Reasons for fighting


So I read something about writing 3 reasons for fighting every day, and I’ve decided that might work better than just checking in.

So for today:
-It will help me fight depression, anxiety, and other issues I face.
-I’ll be reliable and a better support to people I love right now, and people I will love later on (future nieces and nephews)
-It will make me feel more comfortable with myself.


Three reasons for today are:

  1. Remembering how it hurts my mother.
  2. Wanting to move forward in my life instead of circling to the same rut.
  3. It tarnishes happy memories and creates behavior I don’t want to have.

  1. Get back to my old me. I was more creative before I drank more than special occasions. Was a better person, healthier and happier.
  2. For my boyfriend… he’s seen the bad shit I’ve done or said and it broke his heart. And truly just embarrassing. It’s been the cause of most bad things.
  3. I’m not really sure about a third… better work ethic? Better health? Take a normal shit… Lol. There are many reasons but the two top are really the ones for me.


I’m a little late today, but:

  1. I want the ferocity of a good person’s heart
  2. I want my determination back to endure against the trials of life, and fighting this battle may teach me that.
  3. I want vulnerable people to always be safe around me, even at my worst.


Today’s reasons are:

  1. I don’t want my thinking interrupted with intrusive thoughts related to the addiction
  2. I don’t want to believe I’m inadequate
  3. I don’t want my fanfiction account history to reflect my addiction. There’s one that’s a little out of the box.


Uuuugh it’s way too friggin late for this. Today’s are:

  1. Becoming more reliably independent without wondering if I’ll fall back on the addiction once I move out
  2. Less intrusive thoughts. Like please.
  3. If I ever fall to my vices let it at least be the ones I have any respect for. Like, not this.


It’s getting hard not to be repetitive, and honestly I don’t expect not to be, but I’d like to minimize it so I can explore just how much I really want this to end.

  1. The characters I love would be prouder of me
  2. I feel so much better when I’m away from it
  3. I’m making choices instead of drifting through life.


So I’m kinda delirious. It’s really late and my bro just got home from Utah so that’s cool.

  1. My bro would be proud if I stopped.
  2. I wouldn’t be at risk for accidentally spilling tmi while in this beloved state, not that I have but I’m worried.
  3. I guess I shouldn’t fall into the category of awful gross creators who put in secret gross stuff to otherwise good things. Like children’s games. Who does that? Bad.


Three reasons for fighting today

  1. i have to be able to drive to work
  2. one of my best friends has been counting on me to bring him to meetings
  3. so i can keep a clear mind and make rational decisions without regretting them tomorrow.


  1. It messes up my already nightmarish creative
  2. Breaking free will help me get the motivation to keep doing positive things for my life.
  3. I always hate myself after. It’s not just too much candy hate, it’s “I’ll never amount to anything” hate, so the worst kind.


My mental health is getting a little skewed today, little bit depressed. Considering taking a melatonin just to make sure I don’t stay up all night digging deeper.

  1. Giving into the addiction makes me like 10x as depressed and that’s really not what I need rn.
  2. It also makes me a little bit more uncomfortable in my favorite outfits because of the negative association
  3. I want to be someone likable, occasionally scary, and supportive. This addiction ruins that entire image and I’m really ticked off by that.


Feeling a bit better today.

  1. My little cousins look up to me, my friend’s kids loved hanging out with me while they were here. I want to be someone to protect them, who won’t damage them with my own issues. They deserve so much.
  2. I never feel motivated when I give in. I just get more apathetic.
  3. If I can get passed this I can focus on more positive life changes. Ones with funner outcomes.


I really hope I can keep holding out. This is getting hard.

  1. I’m clearer headed when I don’t give in.
  2. I’ll get caught eventually if I keep this up, and I think I would just die of shame.
  3. I don’t want to have to worry about this anymore. I just want to be me and live free of this ugly stain on my life.


I like this prompt.
Three reasons for today:

  1. I finally feel healthy again. I was so getting so ill from alcohol, my symptoms were truly scary. Vomiting in the mornings, sometimes with blood, no appetite, a constant clammy feeling… and more. I don’t ever want to be back there.
  2. To be someone I can be proud of. I have no self respect when abusing alcohol.
  3. To keep losing weight. Sorry if that’s shallow, but it motivates me! I’ve been on a pretty strict diet for my 20 days sober, and between that and no empty alcohol calories I’ve lost 8 lbs in 20 days! Feels fking great :hugs:

Wow that really made me feel better about not drinking! I’ve been pretty uninspired the past few days


Frick I almost forgot it tonight.

  1. It’ll be easier to sleep
  2. I’ll have more self disciple
  3. ^ Thats a valuable trait for any cool op side character and I wouldn’t mind having the irl equivalent role. Yeah I’ll nerd my way out of my addiction.


Uuugh I’ve got to start going to bed earlier. Back when it was warm I’d wake up early every morning but screw that.

  1. I like myself so much better when I’m off it
  2. I’m so much more productive
  3. I don’t feel gross


Good thanksgiving, just in a bit of pain, a little drained from helping cook.

  1. I want more holidays where I’m focused on the good stuff
  2. My mom is very tired and needs help. I need to be able to help her.
  3. I need to be able to give my little cousins good advice on healthy coping, especially one in particular. She’s got it rough.


… and now I pay the price for breaking the sacred law my stomach holds above all else. No gluten. The roles were worth it.

  1. I can only handle one self destruction at a time. Gluten it is. Things that taste good beat addiction any day.
  2. I want to meet my online friend some day and she’s a good Christian girl who does her best to always be kind and I really want to be someone I can be proud of then.
  3. I would really like a pickmeup for bad depression days. Being able to activate fighting spirit on command might help there.

  1. not being hungover and being able to care for my son as a sober mom should.
  2. feeling mental clarity
  3. living my day with integrity: no telling lies.


I wonder how long I can do this? I’m hoping for a new record at least. Just so anyone who might be following knows I’m going to keep doing this even if I mess up.

  1. There’s a lot of things I hate and complain about in life, although if you haven’t seen me on a bad day you won’t hear any of it. I’d like to be more positive, so it’d be great to mark off a complaint from the list.
  2. I don’t want to be on the addiction when I’m around grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
  3. I don’t want this associated with good things.