Recovery from porn/ masturbation! 😞

Emotional Support
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Hi,
I want some sources to help me in my recovery and if any one have advices.
I tried before to get rid of this addiction but I failed!..
Now I do my best to keep clean.

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Patrick Carnes has a lot of good books and podcasts. Look on the SAA website for reading material too

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Hi Jasmin, welcome! There are many of us here - men and women - recovering from exactly that. You are not alone.

As noted above, Patrick Carnes has many excellent books. They focus on sex addiction specifically but many of the concepts are similar to porn & masturbation recovery, so there is a lot of overlap.

There are a number of good resources here:

Don’t ever give up. You are a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self, and have a healthy relationship with yourself and, if you choose, with others. You’re doing important work here - and you will reach your goal.

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Thanks :heart::hugs:
I will do.

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Welcome Jasmine. Plenty here who suffer with your addiction. You’re very welcome here :blush:

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Thanks :hugs::heart:
I don’t feel alone here, there are a lot of friends who help me and support me, it’s making my happy :blush:

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Hope you find what you’re looking for on here. There’s a lot of help here

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Hi!
I had an issue with this about 9 years ago. I don’t know if it was an addiction per se but I know it was leading down that path.
What I had to do was get rid of my computer, I had my ex-husband put a parental control lock on the tv as well as my phone and could only use it when supervised. If you have any sex toys, remove them from your home as well.
Anything that triggers you (pictures, books, posters, etc) remove them!
Cold shower? They really work! :sweat_smile:
Keep your hands busy as well. Find things to do like puzzles, coloring, knitting, making clay pots or sculptures, stress games, etc.
Crossword puzzles and word searches help as well.

It is not easy but you can do it!!

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Thanks for your support :heart:

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Everything is a trigger for a man sexually it seems. Especially when using. I can’t understand how to go without masturbating completely. Like it phiscally hurt’s or ends up being a problem while asleep. Help! Any advice?

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Have you tried behavior therapy for this?
Different therapies are super beneficial including trying hypnotherapy.

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Ultimately it comes down to resolve and taking it one day at a time. (Or one minute at a time.)

You don’t need to masturbate in the next five minutes. Nothing is forcing you to. So you don’t.

Rinse and repeat.

The obsession is that thing that creeps into your head, where you fixate on the addictive behaviour (or substance). Obsession is fundamental to addiction. Obsession has to be tackled by completely uprooting it.

Replace any devices that allow you access to porn. Switch your smartphone for a flip phone. Heck, even get rid of your laptop and use the public computers at the library when you need to check your email.

You resolve to do something and do whatever it takes to do it. All the ideas that we “need” some device or some routine are mostly habit and social conditioning - and not actually required to live successfully.

Introduce new interests to your time, gradually. Cooking, exercise, audiobooks, sketching, carving, music. Introduce the act of healthy creation into your life. We need to create. We all do. Our addictions stifle that, and we’ve forgotten how important it is; we re-learn it as we sober up.

Meanwhile, pay attention to the times urges come up. They will come. When they do, notice:

  • Where you are
  • What you’re doing
  • what you were just doing a moment ago, or where you were / who you saw
  • your feelings: angry/frustrated, sad, disgusted, joyful, fearful (or some variations of those) (don’t worry about analyzing the feelings - just recognize them and be conscious and accepting of them; they are there, it may take time - even a few days - but they will gradually flow through you & pass)

Keep in mind the phrase “this too shall pass”. Everything does. Every single thing. The urges will pass. The obsession will pass.

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What do you mean by this? Just a wet dream, or something else?