Congratulations on one year of sobriety! What you’ve accomplished is truly inspiring. It takes strength, resilience, and commitment to make it this far.
Keep going, one day at a time, and be extremely proud of yourself.
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Learn from this. Every relapse can teach us a lesson if we pay close attention to what we can do to avoid it next time it comes calling again.
Keep going.
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Day 1 Sober from Porn, Masturbation, Dating Apps, Phone Sexting, Fantasy, Sexting, Social Media
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Day 2 sober from Porn, Masturbation, Phone Sexting, Sexting, Dating App, Social Media and all other forms
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Day 3 sober from Porn, Masturbation, Phone Sexting, Sexting, Dating App, Social Media and all other forms
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Welcome back!
I believe @KevinesKay uses covenant eyes.
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Yep. I still do. for several years now. Took me a long time before I decided to pay money and get it. $17 a month isn’t really that much. All the free stuff wasn’t working. Now I won’t use a device without it.
Day 5 sober from Masturbation.
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The whole point of CE is to involve other men to observe your reports. I cannot find a significant benefit when using it alone.
Day 6 sober from Masturbation.
Now you’re touching on a significant part of my journey called Connection.
For a long time, I identified my problem as sex and porn addiction. It took a move of God to make me realize that my behavior of PMO was not the real problem. Nor should I approach it as such. He needed me to be aware that my behavior was simply a manifestation, a symptom, of deeper rooted problems within me. And until I identified and addressed all of these root problems within me, they were going to continue to subconsciously work against me, undermining and sabotaging my conscious efforts to stop the behavior.
Thus, my PMO was not the real problem and I had to stop viewing it as the problem. If that was the problem, I would have stopped long ago. People on TS have witnessed me relapse over and over again since I’ve been here for 10 years. God was using those relapses as teaching moments to force me to keep searching within.
One such problem is my problem of Connection. (The opposite of addiction is connection 
)
I define connection as men in my life, that know me, and are looking out for my personal and spiritual growth. Despite the fact that I was very comfortable with being a loner and I wasn’t much of a people person, I had to accept that I still need people. Until I addressed this need and refined my connection with others, I was putting myself at a serious disadvantage. Currently, I have 2 weekly zoom meetings along with an in person meeting on Fridays. If I can’t make one, I have the other 2 to fall back on. I no longer ignore this major root problem of mine. Many of my allies that I use along with Covenant Eyes are from these connections.
I’m two days away from 23 months of sobriety. This is not an easy journey, albeit worth it in every way. It’s definitely not been a perfect journey either. There have been many, many days I’ve been sober by luck, not due to the work I’ve put in. Often, if I’m not feeling tempted or triggered I don’t put in much effort, and the longer that goes on the more I lose my armor.
I can’t say for certain why I play with fire like this, but I’d say it’s at least a little to do with my continued resentment for my addiction. I have a tendency to have stinkin’ thinkin’ about having to work so hard on something that I feel I’m a victim of.
Honestly, there are many blessings hidden within the work that must be done to maintain sobriety. In the past I did a daily gratitude journal entry and that really helped me see the blessings that came from the work. I can’t tell you the last time I did a gratitude entry, but I know that’s something I need to start doing again. It majorly helped me pull out of my victim mindset and change my perspective. 23 months is nothing to sneeze at. There’s a whole lot to be grateful for after that many months of sobriety.
If I pull back from the work and take it for granted I could lose so much: my marriage, my home, my pets, my extended family, my job, friendships… the list goes on. Acting out, giving in to my addiction is not worth losing even one of those things, much less all of it.
So I’m back. Luckily I have a spouse who watches out for me. Luckily she sees the value in our life together even when I take it for granted. Luckily she’s brave enough to say the hard stuff to me, and early enough before I throw it all away. The life I lead in sobriety is worth the hard work, even on the many, many days I simply don’t feel like doing it. And honestly, each and everyone of those days work will help me maintain my armor. Keep parts of it on, and the rest of it nearby. Always polished, oiled, and clean. By doing the work daily, I’ll always know exactly where all of the armor is, I won’t have to go searching for it in moments of struggle- looking for my shield and sword when it’s most needed.
I’m so very grateful for this app and the group of folks who use it. It is such a an awesome privilege to have something that can literally save lives at my fingertips.
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Day 11 sober from masturbation.
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Very inspiring brother. I’d be thrilled to be atop the mountain you’re on. Just… wow. Congratulations.
Day 14 sober from masturbation.
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Hell yes congratulations!
Day 16 sober from masturbation.
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Day 17 sober from masturbation..
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Day 18 sober from masturbation..
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Congrats!!