Recovery: Mental Health, and dealing with what was underneath

Hopefully the therapist can talk with you and help you decide what to work on. They may have their own ideas after talking with you, or they may want you to pick the direction. For the latter, I would just think about questions like this:

  • What do I hope therapy will do for me?
  • What are the biggest struggles in my life right now?
  • I want to learn how to deal with _______

And if you get any sort of ideas along those lines, those would be good to share with the therapist. That kind of information will help them decide with you how to proceed.

The first appointment tends to be more about you and the therapist getting to know each other and determining where to go with the therapy. You can definitely talk it through with the therapist and ask for help with deciding what to work on.

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Thank you both. I think Ill sit down with these questions over the weekend and perhaps putting pen to paper will help me work out what I need. I have some thoughts already, but man, unraveling this mess left behind is going to take some work.

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And time, too. Though that time can make the work easier in some ways. Some of the lessons and realizations do come quickly. Others take time and canā€™t be rushed in any way. Keeping your expectations in check will help you have a better experience. Itā€™s natural to hope for everything to start clearing up once you begin, yet we know growth happens on a timeline and not all at once. But it has been very worth it for me.

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Thanks for this thread @ifs - my mental health challenges are not as debilitating as others but I relate to so much of what has been said and itā€™s very helpful for me.

Had a review call with my doctor yesterday, first thing he wants to try is upping the dose of Sertraline and then see what happens, maybe change meds if getting to maximum dose doesnā€™t work. Still waiting for CBT, reckon that will be another couple of months. Iā€™ve also been referred for blood tests as thyroid issues run in my family, although I did have a test a few years ago that came back clear and it turned out I just had a fat neck :joy:

Something I am wondering about, is how important a diagnosis is. I donā€™t know if I have depression or something else, I donā€™t know if it really matters, and I donā€™t know if I should ask about that or just see what happens. Any thoughts?

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For me, a diagnosis is key. We are trying to find the proper diagnosis for me currently. Iā€™ve had so many wrong diagnosisā€™ in the past, been put on the wrong treatment plans and/or wrong medications. I need some acceptance and closure on my issues, and the closure can come with knowing what Iā€™m dealing with and then I can move to the next phase. For me, this is taking forever! Somehow Iā€™ve got the patience. Part of the reason itā€™s taking forever, or probably most of the reason, is my past drinking and benzo abuse. During that time I had multiple wrong diagnosis and wrong meds. Took me 2 years to get off Seroquel and we needed to wait till that was clear of my system and I had mentally adjusted. Weā€™ve been trying different med combinations since. Next time I see my psychiatrist Iā€™m going to tell her that I want the following appointment to be the rediagnosis.

Patience. I fucking hate patience.

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This is an amazing description of our dilemma in getting sober!

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So Iā€™ve got an appointment for CBT next week. I also have a doctorā€™s appointment the day after to talk about meds. I donā€™t know what to say, I donā€™t know how I feel, I donā€™t know what I want out of any of this. Hmmph.

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Just goā€¦and tell your therapist how you are feeling. He or she can help you clarify goals. You donā€™t have to know anything other than that you want to feel better or differently.

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I hear you and understand. I am in a similar place and met with my doctor recently. We decided to get me back on Lexapro and Wellbutrin.

Hopefully a talk with your doctors will help you navigate to where you want to be. I know feeling off is an uncomfortable place to be.

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Itā€™s okay not to know those things. Most people donā€™t have that figured out before they go in and it still works out fine!

You can also ask at the appointment ā€œWhat can CBT do for me?ā€. And at the doctorā€™s appointment, ā€œWhat medications are there that you think could help? Which would you suggest? Iā€™m interested in XYZ, do you think that would be a good fit? What are the benefits, drawbacks, side effects, how long will it take to notice a change?ā€ etc.

You can also think about:

  • How do I generally feel most days?
  • When I donā€™t feel well, what is that like for me?
  • When I donā€™t feel well, what are some signs others might notice about me or my behaviour?
  • What do I like about good days, when Iā€™m feeling myself?
  • If I could wave a magic wand to fix something about my life, what would I fix? (personally I dislike being asked this, but a couple different professionals have used it with me, so I figure it has its uses)

But donā€™t stress about it too much. The therapist and doctor are there to help you figure it out, if you come up with any thoughts beforehand it is just bonus.

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I too struggle with dual issues. I think itā€™s more common than I ever realized. What helped me most is the Recovery International method. Itā€™s basically CBT and transformed me from constantly waiting for something bad to happen to learning I really can conquer my fears. Itā€™s a lot of work but SO worth it.

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Brilliant questions. @siand best of luck for ur appointment. Even just explaining u donā€™t know will help the dr to ask u some questions

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@MoCatt @SassyRocks @Vbc2000 @CapriciousCapricorn @Misokatsu @Meggers @Fargesia_murielae @Sober_Ninja thank you so much for all your comments, encouragement and support. I am really grateful for them :pray::sparkling_heart:

@ifs those are very helpful questions. I need to make a list before I go to make sure I cover what I need to and the answers to your questions will be part of that. Thank you :hugs:

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I so relate. Many months ago I did the same as you and @SassyRocks after a small scare of my own. I was straight about my journey, the recovery, the tricky parts that still had me bound up. What else can be done?

