So, finally happened. Lost control big time. Jeopardizing my marriage. On some degree I feel like I wanted this to happen.
But, hell… not much to do than commit, seek help, check back in here, and walk the talk.
Not feeling like writing much else, maybe later share more details.
Just venting.
Tks.
Sounds like you didn’t have the best weekend… When you say lost control, do you mean too much of the drink, or somethin else? Regardless of the circumstance; do you really think you wanted to jepordize your marriage? Or is there feelings there that are perpetuated by the drink; remove the drink, remove the issue?
Tks for commenting.
Too much to drink. One, two, three beers and control is lost.
Deep down I don’t think I want to jeopardize on purpose, but for some reason I did want “to get caught”. Maybe some kind of cry out for help I guess.
Funny how we sort of know what’s the right thing to do but it is difficult to follow through.
Ain’t that the truth! We give great advice but can’t take our own…
Why do you think you wanted to get caught, doing whatever it was you did?
I know I wanted everything to blow up so that I wouldn’t have any other choice but to get help. That’s what worked for me and I’m glad it did. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I think I relate to what you are saying.
I feel like I spend most of the time treading water. The impulse to blow it all to smithereens just so I can feel like something is happening is always under the surface.
I have to remind myself that that’s a pretty crappy way to add pizzazz to my life.
Start again. We are here when you feel like venting.
Honestly, don’t know. Going to get professional help so hopefully I’ll get insight into that.
Tks for the conversation.
This. 100% relate.
Relate to this as well…
It’s ironic how things turn out. Every time I was out of pills (my DOC) I prayed for the will to stop. Little did I know that would end up being my wife finding out about my drug abuse, the nearly $10K I spent in less than four months buying pills (they are really expensive) and all of the lying, stealing etc… I went into rehab for my marriage and kids, but soon enough I wanted it for myself, whether my marriage held up or not. Use this as a call to arms. Deep down you were wanting it to happen, so make the best if this. Remember you never have to drink again. We’re all in this together so let us help you. NEVER CRAVE ALONE
“Deep down you were wanting it to happen, so make the best of this.”
Tks for this phrase.