Just goes to show, we can get up to some chaos even sober. 
Bringing it back to @Pamela though, I don’t have a ton of advice. It sounds as though you’ve been putting in some work. Do you have a local support group of some kind through all this?
One thing that may be a boost is a little written daily check in. On paper, just to yourself. A note of things that could’ve gone better and, as importantly, a gratitude list of things that are going well today. And no moment is too small to celebrate.
In my sobriety I get down sometimes too. Looking at life through a new lens of gratitude really helps me see how much better things are now. I recently carried on and on just noticing how lots of small, sober moments added up to having a very special weekend.
Maybe it doesn’t feel like it in this moment, but you’re here, now, in one piece and ready to embrace whatever might be next. I hope you grab onto it!