As many have already stated it is apart of life. You just need to find how to balance it. If I woke up in a crappy mood for no reason I would journal my thought at that moment and then try to do something productive to keep myself from doing something I would regret. Then when I was feeling better and if I felt those feelings needed to be addressed I would work on it with my Therapist. I always made sure I would keep myself busy and my mind occupied with helpful things. We’ve destroyed our bodies with chemical and substances for so long that it takes sometime for everything to go back to its new normal. Are we ever really normal…lol I asked myself that a lot. Being sober has been one of my greatest accomplishments and after so long and lots of therapy I realized I needed to be easier on myself. I was doing the best I could for my situation and wether or not it was good for anyone else I didn’t care because it is my journey and no-one else’s. Please be easy on yourself you’re getting through this the best way you can. Have a blessed day 
Thank you all 
See I remember this happening the first time… once that veil is gone you’re just left with your pure self. I dont mind feeling emotions when theres a reason behind them. It’s just the persistent “bad” moods that come out of nowhere and have no cause, if I had a reason to feel sad then fine, but I dont, not really. (Or do I!? 
)
I do put a lot of pressure on myself, I had a realisation of this a little while ago. I’m the only one who makes my “standards”, I dont have anything to prove to anyone but I’m always on edge feeling some sort of (imaginary) expectation and that things have to be “right” and I NEED/HAVE to do xyz or I’m not good enough. The only person who thinks that though is me 
so I do need to ease off on the pressure… trying to make everything right and just so means I end up exhausted then I fall apart trying to be perfect 
Least I can see things for how they are then slowly work on them. Its frustrating though when I know I’m doing everything that I should be and not feeling the benefit…
My friend suggested I listen to some biaural beats earlier as she said they help her, I did so and do feel better although quite tired. They made me cry for some reason I’m not sure its supposed to do that 
but I feel better for it so theres that.
I firmly believe our emotions need to he expressed and those of us who supressed our emotions thru substance abuse have lots that we need to let go. Those times you feel sad, angry, off for no reason? It is an old emotion looking for release.
Let them out thru the binaural beats listening (love to listen to them at night as I fall asleep), journal, movement, tears, whatever works.
Wow I never thought of it like that.
Thanks sassy 
There’s good and bad in feeling this way. The good is you self-motivate to grow and become more than who you are today. The bad is when you can’t recognize the progress you’ve made to this point.
Very true.
Funnily enough that’s what started the tears off earlier( sorry I’m cringing that I’m even sharing that…) I was meditating (well, to the best of my ability, I’m still not very good at it) whilst listening the biaural beats and got this image of myself when I was younger and felt so much compassion for myself, it wasnt pity (although could have been mistaken for it) just a sense of love and compassion and a kinda ‘awwww’ in the way you’d look at/feel towards a child. Then it sort of fast forwarded to where I am now.
The difference between now and then is stark and I’ve done all of it on my own, and theres more good stuff to come I’m sure.
Something else I was pondering on actually. I really let my emotions rule my life. Like what I was talking about when starting this post I wake up, feel bad and that sets the tone for the whole day. Dont get me wrong I still get stuff done, I dont retreat into bed for the day or anything but it really affects my day and it’s like a cloud hanging over me that i cant run away from.
I hear people say things like “if you want to be happy then BE happy!” “You control your emotions” but how? My emotions totally take over, I know they’re part of me and I do try to let them flow through me and not pay much attention but they really get hold and take over everything some days.
But then I guess it’s like what sassy was saying, they might be old emotions that are trying to get out so I can move forward. I became very good at bottling them up, pushing forward and just keeping going. I feel and felt pathetic for even feeling and was always trying to be strong, I’m well known for being the “strong one” and I suppose wanted to keep that status, would never ask for help etc… well it came back and bit me on the A$$ didnt it 
What was and is most reaffirmimg for me in sobriety is that after rain comes sunshine. And probably rain again.
I cannot add much to was was so well written above.
When I was still heavily drinking my mood was mostly down, depressed, suicidal, no way out. My mind was running in circles and I found no way out. Now, I see and sometimes even feel that there is a way to change that. Often my moods swing, I am not willing to try antidepressants, but I can handle that better now. I know that tomorrow will be different. Most probably.
Slow progress. But progress into a good direction. Where I want to go, I am not sure but I am very sure that I don’t wanna go back.
I study and practice stoicism. It has helped me immensely throughout my adult life, never more so than when I quit drinking.
@Yoda-Stevie, I absolutely love how you explain things so well, amigo. It’s easier now to process things, control how I think, talk, act around others, when I’m happy, sad and mad. It used to scare me when I knew how capable I truly am. I’ve glady come to accept my capability now and it’s pretty liberating.
I just blame my period.
