Hey guys, hope you’re having a good morning.
Yesterday at work (restaurant) it was very busy. When it got quiet I had a little down and around 11h I just had that feeling hitting me : I need a drink. Or, better, “I deserve a drink”. So anyways I kept walking around and do my duties feeling kinda angry/irritated because I was telling myself that I couldn’t have a drink but the feeling was there, that old urge trying to tell me that I could have just one after my shift. So then I was telling myself that my body needed actually more rest, water and food (I was really tired from couples shifts in a row and training). I was telling myself many reasons why I should not drink, starting from resetting my counter to keeping a promise to my brother.
And then I thought about something that made me realized I couldn’t have just one drink. I went into that feeling, that urge to drink , and I knew that It didn’t wanted just one drink: that feeling wanted to chug some pints. And if I just had one drink yesterday, then this feeling would have grown and today I would have told myself “ok just 2 today”, etc.
All this to say that, we all have many reasons why we should not drink, and yesterday (I already felt that when I first stopped drinking in September) there was one big reason for me why I know I can’t drink, is that when I want to drink I WANT to drink a lot. This is what I like in drinking: having a lot of beers, couples drinks and finishing with some goods on the rocks. Even if this could be ok for some people, well for me this ends in a black picture and a lot of problems in my head for days.
I can’t have one drink because I don’t want one drink, I always want more; so one drink is too much for me because more is too much for me.
Just wanted to share this this morning.
Do you guys have something you tell yourself when you’re thinking about “relapsing just a little”, about the reasons why you can’t? whatever the addiction is ?
Thanks for reading guys hope you have a wonderful day, with your minds getting clearer and clearer every day.
Thanks for sharing @WCan . I know that feeling well and well done for not succumbing to that urge! My reasons for not drinking are many. So what I think about is where that one drink will end up… playing the tape out to the end…I would lose my family my house my self respect…any many others…but most importantly I love being sober and enjoy that far more than drinking…
can’t have one drink because I don’t want one drink, I always want more; so one drink is too much for me because more is too much for me.
I say to myself: One is not enough and 1000 is too many.
I also play the tape in my head . It might be nice to have four or six and nothing bad will happen but I’d drink again. I know in my bones that I cannot push it anymore. A serious disaster is waiting for me if I drink again. I already escaped two catastrophes I don’t think I get anymore chances.
Besides life is better on this side.
Great job thinking through that urge last night. You are stronger every time you don’t give in.
One drink won’t calm my nerves. Help me stress less. Let any of my concerns go away. It’s a dangerous doorway that will lead to no where good! There’s not one good reason to drink, my life depends on staying sober. It’s terminal if I continue to drink. Is it worth that? No. I do this so I can be here to watch my son grow up, he deserves this and so do I!
That’s exactly how I feel. It’s not that I can’t have just one or two drinks it’s that I WANT more than one or two drinks. And that’s just plan unhealthy both physically and mentally
This is exactly how I feel too. I never understood how people can just have 1 or 2 beers and stop. Whenever I thought (and still think) about drinking, it’s always to get drunk. It just seems like that’s the whole point.
Even now when I think about maybe having “just one” my mind instantly jumps to considering buying enough to get a little drunk “just in case”. In case of what? I don’t know lol…
1 is too many and 1000 is never enough.
But every morning I wake up after not feeding my urge to drink the night before, I feel so fucking proud of myself lol. Like, ‘Fuck yeah, I can tough this shit out. I don’t need to escape into a bottle. Bring it ON life!’
It’s kinda like this addiction set my life on “challenge mode”. It’s certainly difficult at times, but the reward of a seeming mental toughness is worth it. But That’s just me trying to find the optimism in this
God the thought of only being slightly drunk and having to go to bed instead of totalled terrified me. How would I cope, nope better make sure I’ve enough in to get blackout.
Thanks for sharing this pal. In the beginning Acceptance helped me a lot. Acceptance that I was an alcoholic of course helped. But acceptance that I am one drink away from oblivion really helped me with cravings. That “one drink” will beat me every time. That “one drink” wants me estranged from my family. It wants me homeless and jobless. And it ultimately wants me dead.
That’s how serious this is for me. The good news is that i don’t have to take that first drink. There’s no problem that I have that a drink won’t make worse. So today I chose to not take that drink
When my drinking career was in its infancy in my midteeens I remember being perplexed by how my best friend would drink. He could nurse a beer for seemingly hours. I almost wondered what was wrong with him. I on the other hand would drink them as fast as they would flow down my throat.
Nowadays, I know I can’t handle alcohol. One drink most likely leads to 8 at a minimum. My personality changes into someone I don’t really like, I black out, make reckless choices and then wake up hung over, miserable with a belly full of shame. I really don’t want that for myself anymore or the people in my life. Most often when the thought of drinking comes up I think of the thousands of gallons of beer I’ve consumed in my addiction and am sickened.
One drink isn’t worth my soul.
