did awesome stuff that we wouldn’t have been able to get to otherwise. Found a gorgeous lake surrounded by trees to swim in. Did some watersports. Went shopping for delicious food and went to nice restaurants. Didn’t spend nearly as much even though we did way more.
While I was away I read Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind and I checked in here regularly to remind myself of why I wasn’t drinking.
Where are you going on your holiday?
3 Likes
can’t even count how many of my holidays included this. ugh! your holiday sounds so exciting and fun! what a difference sober travel can make 
3 Likes
Don’t worry! You got this!
1 Like
Thank you for the encouragement. I am going to Zante . My 16 year old daughter and her friend are coming with us so determined not to embarrass them! Have just been googling bike hire and horse riding as alternatives to sitting in bars . I am sure it will be lovely to enjoy the early mornings instead of waking up with a hangover each day .
3 Likes
Zante sounds lovely! Have you been before?
Good shout getting some ideas of things to do. I found having a pretty packed itinerary for the first few days helped me get into the swing of the sober holiday.
It absolutely is! That’s a great thought to hang on to.
Hi @Vicky1971. It’s not easy being out of your element and wanting to cut loose on vacation. My advice, like some others have mentioned above, would be to find your NA drink of choice and take it with you ( like, pack it in your suitcase!). I love NA beer but can rarely find it anywhere! Why don’t more establishments cater to us? I’ve been bitchin about that for a couple years now, but back to my point…I found an awesome NA margarita drink online that got me through last July 4th sober. Do some research, find what you like, be strong, and enjoy that vacation. I guarantee you that you will remember more and have more energy to do things😂 Keep us posted!