good old eddy. a legend has transformed!
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October 10th
I donât think we can do anything very well in this world unless we practice it. And I donât believe we do A.A. too well unless we practice it. . . . We should practice . . . acquiring the spirit of service. We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isnât easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today. But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone elseâŚ"
DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, pp. 307-08
As we get sober and start to incorporate the program into our lives, many of us struggle. We have to be rigorously honest in words and deeds. We have to be of service with no expectations of something in return. We have to develop or restore a belief in a Higher Power that will help us stay sober. In short, nearly everything we do and think has to change. This transformation doesnât happen over night, and it usually takes a good chunk of time and commitment to face these new realities. For most of us, we have to fake it until we make it; take the body, the mind will follow. We learn that we canât think our way into right actions; we have to act our way into right thinking. The beginning of this process is a full surrender, but this is followed closely by the necessity of clearing our spiritual blockages by taking the steps. Slowly, over time and through consistent action, our working the program turns into the program working us. We donât necessarily have to consciously apply the principles in our lives, it just comes naturally without thought. Today, if Iâm not practicing the program principles in my life, I immediately get a sense of discomfort. But, when I allow this program to work in and through me, I get that most cherished outcome, a quiet mind and peaceful heart, and in life, this is a precious gift I never thought possible. 
Have a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourself and to others.
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October 11th
We forgot that most alcoholics in A.A. have an earning power considerably above average; we forgot the immense good will of our brother A.A.'s who were only too eager to help us to better jobs when we deserved them; we forgot the actual or potential financial insecurity of every human being in the world. And, worst of all, we forgot God. In money matters we had faith only in ourselves, and not too much of that.
12 & 12, pp. 121
If we stay sober long enough, all of us will experience times in which we lose our priorities and allow money, property and prestige to become the dominant force in our lives. We may even gain momentary euphoria from our achievements, but inevitably, those feelings of gratification are short-lived at best. We become immediately transfixed on the next âwantâ or âmore,â which we know played out so badly when we were drinking. So many of us fall into this trap, and the program and God fall down our list of priorities. We would all be wise to recognize this potential downfall and recommit to the 2nd, 3rd, and 11th steps. If you made an honest list of your goals and priorities in life, would a loving relationship with God be #1, or would it be some materialistic gain? It is clear that we need to pay the bills and be responsible, but it is just as essential that we recognize the grave nature of our selfish minds. I am truly grateful for the program and fellowship, for it saved my pitiful life. But, even with this immense gratitude for the program, I still have to make a conscious effort at times to keep God and my recovery above petty selfish wants.
Has a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourself and to others.
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October 12th
When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone. He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 106-107
Each of us has had at least one spiritual experience or awakening, and that is the day we decided to walk through the doors of AA, and we admitted that we were alcoholics. I did not believe the spiritual connection to my staying sober at first, but it was clear to me that you believed, and your lives were infinitely better than mine. Once I began to stay willing and open minded to this new way of living, the light of the spirit gradually entered my heart, mind, and life. It is quite remarkable to see how quickly our program generates so many spiritual upheavals in so many people. I would not wish my addiction bottom on anyone, but I am so thankful that it brought me to a hell that lead me to place of spiritual willingness. I no longer fear the future, because I know God will be there waiting for me. Where I used to freak out about life issues, I now see these difficulties as an avenue for some spiritual experience or emotional growth. Spirituality and belief in God are a very personal thing, but for me, it has brought this once troubled soul a sense of peace I never thought possible.
Have a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourself and to others.
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October 13th
In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimensionâfreedom under God as we understand Him.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 283
No one wants to admit defeat, yet this concept of surrender is vital to our recovery. Our first 3 steps â âI canât, he can, so let him,â are the foundation of our sobriety. Until we fully accept our disease, we canât erase those reservations that draw so many of us back to the hell of our addiction. The 12&12 on page 23, tells us to go back into our drinking histories to see the progressive nature of our disease. When we do this, it becomes crystal clear that we were in the depths of a progressive affliction and our lives were falling apart around us (unmanageability). The war against our disease is over; we lost! By surrendering and admitting to our innermost selves that we are alcoholics, we pave the way for a life free of alcohol. We then learn that making a daily surrender to a power greater than ourselves can become a design for living and way of facing life issues. Starting my day off with a simple surrender to God has made my life so much easier to live. A daily surrender reminds me that I only have today, and even in my worst moments, I can get through today. I love that we identify as alcoholics at meetings, because this is a very verbal and public surrender to alcoholism. Through the simple act of âstop fighting everything and surrendering my will to God,â I have been graced with a beautiful life.
