Quitting drinking feel depressed

The first few months of quitting were easy and I felt very positive, the further away from my last drink I have got I have noticed feeling pretty depressed most days. I feel like the highs and lows of drinking were masking an underlying depression and that now I’ve stopped with the distractions (alcohol) I realise how I actually feel. Wonder if anyone else had experienced this? Is it part of the process or am I just stuck like this now? I don’t look forward to things anymore, don’t enjoy things as much as I used to, & feel pretty exhausted with life. I have made lots of effort to meet new people and do different things to when I was drinking, so it’s not through lack of trying, but I’m struggling to find the motivation now.

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Congratulations on your new sobriety!! When I first joined this app I posted that in sobriety…. (after the misery of detoxing had passed) I felt like my fire was flickering. I felt “bored and boring” I have relapsed in the past for just this reason. I figure why stay sober if I’m miserable ???
I realize now I was right where my disease wanted me. 184 days later I can still get into that funk but it is temporary. On my worst day sober I realize that picking up that “sucker drink” will just put an immediate end to this journey that keeps getting better. I was probably an alcoholic from my first drink, but it took me decades to become a drunk of the hopeless variety. I need to remain patient and proud that for today my disease is at bay. Please be patient and strong :flexed_biceps::blush::blush::folded_hands:

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Sounds like you have the not drinking part figured out, but as it turns out the living life part is harder.

Every time I have felt stuck I have usually leaned into my recovery program. Usually by doing service work, or helping others, or doing amends. at the very least I would up my meeting attendance.

For me I have always had to create motivation, it’s never just jumped up and bit me in the ass.

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Or a good old fashioned boot burning.

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There’s like 6 people here who know what you’re talking about :joy::joy::joy:

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Things come up in early sobriety that like you said were masked when drinking. It could be worth it to talk to a therapist if the feelings persist. I know I have to do things for my mental health, like see a therapist and take some meds. My depression has actually gotten better since working the steps with my sponsor. One thing I know is that it does NOT have to stay this way with feeling depressed. I hope you will find your way out if it. It might take a little time and trying something new. :people_hugging:

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new knowledge

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You sure as hell aren’t stuck Pamela. It’s just you might need some other ways of working on living a good life. You might be truly clinically depressed. Which might need medical assistance (as in medication), or psychological (as in therapy), or both. Or more, like al these healthy livings things we have to do persistently, having a good day and night rhythm, going out, exercising, eating healthy, etcetera.

The thing with depression is that none of it seems worth it. And after years of alcohol use our brain chemistry is all out of whack and it can take quite a while till our bodies can find a new equilibrium again. Keep working friend. Try different strategies. BTW, I was back on antidepressants not so long after I got sober. Something I decided before I was never going to do again. But it was needed. And it helped. For me it helped to bridge the time I was on a waiting list for therapy. You take care friend. And keep going. Know drinking never helps. Hugs.

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I just looked it up. Happened about a year before I joined. Some wild stuff to be found in older posts here.

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Just goes to show, we can get up to some chaos even sober. :smirking_face:

Bringing it back to @Pamela though, I don’t have a ton of advice. It sounds as though you’ve been putting in some work. Do you have a local support group of some kind through all this?

One thing that may be a boost is a little written daily check in. On paper, just to yourself. A note of things that could’ve gone better and, as importantly, a gratitude list of things that are going well today. And no moment is too small to celebrate.

In my sobriety I get down sometimes too. Looking at life through a new lens of gratitude really helps me see how much better things are now. I recently carried on and on just noticing how lots of small, sober moments added up to having a very special weekend.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like it in this moment, but you’re here, now, in one piece and ready to embrace whatever might be next. I hope you grab onto it!

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Thank you a daily gratitude practice sounds helpful, it’s so easy to focus on the negatives :folded_hands:t2:

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Thank you for your kind words & advice, and you’re right nothing seems worth it, but I know I have to keep trying :folded_hands:t2:

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Yes I did notice that I hadn’t been doing as much recovery focused stuff recently, which was partly because things were going so well for months I thought I didn’t need to keep up with things as much (I was still going to meetings but had stopped listening to sober podcasts, audio books etc which I had been doing daily up until a month or so ago), but I’ve gone back to it all now. Getting back into that routine and reminding myself my sobriety has to stay front and centre Def helps.

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Your alcohol demon is waiting for you put your guard down. Make working on sobriety part of your everyday life. As everyday is day one and we have to choose not to drink. It does get easier over time. Reminder yourself why you started your journey. How hard it was to get to this point.

I know that when started getting nice outside the pokes started getting strong. I felt like I was missing out on something. But missing out on what?? Doing Stuipd stuff, saying stupid drunk things and spend half the day in bed with a hangover. The worse day sober is better than any day hangover. I drank to numb out the outside noise of my world. Now I’m learning to be on my world sober. Stay strong.

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Hi @Pamela
I think there’s a lot of good advice here about early sobriety, but i tend to align personally with @Kareness. Getting sober really shined a light on the mental health struggles i was masking with maladaptive “coping skills” including drinking, and getting sober showed me that i needed to work harder, be consistent with therapy and medications, and prioritize my sobriety and mental health recovery hand in hand. This obviously isnt the case for everyone but it’s been a hard-earned lesson on my end. I can’t have one without the other. Good luck :hugs:

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Are you going to meetings or are you a part of a recovery community of some kind?

Yes I go to meetings & am part of a sober community :+1:t2:

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Alcohol and the party scene does create an identity for a person and you can meet a lot of new people. Even though the identity it creates is toxic and the people you meet are shallow and enabling you do have an identity…

Ending that identity in sobriety opens up the line of thought about: ‘Well then who am I really other than just nobody at all?’ Also in sobriety you ‘feel’ your emotions and mental health. There are not a lot of easy answers to these questions or such a situation…

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I had to get on psych meds maybe that might be the case for you

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