Hopefully the therapist can talk with you and help you decide what to work on. They may have their own ideas after talking with you, or they may want you to pick the direction. For the latter, I would just think about questions like this:
What do I hope therapy will do for me?
What are the biggest struggles in my life right now?
I want to learn how to deal with _______
And if you get any sort of ideas along those lines, those would be good to share with the therapist. That kind of information will help them decide with you how to proceed.
The first appointment tends to be more about you and the therapist getting to know each other and determining where to go with the therapy. You can definitely talk it through with the therapist and ask for help with deciding what to work on.
Thank you both. I think Ill sit down with these questions over the weekend and perhaps putting pen to paper will help me work out what I need. I have some thoughts already, but man, unraveling this mess left behind is going to take some work.
And time, too. Though that time can make the work easier in some ways. Some of the lessons and realizations do come quickly. Others take time and canāt be rushed in any way. Keeping your expectations in check will help you have a better experience. Itās natural to hope for everything to start clearing up once you begin, yet we know growth happens on a timeline and not all at once. But it has been very worth it for me.
Thanks for this thread @ifs - my mental health challenges are not as debilitating as others but I relate to so much of what has been said and itās very helpful for me.
Had a review call with my doctor yesterday, first thing he wants to try is upping the dose of Sertraline and then see what happens, maybe change meds if getting to maximum dose doesnāt work. Still waiting for CBT, reckon that will be another couple of months. Iāve also been referred for blood tests as thyroid issues run in my family, although I did have a test a few years ago that came back clear and it turned out I just had a fat neck
Something I am wondering about, is how important a diagnosis is. I donāt know if I have depression or something else, I donāt know if it really matters, and I donāt know if I should ask about that or just see what happens. Any thoughts?
For me, a diagnosis is key. We are trying to find the proper diagnosis for me currently. Iāve had so many wrong diagnosisā in the past, been put on the wrong treatment plans and/or wrong medications. I need some acceptance and closure on my issues, and the closure can come with knowing what Iām dealing with and then I can move to the next phase. For me, this is taking forever! Somehow Iāve got the patience. Part of the reason itās taking forever, or probably most of the reason, is my past drinking and benzo abuse. During that time I had multiple wrong diagnosis and wrong meds. Took me 2 years to get off Seroquel and we needed to wait till that was clear of my system and I had mentally adjusted. Weāve been trying different med combinations since. Next time I see my psychiatrist Iām going to tell her that I want the following appointment to be the rediagnosis.
So Iāve got an appointment for CBT next week. I also have a doctorās appointment the day after to talk about meds. I donāt know what to say, I donāt know how I feel, I donāt know what I want out of any of this. Hmmph.
Just goā¦and tell your therapist how you are feeling. He or she can help you clarify goals. You donāt have to know anything other than that you want to feel better or differently.
Itās okay not to know those things. Most people donāt have that figured out before they go in and it still works out fine!
You can also ask at the appointment āWhat can CBT do for me?ā. And at the doctorās appointment, āWhat medications are there that you think could help? Which would you suggest? Iām interested in XYZ, do you think that would be a good fit? What are the benefits, drawbacks, side effects, how long will it take to notice a change?ā etc.
You can also think about:
How do I generally feel most days?
When I donāt feel well, what is that like for me?
When I donāt feel well, what are some signs others might notice about me or my behaviour?
What do I like about good days, when Iām feeling myself?
If I could wave a magic wand to fix something about my life, what would I fix? (personally I dislike being asked this, but a couple different professionals have used it with me, so I figure it has its uses)
But donāt stress about it too much. The therapist and doctor are there to help you figure it out, if you come up with any thoughts beforehand it is just bonus.
I too struggle with dual issues. I think itās more common than I ever realized. What helped me most is the Recovery International method. Itās basically CBT and transformed me from constantly waiting for something bad to happen to learning I really can conquer my fears. Itās a lot of work but SO worth it.
@ifs those are very helpful questions. I need to make a list before I go to make sure I cover what I need to and the answers to your questions will be part of that. Thank you
I so relate. Many months ago I did the same as you and @SassyRocks after a small scare of my own. I was straight about my journey, the recovery, the tricky parts that still had me bound up. What else can be done?
And yknow, it worked out alright. As I hope it does for you as well. Courage and peace, @siand.
Thanks @Eke it feels like a long time coming, been on the waiting list since May. Think that is contributing to the sense of confusion, Iāve had a lonng time to think about how I feel. Too long really, to the point that I donāt really know! But here I am so I suppose this is where Iām supposed to be.
