I’ve always struggled with porn. Deep down I’ve known for a while now that I have a problem with it, but never took it seriously since pretty much everything out there thats anti-porn is either religion based or some weird psuedo-science. I’ve tried to take breaks before, but honestly I don’t think I’ve gone more than a day or two without porn since I first started at a younger age.
One of my favorite things to do is browse anonymous message boards, looking for images of people I know. There’s a weird, voyeuristic pleasure from this, and i feel like im getting away with something i shouldn’t. Id every once in awhile see someone that I knew on there, but it didn’t come full circle for me until I saw one of my exes on there. At first, I was excited until i read the comments. How derogatory they were was sickening, they found her socials and solicited/threatened her until she deleted all of her socials. I’ve never felt more disgusted and ashamed with my habit, even though i never contributed, i was still a participant in this and gave the page more views/exposure.
I’m writing this here because I don’t think I’d feel comfortable sharing this experience with anyone I know, and I want to be able to recall upon this for accountability. Im hoping to become independent from pornography viewing. Aside from this, im fairly positive its affected some of my previous relationships as well subliminally. I tend to lose interest in my partners after ~6 months, and i think porn has a big thing to do with that. This seems like a great community, not sure how active I’ll be going forward, but I hope to look back on May 4th as the day I quit pornography.