But my initial statement wasn’t about the problem it was about gaining more insight on what is “M” in the grand scheme of things. Where does it play in our humanity. I’m saying there’s something to be said about being able to experience pleasure that you can give to yourself and also saying I’m realizing there’s a problem when you use “M” to escape as a coping mechanisms to trauma or whatever reason is that turned to for it and it came a dependency or habituation for emotional stabilization.
I’m guessing the question posed was related to this>>>
As it seemed a problem was found, potentially, yet not defined. I’m guessing context and understanding is being sought after to better understand. Thats what I gathered, anyway.
True. My fault for getting all confusing on the chat. Seriously. I got carried away there. I really do appreciate the feedback though. It’s all helpful in my journey to figure out more about this addiction.
I guess if masturbation is the problem, we’d have to ask if it’s the physical aspects of masturbation that are the problem, or if it’s the non-physical aspects (the craving for it) that are the problem. And if the craving is the problem - if the obsession is the problem - then what does that mean?
I agree with you, thinking about it carefully and thoroughly can be helpful.
Yea. I’m going to keep contemplating it all. But definitely restraining. I will say since I’ve stopped watching P I have stopped masterbating haha. As if P was the catalyst to M. Anyway, this has been a good amount to chew on for me. Thanks for sharing!
It happened. And I knew it would. But I’m not going to shame myself. I’m learning from this. Restarted the timer and we just move forward with the knowledge and experience I learned from the last 7 days. I stand on the shoulders of my last sobriety length I say.
Triggers—I had little sleep. About 5 hours. Met up with an old friend (guy friend) who’s energy I’m learning is a lot for me. I’m learning when people have very intense outward emotions, it makes me kind of feel stuck and uncomfortable. So we hung out for like 2 hours and I felt so trapped and held hostage by his emotions the whole time. And we were just talking about our love and appreciation for music and he and I share the same birthday (Jan 5th) so we were connecting over that. Nice guy but I felt so damn exhausted after that. So thinking about how to navigate those feelings.
It was fucking Tik Tok that got me. Damnit. So I’m going to deactivate my account on that, too. Anyway, thanks guys for accepting me here. I almost didn’t post this because fucking shame. Today is going to be a hard day.
Any tips about how to stay positive after a slip-up would be appreciated.
My pleasure. I have been annoyed many times myself on this journey.
To explain a bit:
the car is life: we’re all moving through our lives, all the time
pressing the gas pedal is our personal, individual will: what I want, I want what I want, I want to be the power that pushes forward going where I want to go go go! The human will is an energetic thing - it’s not good or bad, but it needs to be guided externally
the hands on the steering wheel is about me seeking and accepting guidance: the map, the person giving directions; the guidance is external (I’m following directions to reach a destination - I’ve never been to that destination before - I need external guidance to get there, and I need to accept that guidance and use it to follow the journey in a healthy way)
