Porn "Rock Bottom" Led Me Here

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I’ve always struggled with porn. Deep down I’ve known for a while now that I have a problem with it, but never took it seriously since pretty much everything out there thats anti-porn is either religion based or some weird psuedo-science. I’ve tried to take breaks before, but honestly I don’t think I’ve gone more than a day or two without porn since I first started at a younger age.

One of my favorite things to do is browse anonymous message boards, looking for images of people I know. There’s a weird, voyeuristic pleasure from this, and i feel like im getting away with something i shouldn’t. Id every once in awhile see someone that I knew on there, but it didn’t come full circle for me until I saw one of my exes on there. At first, I was excited until i read the comments. How derogatory they were was sickening, they found her socials and solicited/threatened her until she deleted all of her socials. I’ve never felt more disgusted and ashamed with my habit, even though i never contributed, i was still a participant in this and gave the page more views/exposure.

I’m writing this here because I don’t think I’d feel comfortable sharing this experience with anyone I know, and I want to be able to recall upon this for accountability. Im hoping to become independent from pornography viewing. Aside from this, im fairly positive its affected some of my previous relationships as well subliminally. I tend to lose interest in my partners after ~6 months, and i think porn has a big thing to do with that. This seems like a great community, not sure how active I’ll be going forward, but I hope to look back on May 4th as the day I quit pornography.

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You’re not alone, Dylan. Welcome!

I can relate to those feelings. I sincerely hope that this is the first day of the rest of your life.

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Well, I’ve been struggling with PMO for a while and I now how are you feeling. And as the guy above say’s, you are not alone.

This might be complicated at the beginning, and sometimes, you might feel terrible about yourself. In my case, I’m on day two and this is so much difficult than I ever thought, but this will be worty.

I wish you all the best, And I hope the next time you post something here, it would be about your progress and the good things that will be happen in your life now!

Greetings from México :sparkles:

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Welcome Dylan. You are not alone; I faced many of the same patterns and problems. Ultimately I joined a sex addiction recovery program at a clinic in my city - after years of “acting out” with porn, I realized I had to do everything in my power, everything, to make it stop. It was a significant moment and since then I’ve learned a lot about the psychological / emotional / social causes and solutions.

There’s a lot of good resources. Here’s a few:

Don’t give up and never stop searching for connection and support to get what you need. One day at a time. It is a learning process; porn is currently a crutch for you and you’ll need to figure out what it is, and find a healthier replacement. This is emotional work and you will benefit from support where you can find it :innocent:

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