That can make you pretty crappy
This has been a really interesting topic for me as I have always had this up and down emotional situation in my head and rarely had a balanced emotional state of mind. Stopping Alcohol gave me a break from anxiety, some time, and a chance to look into it more deeply. For me the problem has been my association with thoughts and thinking, I have always been convinced that I am my thoughts. As your emotions basically come from thoughts at a given time, if you allow yourself to be fully immersed in your thoughts and thinking and bounce around erraticly like thoughts do, you will follow the same irregular pattern emotionally with good days and bad days. I have spent some time now learning about how to detach form my thoughts, look at them, acknowledge them but understand that they are only thoughts made up in your head and not actually who I am. This shift in thinking has really made a fundamental change in my mental well being and brought about a more balanced emotional state each day. It’s my experience that if you look beyond your thoughts and rest there from time to time, you will find a calmer happier and more contented you. Hope you all have a great AF day.
Thank you for that, I had some CBT last year and this is what I was taught but I’ve not been putting it into practice as much as I should be (clearly)
I get lost in my thoughts far too easily and often think I’ve just got too much time one my hands to think, but even so, when I am doing stuff it’s almost like auto pilot and I’m not really present, I’m always lost in a thought, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I need to he more mindful.
See when I was a kid, as punishment I’d get locked in my room for a month at a time (a whole month, which wasnt so bad if it was in school time so at least I had school to go to but if it was during the holidays it was brutal) , no tv, toys or books and I just had to lie in bed. I was allowed out for meals and the toilet but then just went back to bed and all I had was thoughts to keep me entertained so I think that’s where its come from as I remember becoming really anxious around that age (9) but again, I CAN control them to an extent I just forget I can and fall back into the pattern of getting carried away with them which I need to stop.
But thankfully today is a good day! I feel fine today, quite happy and content… I think tiredness plays a huge part in it all too.
Are you under medical care for the use of sertraline? That’s a long term antidepressant and should not be used on self-assessment.
Yeah it would be prescribed by my GP after a consultation. I wouldnt just go out and buy it… not even sure if you can do that.
I’ve been prescribed it before and was on it for a year. Looking back I should have stayed on 50mg, I was on 150mg but it was causing more issues than it was initially prescribed to help with so i had it in my head I wanted off it, looking back I was fine on the 50mg.
When I stopped drinking I went all out on the healthy lifestyle stuff and felt amazing… Until I didn’t. I left it about three months of feeling awful before going to the GP. I feel like my drinking had masked a lot of mental health stuff and I just couldn’t see an end to it.
I was prescribed Sertraline and also had issues when upping the dose (stayed on it far too long in retrospect, the beauty of hindsight!). Took a few months off and went back to my GP because I was still feeling awful and got prescribed Venlafaxine (SNRI). So far its really helped although it is early days so we’ll see. Basically I’m glad I went back to the GP.
Something that helps me, and I’m sure the medication makes it easier to do this, is to let go of being too critical of myself. E.g. it’s not wrong to get lost in thought, it’s human. If you are noticing that you are getting lost in thought, that’s mindfulness! It’s a real skill and one that goes against years of conditioning. There’s a reason it’s called mindfulness practice! (Borrowed from Yoga With Adrienne, talking about yoga obvs but the same applies.) However accomplished at anything we become, there will always be an opportunity to do more, or do it better.
We can only start from where we are, and make decisions based on the information that’s available to us. One of the most helpful things I’ve learned over the last couple of years is that its OK to wait for things to become clearer.
Try and be kind to yourself! 
There was as much work to do in my mental health as there was getting sober. I’d absolutely burnt away how to function like a normal person. I was all of a sudden a 14 year old boy in a 32 year old body. Years of development drank and drugged away. Meditation, spirituality and a lot of journalling and self love has gotmy head on an even keel. Although I can still think I’m 14 
Embrace it. It’s as fun figuring out exactly who you are and what you like as it is waking up with a fresh head and no regrets. The whole thing is the journey. Not just putting down the drugs or drink.
That is a GREAT analogy, wow. Totally agree. 
Thank you for sharing that. Stay well all !! 
Yeah that’s exactly how it feels, now the mask is off (alcohol) my real mental state is plain to see because it’s not being clouded by anything. The more I think about it I guess that’s why I would go on binges because some days (the good days) I didnt feel like drinking at all, I was trying to medicate those feelings away on a bad day and I didnt even see it, it was like an automatic reaction to feeling bad.
But saying that, I did drink when I felt good too, but mostly the alone-at-home drinking was when I felt crap and wanted to change how I felt… but in the long run all its done is add to the problems and taken away any chance I had at growing/getting better.
I want to get better and be a better more whole person and I’ll work on it however long it takes.
I have to ride it out and take each day as it comes, and like you said, be kind to myself along the way.
For me a big part of being better has been learning to meet myself where I am at. I can get so caught up in trying to fix everything I often lose sight of the actual problem and/ or amplify the problem out of all proportion. Realising that rest and letting go are actually ‘doing something’ has been a game changer!
You might be interested in this 10 day radical compassion challenge. Started yesterday but due to timezones the day 2 stuff won’t be released til later anyway.
Of course if it’s not for you right now then that’s cool too
Oh thanks! I’ll have a look