I decided to resurrect this thread instead of starting a new one. This thread has a mix of people sharing their experiences navigating mental health and sobriety, and thatās what Iām posting about here.
I have ADHD and depression, both of which I think āprimedā me to fall into the addiction trap. (The addiction trap: a young person with mental exceptionalities, who has struggled to fit into cookie-cutters that have no room for their uniqueness, finds something - some substance or behaviour - which numbs their pain and alienation, even if for a short time, and an addiction is born.)
I read this article today and the closing paragraphs made me pause. I felt pain; I felt like I could see that journey. I felt grief for all the other people with mental exceptionalities who, tragically, find āreliefā in their addiction. (How crazy is it that with all the advancements in science and tech and society, thereās still so many people falling through the cracks?)
In particular these paragraphs - read these and tell me you donāt see yourself in that:
My sister first started drinking in her teens. When she still struggled after high school, my parents sought help. My mother works in the human services field; she understands the system. But even for her, it was not easy to navigate Catherineās addiction. Trips to the hospital left my sister feeling judged ā she was yelled at for trying to detox at home and she had seizures when she tried to stop.
Societyās opinion of addicts created shame. She needed help for a long possible borderline personality disorder. But did that predate the addiction? My mom couldnāt find resources to manage both.
In pain, I pushed Catherine out of my life. But Iām thankful I picked up her calls during the pandemic. A phone call a week before she passed will be my last memory of her.
But I donāt like to think of my sister as an adult. When I remember Catherine, I think of the little girl that left half finished art projects scattered throughout our house. The wild, middle child with the wicked sense of humour.
To anyone reading this whoās struggling with finding their rhythm and feels like their way of thinking or feeling is out of sync with the world around them - you are not alone. Reach out for help. Find people who understand. Join recovery groups and other support services. They are out there.
You are loved and you matter. Your life, with you present, matters.
Oh Matt, I saw your āyou are missedā for James, which I commented on. I literally was thinking and speaking of James this weekend and his incredible capacity to share his painful mental health journey and lead always with love, compassion and empathy. He is a wise soul and is dearly missed. I so hope he is well.
To your post, mental health has been a challenge lately and yes, so much goes back to childhood. You may recall a private exchange we had about my brother? He is currently serving a 5 year sentence for his addiction and it has been incredibly challenging for our family. My elderly parents worry they will never see him in person againā¦tho of course this is a real possibility for all of us, every day, with our loved ones. Attempting to navigate the prison system takes a lot of band width.
I see so much of myself and my ālittleā brother in every addict who was lost in the system and unable to find that connection and compassion needed to heal. The challenges we both share started so young. It certainly feels like we are failing in our country to address mental health issues and substance abuse / addictionā¦especially as it presents in our youth.
I actually was thinking just last night of how when I quit smoking over a decade ago, of how after my quit was finally solid my mental health issues re presented themselves and I needed to find a way to actually feel and live in my body and mind. Sadly, I didnāt do well at that, and my alcohol consumption (already bad) got much worse ā¦and well, here we are again now. My alcohol abuse is in handā¦my mental health is rough. I vividly understand the correlation and I have all my tools and yetā¦here I stumble around more.
I can only come back to this moment and my breath. Breathing in, breathing out. I so wish there was a close by sangha for community. There is a labyrinth thoā¦and I will walk it.
Iām sorry to hear about your brother. I remember that conversation we had. It is heartbreaking to see how addiction corrodes relationships. It seeps in, like water leaking into a machine, and rusts them from the inside out.
I think of James often here. He posted more regularly when I first arrived. His voice has a unique strength.
I miss him too. Canāt overstate his importance for me in my first sober year here. I can only hope heās OK. I always was amazed at his wisdom, at his clear view, at his intelligence, his compassion, while at the same time he was in such huge personal trouble with his mental health.
Although in a way that goes for many of us here. Goes for you Matt, and for you too Sassy. Most important thing still is that weāre in this together. Canāt do it alone. And this recovery stuff isnāt linear. At all. Progress there, regression here. Itās so hard finding our way, with or without using. Iām at a moment where I think I havenāt made any progress at all. Luckily Iāve learned to feel a bit too, and I do feel the progress I made too. Just so much more to work on.
Not sure where Iām going with this. I am sure I am glad I am here with you friends. wish james was here too. So much truth adn wisdom and compassion in this short thread. Thanks for bringing it back Matt.
