Your heartache sounds serious and by all means, talk to the man, if he loves you he’ll listen and value your feelings.
Yet how exactly is drinking helping in this situation or has anything to do with it really? If you want to get sober you have to put the work in. Understand this is your job, husband and alonetime notwithstanding, and no one else’s. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, separate the alcohol from the husband issue and get to work.
Start engaging here, read recovery literature, watch some YouTube docs on what alc does to your body. Check out meetings f2f or online on intherooms.com
Here’s a list of resources I find pretty helpful: Resources for our recovery
Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser
The biggest advice I can give you is to: Build a life you don’t need to escape from. you’ve already identified what it is you drink at. It’s loneliness and rejection. This problem will have to be remidied for you to live a more fulfilled life. But the solution will certainly not come to you drunk or from a bottle. Sober you have a chance to make changes. You’re just keeping yourself trapped where you are and where it hurts by staying a drunk.
Best of luck to you!