We have also given marriage counselling a lot of thought recently. Haven’t officially been yet, but it’s been coming up a lot more and more. From me nonetheless.
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Let him know he must make the next ones, but you share half and let him have half.
You can eat all his but then I don’t think that will solve anything other than him feeling what you felt like.
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He made a big batch while I was at work today 
Can’t wait till supper!
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Love the reciprocation
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I love that too. Happy for you 
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I can say this: I have never regretted seeing a marriage counsellor. Even at times when we have had to borrow a bit of money to pay bills while also seeing the counsellor. The investment of time and energy is always worth it to me. (Also, the cost of seeing a counsellor is minuscule compared to the cost - both financial and emotional - of a divorce, so in a case where the marriage is workable and the partners have mutual respect, I think it’s always worth it for me. I don’t mean to sound unromantic but sometimes I think I just need to be practical. I love my wife and she makes me laugh and we have fun, but also sometimes I just look at things really pragmatically.)
There have been times when the idea to see a counsellor has come from me, and times when it has come from her. That hasn’t really mattered that much to us. Sometimes I have made the appointment and then brought it up with her. If she is adamantly opposed I can always cancel the appointment, but she has never been opposed.
Some counsellors are truly excellent, with unique insight, and some are pretty good. In my experience (for us) the fact that we are working together to strengthen our marriage is what matters, not the specific focus of the counsellor.
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Thank you Matt.
Very nice to hear from your experience.
We have never ever been to one but I brought it up a couple of weeks ago.
We just seem more and more distant and I felt like I had to say something.
She took it well and said yes we should.
Now we just have to book one.
I was very open and communicated all my feelings a couple of weeks back.
Something that caused stress and I believe led to my relapse.
Day 15 clean today.
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I have found that the counselling we have done has been more effective at times when I was also working on a sobriety program. At first this was a sex addiction recovery clinic using group therapy books written by Patrick Carnes, and now it is SA.
It is true that counselling will engage with some fruitful emotion work. It is also intense at times. My sobriety work has helped me create space for the relationship work.
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I agree that sobriety does allow us to better handle anything. The cleaner we are, the more in charge we are of ourselves and our emotions.
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Hi guys @Philipwithonel @sober26 @Olivia i won’t be able to make it today to the Zoom we discussed last week; I have an appointment at 12:30
Alrighty, good luck at the appt @Matt
I’ll be around if you guys are still wanting to do the meeting today.
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Thanks Matt hoping your appt all goes well. Thanks
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Thanks Phil, I have an errand to run before then.
I’m not sure if I’ll be back in time but I will try.
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Cool, cool. If we have to go on a hiatus this week that’s fine too.
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Actually let’s postpone this week. It’s going to be hard for me to actually participate in the meeting and talk. I’m around my kids right now.
Let’s pull the plug this week and come in again next week.
I may have some time around 4:30pm EST if that works for you too?
During the holidays it’s a little more difficult for me to attend because of family and I’m not on my regular routine.
I am thinking of hitting up a SA meeting online where I don’t need to talk and can just listen in.
I’m 17 days today. Going strong.
Congrats on your 90 days! That’s amazing.
What has worked for you this run?
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No doubt, that’s understandable regrading the kids and family. We can just wait until next week.
I’ll be on the road and heading to the airport around that timeframe anyway.
Sweet, yeah man… I attended two in-person NA meetings and one Celebrate Recovery meeting the past few days. They were really a big help.
Yessir, 17 days and counting! A Zoom meeting would be a great idea.
Thanks, it’s taken a lot to even get to this point. It’s still a bit surreal.
The things that have worked for me have been trusting in my HP first and foremost, relying on this community and the meetings I attend for support and ESH, and a hunger to never revert back to the person I was before.
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That’s amazing thanks for sharing.
Believing in a HP has also worked well for me.
It does truly help.
Congrats again on your 90 days.
Here is to another 90 days.
My best ever was 270 days.
I always think of that as 9 months.
The amount of time it takes to have a baby.
I always tell myself that I should be able to restrain for 9 months because that is what nature at least intended.
Hoping to get back there soon.
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Thanks again.
Most definitely, that’s been a major part of my success so far.
I like the sounds of that. You’re on your way to a 90 as well. We can all do this recovery thing together.
Wow, thats insane. I can’t even fathom that # right now. ODAAT until we can attain that.
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You are working the right steps this time.
Just continue on that path. If you can do 90 days, then carry those same routines and habits forward.
You will still experience stress. There will be days or things that happen where you will want to go back to that dopamine fix, but when you don’t, you will become stronger and better at handling those urges.
That’s how I felt when I was climbing up to my 270 days.
I remember I got to a point where I just felt very clean and as if I never ever was addicted.
It just felt so pure and innocent like.
It’s hard to describe it, but I felt clean and like a child again.
Also my brain felt so focused and concentrated. It felt like I had a clear vision of everything and there was no anxiety at all.
Hoping I get back there again.
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I haven’t felt this way in 22 years. A clean conscience? You kidding me? I Haven’t felt that in decades. I’m in my 40s, i haven’t had a 100% clean conscience since i was 18 years old. That’s what I’m fighting for.
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