Staying sober in the scene, shows at clubs and festivals. Support, motivation and meetups. The rule of life is the rule of the pit. If you see someone down help them up.
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Hi @Miral welcome 
Punk or hardcore arenāt my genres personally but thereās a bunch of people here who like them - this thread has some straight edge and hardcore fans for example Straight edge/Hardcore thread - and if you search āpunkā in the search bar (tap the magnifying glass icon) youāll find lots of posts.
Welcome to Talking Sober! 
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Staying sober in the scene, shows at clubs and festivals. Support, motivation and meetups. The rule of life is the rule of the pit. If you see someone down help them up.
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Thank you so much! Iām new here and still trying to learn the ropes of this community. I appreciate your help and suggestions!
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Hey great to see more people into hardcore/punk trying to get sober! I really Miss the scene, used to play in bands and organize gigs. Than I moved to another country and in my region there is not a punk to be found. I guess it has helped for my sobriety but I miss the family feeling of this world wide community. Currently Iām big time struggling with loneliness, building social life is hard where i am. My social life used to be the diy scene basically. Anyway good luck on your sobriety journey!
By the way there is a straight edge thread on this forum as well, to share sxe bands and music, find it using the search bar
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I totally hear you on the loneliness. I used to live in Fort Collins, Colorado. They have a great scene there. I miss it. I moved back to North Dakota to take care of my mom. There is small scene in Fargo but thatās a six hour drive from me. I have bipolar and have also been battling depression. I really started drinking hard. If I can make it through today it will be one week sober. I leave for Colorado in eleven days to catch two nights of the Teenage Bottlerocket tour. Iām scared of falling back into my old ways. I have sober friends in the scene there. I plan on hitting them up. Then in May itās off to Las Vegas for Punk Rock Bowling. Thatās going to be the hard one. I know they have sober meet ups and hangs, I plan on doing that. These will be major achievements for me if I can keep it going. Iām traveling a lot for shows and festivals this year. I just have to take it day by day. Thanks jumping in this thread! Iāve checked out the straight edge group. I do still smoke cigarettes. So I didnāt know if it was right for me.
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Great, you made it to one week sober already!
Obviously festivals and concerts are tough because itās typically places where everyone drinks. Especially if you are with people you know, offering rounds, itās hard to not join. People might be weird or unpleasant about you being different all of a sudden. They might even feel judged. So yeah, you have to be strong in those situations. If you notice itās too hard and you really want to prioritise sobriety, itās best to avoid gigs for a while, until youāre more used to your new way.
I have to say, whenever I do go to gigs now (i usually have to travel like 4 hours) I experience them different than before. I notice that a big part of going to the gig was basically just to get wasted. I also notice that I always thought everyone was as wasted as me but now that Iām there sober I realize that actually the big majority of the crowd is ādrinking responsiblyā, meaning yes they drink some beers but they are not going out of control. Not like me, bringing in my own cans of beer and even drinking half filled glasses that i would find standing aroundā¦
Iām curious how your experience will be. And great to read that there are actually sober spaces created on that festival. Mental health awareness is growing i have the feeling.
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Itās going to be hard. I leave for vacation in ten days. Iām preparing myself mentally, Iāve already reached out to my sober friends who are going to the same shows that I am. Iām getting a support crew assembled. My friends that do drink have reached out to tell me they are proud and happy for me. I know they support my decision. The scene has changed a lot. Sober safe spaces are a thing now. Sober meetups and outings before the show to get in a good headspace.
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That is so cool to read. I havenāt heard about that happening here in Europe yet. But like i said Iām quite out of it atm.
Great you are reaching out to people and that they already are supportive. You might even get some people to become sober-curious in the process.
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The day I announced I was getting sober one of my best friends contacted me. He said he read my post. We were kinda codependent with our drinking. Trying to justify that what we were doing was okay because we had stable jobs, paid our bills and generally good people. He said after he read what I wrote he was done drinking. The next day he checked himself into a 28 day stay in rehab. Iām super of us. I have someone I love on the same timeline as I am. We can hold each other accountable and be there for each other.