Have a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourselves and to others.
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October 14th
âIt is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.â***
Helen Keller
I heard in the program that we are what we think; we are what we do; and we are what we feel. What we think and what we do are completely up to us. How we feel is determined by what we think and what we do. So, our state of being is really up to us and the choices we make. Unfortunately, especially for the alcoholic, our brains are hard wired to think pessimistically or to dwell on trivial negatives. One of the best features of our program and sponsorship is that much needed filter, which we can call upon to deflate those thoughts of self-pity or despair. When I get panicked calls from sponsees or others, it inevitably erodes into a self pity session for something that usually hasnât even happened yet. Donât bleed before youâre wounded! When I hear those projected fears, I have always liked the response, âQuit picking on my friends.â Donât believe everything you think; we are our own worst enemy. Chances are, whatever youâre thinking hasnât happened yet, or is some regret of the past that canât be changed, only accepted. When we clear up our own thought process, we are able to be of maximum service to others. By clearing my mind, I am better able to make âothersâ feel seen, heard and supported. We donât always remember everything someone says, but we usually remember the emotion they evoked. Today, we can leave a trail of hope, and all we have to do is be kind to ourselves and others.
Have a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourselve and to each other.
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October 15th
âWhen we act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year. Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen.â
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 91
They say if you speak in anger, you will make the best speech you will ever regret. So true! When we were drinking, we had no filter in what we were saying, and usually, others would be the subject of our hurtful words or actions. It is disturbing to reflect back on the immeasurable damage I inflicted on relationships with those around me by speaking in anger or without thought. It takes years to build trust, but we can burn it down in a day. It takes considerable time and continued living amends to restore the trust we lose after our unbridled and destructive temper erupts. It would be so much easier to ask God to remove the anger when it arises, and to do a quick 4th step in our head. Asking God is usually enough, but seeing our part in conflict is liberating. We have so many tools at our disposal to manage our emotions, but still, we often have to walk through some pain before we gain the willingness to use them. The wide spread use of technology in social situations and business has presented even more challenges. One of the things I learned as I was rising up the ranks, was the importance of restraint. I knew my first thought or action in any conflict was generally not good, so holding onto emails, letters, texts, etc., was always the wise action to take. It was also imperative to get second opinions before hitting âsend,â which is one of the reasons God created sponsors and fellowship friends. We are all so blessed to have a program that guides us away from further conflict and towards peace of mind.
Have a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourself and to others.
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October 16th
"No one at the gym, at work, in my neighborhood, or even in church had ever put their hand out to me. In AA, it happened every day." "Falling Apart on the Inside,"
Trenton, New Jersey, April 2005, No Matter What: Dealing with Adversity in Sobriety
As I would be there for you, there are so many in the program that I know would be there for me. When we say that we would literally do anything for others, we arenât just paying lip service to this vital principle and act of kindness. Helping and extending ourselves to others is not only essential to our recovery, it is the key to our happiness. We give and help, because we must, but that is transcended by the limitless benefits we receive in life by merely acting on the behalf of others rather than ourselves. This altruistic life in which we give with no expectation of anything in return becomes a part of whom we are and how we approach life. Keeping score only leads to failed expectations and frustration, but sadly, we have to experience this shallowness to see the cost of our selfishness. Expectations are resentments under construction! From the very first day in the program, you have been teaching me to give it away in order to keep it. To this day, I am still in awe of the immediate care and kindness we find in the rooms of AA. Complete strangers greet you with a warm handshake, hug or a smile. You hear, âWelcome home,â âCome in and have a cup of coffee,â âI love you brother,â or any of other welcoming salutations we regularly experience. These are sentiments we rarely get outside the rooms, but if we do, chances are that it is coming from another program person. I didnât believe it when I heard in early sobriety that you never have to be alone again, but now that I have been here a while, I find much peace knowing youâre always there whenever I need it.
have a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourself and to others.
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Morning Mr Ed, always here for you my brother. We all have our part to play. Have a great day 
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Glad you fixed the word âmorning.â Had me worried there for a minute Paul. 
itâs a beautiful thing to see you doing well. Keep up the good work my friend. It may not be easy but I promise itâs worth it. 
