Really need support

Thank you Matt! You’re spot on - I am very hard on myself with most things. I’ve been looking for new discussions to read so I’ll definitely look into dreams!

Hope you’re doing well :blush:

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I am the same way. It’s been challenging for me to learn to be reasonable with myself, to extend myself the same courtesy I extend to others. It’s a process - I’m learning.

You deserve to be respected, by yourself and by others. You deserve kindness and support. You are a good person who deserves a life where you are safe, physically and emotionally - where you aren’t trapped in a cage of impossible expectations.

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How are you doing today @HannahSara7?

Not great. I can’t stop thinking about bad things that have a 50/50 chance of even happening.

This makes it really hard to focus on anything else. I don’t want to drink but had I not stopped I would totally be dealing with this by drinking a lot.

I think if I just go to bed, tomorrow may be better. On the other hand, that option makes me feel sad and hopeless for better days. It’s hard to explain :pleading_face:

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Hi Hannah,
Sorry to hear you’re not feeling your best today. Some days are such a struggle and it seems like the best option is to just sleep through it - nothing wrong with that if it means you’ll get to relax some and feel better. Other things I like to do when feeling like this include going for a walk outside, sometimes I’ll listen to music or a podcast, other times I’ll just take in the peace of the outdoors and admire the trees n sky n clouds; or I’ll watch some stand-up comedy - this ALWAYS turns my feels around. A good laugh is the best medicine. It’s hard, but when we get out of our heads and into something joyful, it really does make one feel better :heart_decoration: will help you to stop fixating thoughts on drinking too, if that’s what’s happening… ? Alcohol will just bring regret and misery, those other options won’t.
Hope you feel better! Xo

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Thank you so much. That’s good advice and useful tips, I appreciate it so much!

I’m not fixated on thoughts of alcohol, just fears of outcomes I guess. None of which I can control but knowing that doesn’t seem to help a lot these days. I probably experience this more often than I thought but it was suppressed by my alcohol use.

I will definitely be trying new things to try to help so I don’t desire to use alcohol to cope.

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You are not alone. You can do this. You have lots of support here - whether you want to chat, write, vent, ask, read, or listen. While I can’t give advice on being or becoming long-term sober (I’m at the start of my journey), I know what you are going through.

[I once found myself waking up to the same realization that “drunk me” had totaled my car. I came to in the hospital. As soon as I opened my eyes I was arrested. Had I been conscious after the wreck I would have gone straight to jail (I luckily only served 45 days). I passed out driving and hit two other cars. Thank God no one died that night. That was a wake-up call. Let this be your wake-up call before it gets worse - because it will get worse if nothing changes.]

Also - don’t beat yourself up about what happened - it’s done. Just deal with the consequences and look forward, and don’t dwell. Consider yourself lucky that you’re still here. Read some posts and threads on here from others - it’s really been helping me. I hopped on earlier and read some encouraging posts when I started to feel weak. I hope this helps you!

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It sounds like having a mind full of cats & you’re trying to keep them in one place :innocent: It’s hard, it’s so hard, when for years you’ve been silencing that brilliant mind with alcohol. It will take some getting used to, to live and live yourself fully, clear and present, as yourself (unhidden).

You are not alone. There are many people here on Talking Sober who have been through what you’re going through, or something similar (including what you mentioned in your post here). It is a significant growth period in your life, and it will be intimidating. You will often feel like you don’t know what’s happening. (The old expression “get comfortable being uncomfortable” applies here.)

Don’t give up. Keep communicating, keep reaching out, keep sharing. Find spaces (Talking Sober, recovery groups - like the ones here, etc) where you can be heard and where you can receive support.

You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self :innocent:

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Thank you for sharing your own experience with me. I truly feel less alone when I’m reading you and everyone’s posts and it gives me hope that I won’t have to feel alone working through sobriety going forward.

It means the world to me.

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This is really good advice. I feel a lot more calm than I did like an hour ago. If I didn’t have these kinds of words of encouragement or guidance, I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last few days or how I could get through the next couple difficult weeks ahead.

It means the world to me!

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I have been on this platform for less than a week and I have to say that I am absolutely blown away by the support in this online community. We have such a great tool right here at our fingertips! Glad you are here!

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Same! I’m glad we’ve both found this safe haven!

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Welcome!
I’ve really valued this support group in the past. Everyone is so kind and understanding.
We’re all in this together.

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You literally described everything I feel too. I’ve totaled two cars, been arrested three times. I relive the same mistakes over and over. Today I went to my first meeting to get help. I’m trying fill myself with hope. Know you are not alone and finding help and support has also terrified me but I’m so happy I finally did. Things will get better, believe in yourself and know when you want to pick up a drink it’s not you wanting it, it’s the disease. It’s the only disease that tells you you don’t have a disease. We got this girl, we will beat it. The person helping me a said that she is “so fcking happy, I didn’t know it was possible to feel this way.” We will have that.

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I couldn’t of explained it better myself. Well said👍🏼

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Welcome Wendy! :wave: Nice to meet you. Glad to hear your first meeting was helpful for you :innocent:

Welcome to Talking Sober!

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