Wow, how cool! Sounds like you both are set up for success. May it be a great journey of change, health, love and learning! Iāll be happy to read about your progress, even if this comes with difficult moments. Itās part of it. But with all the support you have it will help you pull through.
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Iām very excited and nervous, I havenāt been to a show since October. That was a four day festival and I really overdid it. I havenāt been to a show sober in over 24 years. Always pre partied before the show and then hit the after party. Itās going to be very different this time. I plan on meeting up with everyone before the show for a meal. Just water and tea for me. Iām fine with those who do decide to have drinks. I just have to take care of myself and focus on my goals. Iām there to have fun and see friends. It will be cool actually remembering the night.
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Going to shows was hard for me at first. But eventually I kind of reconnected with the music and letting that be the main focus rather than needing to he under the influence of something to have a good time. Welcome to the community! This place is so awesome and full of support and advice 
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Dude i remember my first show sober and the fact i could remember the whole night was so exciting!
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Thank you. I really like it here, itās a great community. This year is filled with concerts and festivals. I actually bought the craft beer tasting package for one festival. It was all you can drink for three hours. I think I will get my commemorative glass and call it good. It will be a souvenir that I chose to get clean instead of binge drink for three hours.
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I love that! Its triggering for some people to do things like that, but i personally like the idea of taking this nasty heavy painful thing in your life, attaching it to an item and then viewing it is a positive reminder. When I stopped drinking i kept a seal bottole of one of my favroite drinks. I put it up way high on a shelf. I had it for the entire 1st year of my sobriety and then i took it to a dumpster area and I said āYou no longer control me. You mean nothing to me. I release what no longer serves meā and then i agressively smashed that shit into a wall and shattered it (yes i put gloves on and picked up the glass lol)
But to me it goes to show how powerful changing your perspective can be instead of just avoiding it and being afraid of its presence.
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It will be my reminder that I chose life.
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Remembering the night, having no hangover. Those two things alone are already worth it! I think going to do a pre-diner instead of pre-drinking is great. I also have no problem being with people who are drinking, although i do notice how annoying they can become. I remember that from the past when i stayed sober because i was the driver to the show (remembering this reminds me that even though i was a heavy drinker, i was very much against drinking and driving, something that changed when i moved countries. At some point i started drinking and driving a lot too, one of the reasons i realized i had to quit). Hopefully people will not be pushy, trying to talk you into drinking ājust oneā. But from my experience, this happened way less than i thought it would. Maybe i was projecting my own foolish behaviour onto others. I feel ashamed to admit that I could get upset about people not drinking, friends choosing to go straight edge. Thinking about this makes me realize Iāve changed a lot.
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Indeed, being sober at the show allows you to focus way better on the music, appreciate how the band plays. Your overall presense of mind allows for a way more complete experience, including a more accurate assessment of the general atmosphere in the room. And than remembering it all 
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Last night was my first show sober in over a decade. It came at the end of a very long day of travel. I walked past every bar in the airport to find coffee! I was well caffeinated by the time I reached my destination. While I was eating a friend messaged me. He told me to be at a little shop at 3pm. So I hurried to finish eating and set out walking. When I got there I was surprised. Teenage Bottlerocket was playing. They were filming their new music video. There were maybe 10 others present in this tiny boutique store besides the camera crew. They played hard and fast, it was killer! I was able to get my own videos of behind the scenes. It all happened so fast, I enjoyed every second. Later in the night I was to meet up with friends for the main show. I got there early so I decided to grab some dinner. I went to my favorite bar. They were about to pour me my regular drink and I had to stop them. I got a Liquid Death sparkling water instead. Nobody questioned or pressured me on my choice. The rest of the night went the same way. My friends all had drinks but I was just having waters. I really enjoyed the show and I can remember everything that happened last night. Itās definitely a different feeling being sober at a show. I noticed the people around me power drinking to the point they really shouldnāt have been served anymore. I remember looking at a younger guy who was sitting on a curb outside. He looked sick from drinking. I remember those days, I was so glad I wasnāt in that situation. Overall the scene is changing, more options for non drinkers. I have two more nights of shows planned and Iām feeling confident now that I got that first one under my belt. Things have changed for the better. Looking forward to the future.
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