I had the first sober / not hungover still drunk conversation with my wife for as long as i can remember.
And it was horrible. No wonder i drink. Oops i mean drank. This is day 15 sober.
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Hi guys. Still off the booze.
I have been getting these romancing the drink feelings again todayā¦ eg
āOnce i have this under controlā¦ once i have lost weight and am fit and healthyā¦ one booze up every few weeks is like any normal responsible drinkerā¦ i think i will do thatā¦ when i have got rid of my beer belly and im fitā¦ i will maybe have a drinkā¦ cause i will have it under controlā¦ā
Horrible thoughtsā¦ because its not THAT bad. It feels like its possible. It really doesā¦ i keep thinking maybe i CAN be a responsible drinker maybe i can do it?
But i just tell myselfā¦ nopeā¦ i cantā¦ because one beer is never enough. And therein lies my problem.
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Welcome @Quitter, Iām glad you are here with us! Those thoughts, they are the sneaky whisperings of our addiction. They have been so prevalent with me during my early sobriety. Once you have a little more time, it starts to whisper more and more - āsee, you donāt have a problem. Whatās one drink?ā Just like you said - one is too many, 100 is never enough!
I have to āthink through the drinkā over, and over, and over, and over. Iāll have that wineā¦sure! That one glass turns into one bottle, into two bottles, into blackout drinking and thatās all she wrote!
Keep checking in here with all of us. We are on this journey with you. I thank you for sharing because your posts help me to stay sober too! 
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Haha. You beat me to it again @Forged. You just about said everything I was going to say about the First Meeting.
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Hi @Quitter. Forged pretty much nailed it on tips for your first meeting. Have you gone?? My advice is just go and listen. Have an open mind and look for similarities, not differences.
I was a wreck my first meeting. TheN as I listened, I began to hear my story coming from multiple people all over the room. Not the exact details of course, but the emotions. The lonelyness. The loss. The helplessness. The isolation. I heard all of these things I was feeling. So I kept listening.
These people actually understood EVERYTHING I was feeling. Like really understood. And here I thought no one could possibly understand me because I was such a special kind of drunk. Lol. But they did because they had been there.
And hereās the kicker, they knew how to help!! At that first meeting a now close friend of mine shook my hand and said a phrase that has really stuck with me these last 125 days. He said āyou know, you donāt have to drink today Gabe. No matter what happens, you donāt have to drinkā
That really caught my attention for some reason. It just said it all to me. It really Dummed down what I thought of as impossible. I Have to breath to survive. I Have to eat and drink water to survive. But I donāt HAVE to drink alcohol.
AA saved my life and my marriage pal. And it all started with that first meeting. I hope you check it out. And Iām proud of how far you have already come!
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Your story and your thread here has saved me this evening. I just wanted to thank you for sharing
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Hi everyone still sober. I nearly cracked today though. Got into a row with the misses. Today i find her to be the most irritating person i have ever had the misfortune of meeting. At least thats my mindset today. I am rationalising these thoughts by blaming withdrawl.
I think it must be the withdrawl. I just feel easily irritated today. It has not been a good day. I mean in the car my kids were arguing in the back and i just turned around and yelled SHUT UP!!! In their facesā¦ I just couldnt take it anymore. Now i feel disgusted at myself.
I thought quitting booze was to make me a better person now my relationships with my loved ones feel like they are dangling by a thread.
I have a very uneasy feeling in my stomach. Anger. Irritability. I just feel pissed off at everyone. I dont know how much longer i can take this i just want to go fuck off for a while. I wish i could. I just want to be left alone. By everyone.
I feel cut off from emotion. Feel like i dont give a shit about anyone. Its just horrible.
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7 days is great! Just be thankful that everyone is safe! I recently got my second DUI so I hit my rock bottom as well. Stay strong and keep coming on this app, the support community is amazing on here!
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Oh keep hanging in there! You were drinking for a long time and every time I start over I feel worse and worse. Addiction takes a heavy toll on your body and getting sober is the hardest thing ever. Just keep staying strong and give it more time, it does get better.
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Glad youāre getting sober - I hit rock bottom a few times and noticed as I get older my body canāt handle the alcohol as well - blackouts etc. - I only have 5 dayside sober today but am finding the recovery and AA community very friendly and supportive- youāre not alone 
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Thatās Great Barb!!!
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Just a small update. Still going strong. My mindset has improved a great deal since my last update.
I feel more normal. I still think about boozing every day though.
The weird thing isā¦ i can snuff the feelings of wanting to drink TODAY by telling myselfā¦ āyeahā¦ i will have a drink in a few weeks timeā¦ā For some reason this takes the anxiety away from thinking OMG i am never going to drink again??
I convince myself that i will drink at some random point in the futureā¦ but just not TODAY.
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Time for some philosophy.
Premise: Alcohol is an addictive drug.
Premise: Human beings can get addicted to addictive drugs.
Therefore it is normal to be an alcoholic.
Whatās my point I hear you ask?
I have no fucking clue! Wellā¦ actually; now that i think about itā¦ I guess I am feeling more comfortable calling myself a dirty wee alco.
Afterallā¦ iād technically be a freak of nature if I WASNT addicted to alcohol with all the booze IVE drank! Damn!
Yes. I am happy. I am normal. Iām an alcoholic.
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Thanks @Quitter I can relate to these thoughts as well. I made it to day 5 . And I can say that I honesty have thought about alcohol for the entire 5 days. I feel like a wackoā:joy:
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Lolā¦I just pictured itāŗ
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One day at a time has quickly added up to 21 days sober.
Two weeks ago today i discovered this app/forum. I think i was in the middle of a crazed craving sessionā¦ i opened up google play store and sloppily punched in the word āsoberā with my big fat sweaty fingersā¦ then hit āsearch.ā
I was just looking for some type of app to count my daysā¦ give me inspiration etcā¦ but this forum has blown away all expectations. It has helped me sssooooo much. So i thank you all for contributing and helping me.
You havent just helped me, rather, you have helped my whole family. My 6 year old daughter you have helped, my 5 year old son you helpedā¦ my 4 year old daughter you have helpedā¦ and finally my 2 year old baby boy you have helped. They all have their dad back. And i am determinded to keep it that way.
Oh yeah and you have helped my wonderful wife too. I dont know how she has put up with me i really dont.
That all being said. I have found the last two days dare i say āeasyā. Completely different to the last 19. Dont know what happened. I feel like i have turned a corner. But this app has certainly been a factor.
I just hope i can help someone out there just the same as i have been helped.
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Hi @Quitter, just read through all your threads. A huge well done on your sobriety to date. Iām at 14 days sober and am taking inspiration from you and everyone else on here. Well done!
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Awesome decision,and great job on 7days!!!Stay connected,you are not alone!!8)
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You have helped me so much(aka vegasgrl) you got me through the last 5 days. I want to cry and hug you.
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Day 24 sober.
Life milestone complete:
First time I drank two raw eggs. I had to psyche myself up a bit beforehand because i didnt really know what to expect.
They went down easy though. Far easier than i thought so i might make it a regular thing. They didnt taste of anything. It was kinda like drinking a thick gloopy glass of water.
The hardest part was swallowing the yolks whole; you can really feel 'em going down.
I also felt a bit like Rocky drinking them so that was cool.
I think this behaviour is because today I found no enjoyment in anything. I found zero joy in any of the things i normally like doing.
So for dinner i thought to myself, āwhats the point!!! Its not like i am going to enjoy it!!!ā So I just said fuck it and cracked two eggs into a glass and drank it.
Today sucked. But at least iām sober.
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