And yknow, it worked out alright. As I hope it does for you as well. Courage and peace, @siand. :v: :heart:

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Thanks @Eke it feels like a long time coming, been on the waiting list since May. Think that is contributing to the sense of confusion, Iā€™ve had a lonng time to think about how I feel. Too long really, to the point that I donā€™t really know! But here I am so I suppose this is where Iā€™m supposed to be.

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I miss @ifs :slightly_smiling_face:

I decided to resurrect this thread instead of starting a new one. This thread has a mix of people sharing their experiences navigating mental health and sobriety, and thatā€™s what Iā€™m posting about here.

I have ADHD and depression, both of which I think ā€œprimedā€ me to fall into the addiction trap. (The addiction trap: a young person with mental exceptionalities, who has struggled to fit into cookie-cutters that have no room for their uniqueness, finds something - some substance or behaviour - which numbs their pain and alienation, even if for a short time, and an addiction is born.)

I read this article today and the closing paragraphs made me pause. I felt pain; I felt like I could see that journey. I felt grief for all the other people with mental exceptionalities who, tragically, find ā€œreliefā€ in their addiction. (How crazy is it that with all the advancements in science and tech and society, thereā€™s still so many people falling through the cracks?)

In particular these paragraphs - read these and tell me you donā€™t see yourself in that:

My sister first started drinking in her teens. When she still struggled after high school, my parents sought help. My mother works in the human services field; she understands the system. But even for her, it was not easy to navigate Catherineā€™s addiction. Trips to the hospital left my sister feeling judged ā€” she was yelled at for trying to detox at home and she had seizures when she tried to stop.

Societyā€™s opinion of addicts created shame. She needed help for a long possible borderline personality disorder. But did that predate the addiction? My mom couldnā€™t find resources to manage both.

In pain, I pushed Catherine out of my life. But Iā€™m thankful I picked up her calls during the pandemic. A phone call a week before she passed will be my last memory of her.

But I donā€™t like to think of my sister as an adult. When I remember Catherine, I think of the little girl that left half finished art projects scattered throughout our house. The wild, middle child with the wicked sense of humour.

To anyone reading this whoā€™s struggling with finding their rhythm and feels like their way of thinking or feeling is out of sync with the world around them - you are not alone. Reach out for help. Find people who understand. Join recovery groups and other support services. They are out there.

You are loved and you matter. Your life, with you present, matters. :innocent:

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Oh Matt, I saw your ā€˜you are missedā€™ for James, which I commented on. I literally was thinking and speaking of James this weekend and his incredible capacity to share his painful mental health journey and lead always with love, compassion and empathy. He is a wise soul and is dearly missed. I so hope he is well.

To your post, mental health has been a challenge lately and yes, so much goes back to childhood. You may recall a private exchange we had about my brother? He is currently serving a 5 year sentence for his addiction and it has been incredibly challenging for our family. My elderly parents worry they will never see him in person againā€¦tho of course this is a real possibility for all of us, every day, with our loved ones. Attempting to navigate the prison system takes a lot of band width.

I see so much of myself and my ā€˜littleā€™ brother in every addict who was lost in the system and unable to find that connection and compassion needed to heal. The challenges we both share started so young. It certainly feels like we are failing in our country to address mental health issues and substance abuse / addictionā€¦especially as it presents in our youth.

I actually was thinking just last night of how when I quit smoking over a decade ago, of how after my quit was finally solid my mental health issues re presented themselves and I needed to find a way to actually feel and live in my body and mind. Sadly, I didnā€™t do well at that, and my alcohol consumption (already bad) got much worse ā€¦and well, here we are again now. My alcohol abuse is in handā€¦my mental health is rough. I vividly understand the correlation and I have all my tools and yetā€¦here I stumble around more.

I can only come back to this moment and my breath. Breathing in, breathing out. I so wish there was a close by sangha for community. There is a labyrinth thoā€¦and I will walk it.

Ah well, another ramble by me, about me. :woman_shrugging:

May James be healing. May we all be healing.

Thank you Matt. :heart:

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Iā€™m sorry to hear about your brother. I remember that conversation we had. It is heartbreaking to see how addiction corrodes relationships. It seeps in, like water leaking into a machine, and rusts them from the inside out.

I think of James often here. He posted more regularly when I first arrived. His voice has a unique strength.

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Yes, it certainly does. James is an inspiring individual. A very calming presence. I sure do miss him and all he brought to our community. :heart:

I appreciate your kindness, Matt. So much stigma around it all. Heartbreaking.

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I miss him too. Canā€™t overstate his importance for me in my first sober year here. I can only hope heā€™s OK. I always was amazed at his wisdom, at his clear view, at his intelligence, his compassion, while at the same time he was in such huge personal trouble with his mental health.

Although in a way that goes for many of us here. Goes for you Matt, and for you too Sassy. Most important thing still is that weā€™re in this together. Canā€™t do it alone. And this recovery stuff isnā€™t linear. At all. Progress there, regression here. Itā€™s so hard finding our way, with or without using. Iā€™m at a moment where I think I havenā€™t made any progress at all. Luckily Iā€™ve learned to feel a bit too, and I do feel the progress I made too. Just so much more to work on.

Not sure where Iā€™m going with this. I am sure I am glad I am here with you friends. wish james was here too. So much truth adn wisdom and compassion in this short thread. Thanks for bringing it back Matt.

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