Have you tried any in-person or Zoom group meetings as of yet?
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No, I mean lust. I don’t personally like the term “trigger” because I find it is too mechanical. To me, the word “trigger” sounds like “if you pull the trigger, then this happens”. It removes the conscious and emotional experience. It focuses entirely on the mechanical process. Lust is a much more multifaceted, profound psychological system.
I’m interested to hear about what you discover on your journey 
Please keep us posted.
All of us should perhaps have weekly meetings.
I can set up the zoom calls. Would anyone be interested.
We can leave cameras off for those that are uncomfortable. We can just share ideas and strategies.
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I’d be cool with an open discussion type TS zoom call
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I’d be up for that
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Yes, thank you. I first started viewing in the 4th grade also. Ruined my recepters. Thank you for sharing.
Sounds good thank you. I’ll try and set something up soon.
Thanks Matt, I will try and set something up soon.
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Maybe I mean the same thing usign term “trigger”. English is not my native language, I always heard this term when people describe things that provide to relapses. But anyway, I also consider it as something more sophisticated - it starts in brain, in subconscious mind, because I could touch myself normally during taking shower and it leads to nothing bad, and I could be completely dressed and bad thought could hit me almost out of the blue.
As of what causes problem in my case:
- low self esteem (although now it’s much better, but still have some insecurities)
- stress (there was alcohol problem in my home)
- too much isolation (I’m rather introverted, so I’ve never had many friends, crushes, relationships, generally poor social life)
- I’m in my early 30’, so I’ve been exposed to porn for several years. Observing women in these videos caused subconscious changes in behavior, even “M” looks different. I’m hetero, but I mirrored womens’ poses during M. From videos I remember them happy, free, self-confident and unconsciously I tried to recreate this state by MO, but sometimes by simply being without clothes. It’s like I’m vain, like I don’t have nothing more valuable as a person - only my body.
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I’ve never attended such things. I’m not very good at searching such things. I’ve had a few coaching sessions in the past, but we worked about other problems.
Yes, those are triggers that you’ve recognized for yourself. For me, lust can be a trigger at times but lusting and fantasizing is the problem and what gets the ball rolling long before PMO takes place.
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Here is a link to choose and attend an SA Zoom meeting, if that’s more to your liking, based on what you were saying about being an introvert>>>
There’s atleast a minimum of one meeting an hour and they’re from all around the world.
Next, you can locate an in-person meeting, hopefully near you, by using this resource>>>
I hope these help. Give them a try and let us know.
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Thank you very much - that’s very helpful! Especially that second link, because I’ve found site in my language. They have meetings in my city.
For now meetings seem to be too much for me - I’m too afraid of being recognized by some coworker or neighbor…
But they have a lot of useful info on site, so I will read the materials.
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I’m glad that it helps and that you’ve found meetings in your city to attend at some point.
All SA meetings are closed that I’ve attended. Confidentiality and privacy is of the upmost importance of any 12 step program.
It’s okay, my sponsor’s neighbor is in the program too and my sponsor helped lead his neighbor to the fellowship. I dont think there’s anything to be ashamed of with that. If anything, to me, it shows me that others struggle just as much as me with lust/pmo and at the end of the day are human.
Isolation is yet another trick our addict brain uses to justify to us the need not to seek help from others in this thing that we battle. The more isolated we are, the more prone to relapse or so thats been my personal experience. Maybe try the Zoom meetings in your area first then go from there.
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Sounds a lot like me. The casualness and “freedom” I thought I felt. It was a lie but it completely persuaded me, it controlled me (often by surprise). I try to take it day by day now and focus on my SA program.
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How about a zoom meeting next Friday December 20th at 12pm (noon) EST? Thanks
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I’m in 
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I thought about it and decided to contact with community in my country. For now it’s ok to meet someone from work/neighbor - well, I’m here, you are here, so the situation is clear.
But I’m concerned what are the rules for such situations:
I plan to study next year. What if someone from meetings I attend, would be also my teacher or examiner? What if I will meet person from meeting during job interview?
I mean, we both keep it secret, but you know, because we know each other it complicates situation. For example in some businesses in my country it’s not allowed to sell stuff to your acquaintance.
My city is quite big, but teoretically there is a chance to meet somewhere else.
Excellent, that’s awesome! Very proud of you.
Rules in what way? Just come as you are. Just take it all in and go with no expectations and be yourself. I can get how it maybe a little unnerving at first. But to be in a space with people that suffer like you do was one of the biggest and most impactful things for me. Again, I suggest you attend a Zoom first and that way you get a sense of the rooms and the flow of how meetings go.
I live in a small town. I mean like relatively 2500 people and youd think everyone knows everybody, pretty much or are familiar with the names and faces of others. With that, the 12 step recoveey programs here still have a lot of people in attendance. Once you get the mindset that you’re there for you and your recovery specifically and that others are there for the same thing, everything changes. You realize that you arent the only one struggling with your issues. Ive seen some memes and commenfs from sponsors to say " get over yourself" meanjng that the problem/addiction is bigger than just you, you just need to step outside of yourself. Also, think about the people there that could benefit from meeting you and hearing your story and vice versa. Think about this… now that you know theres a community there, everytime you dont go, you could be doing yourself a disservice from hearing someone else share that can have a positive affect on you.
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I should be able to make that work
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