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October 17th
"My perception of any situation is in my control â I have a choice about which way my mind will react. I try my best to look for positive solutions; I take my problems to my sponsor or I let my friends at a meeting know what is going on inside me."
âHow the Universe Works,â Pinellas Park, Florida, November 2006, No Matter What: Dealing with Adversity in Sobriety.
I heard in early sobriety that, âThe mind is like a bad neighborhood; you never want to go in there alone.â My life was a mess, so I knew my thought process was broken. However, growing up in a dysfunctional family, I was programmed on self reliance for survival. When you canât depend on those you need to trust, such as parents, one canât help but to build walls around emotions, and ultimately, overly cynical reactions to the difficult world around us. For survival, human nature will build mental defense mechanisms to protect you from painful situations. In so doing, we create unhealthy filters in which we see the world. These dirty filters distort reality, and as life becomes more uncomfortable, we think we have no choice but to blot out our anguish with alcohol or other fixes. Then, we enter a new existence in the rooms of AA, and we are directed to unload the baggage of life, those âcauses and conditionsâ mentioned in our book. This is an endeavor we canât possibly handle on our own, so we begin to trust another person, our sponsor. There are many roles of a sponsor, but assisting someone to unpack their lifeâs baggage, most notably by taking us through the steps, is one of the more profound responsibilities. Additionally, sponsors, and others close to us in the program, give us a cleaner perspective on issues. A second or third opinion is so desperately necessary for our âworst case scenarioâ minds. I canât always see clearly what may lay ahead, but I now have an army of loving advisors that can help me navigate troubled waters. Through you, I see life so much clearly, and the longer I stay sober, the more beautiful life becomes.
Have a beautiful day in sobriety and remember to be kind to yourself and to others.
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classic, Iâve got a book where I write great sayings I hear from my sponsor or in meetings so that when I become a sponsor I have got loads of sober ammunition, thatâs straight in the book. Thank you Mr Ed. Have a great day
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sorry to derail your thread but this hit home with me today. Iâm very soon going to be starting my step 4 and already had my doubts bc I too have built a non emotional shell around my past, I do not live there and I donât sit on it brooding but I definitely donât want anyone to crack it of fear of what might come out. Iâve read the 12 and 12 to get a better insight and obviously as always I have my own page 
, We all think we are so different but we are really not. Anyway I spoke to my sponsor about how I donât hold grudges and I donât carry resentments but you can imagine what he said, if I am truly convinced of steps 1, 2 and 3 and willing to hand myself over to a power greater than myself then weâll do step 4 anyway shall we, heâs a great man and I guess I better be ready to have my eyes opened.
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Glad to hear youâre progressing to step four Paul. Your first column you want to list all of your resentments. Nothing is too small. I too am working the four step with my new sponsor just finishing it actually, getting ready for my fifth step. I really enjoyed doing the fourth and fifth step now. when you get it completed Paul youâll feel weight lifted off your shouldersand youâll feel a New freedom like youâve never had before. Itâs a spiritual experience if you will. Like my sponsor asks me âhow free do you want to be.â Nothing is too small or insignificant to list. I know youâll do fine Paul on your fourth step and even come to enjoy it because youâll feel so much better afterwards.
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lol 
I used to think the same thing my friend till I got brutally honest with myself.
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Iâm concerned for the mental wellbeing of my sponsor, he may well need therapy after sifting through my life. Funnily enough I was talking to my best mate of over 30 years and he said heâs watched my whole life and is really proud of me bc most people would crumble and yet I still remain optimistic and carry on smiling. Thatâs the third person this week to say they were proud of me the other 2 were my daughters, anyway I think when you are the one in it you donât consider it a hard life you just know you have lived and it makes you grateful for the little things in life. I never take clean socks and a warm pillow for granted, might sound silly but imagine a life without them.
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Youâre going to do fine Paul. I have faith in you. You have come a long way my friend. Enjoy the the steps to a new freedom and have faith in your higher power and all will turn out well if youâre willing to do whatever it takes, following directions from your sponsor to stay clean and sober and I know you are willing because clean socks and a warm pillow are nice things to have
P. S. Check out Joe and Charlieâs four-step on YouTube.
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October 18th
"One of the truly great gifts in this Fellowship of mutually concerned people is the gift of the art of listening ⌠But our need to listen goes beyond meetings and talks with friends ⌠We need Step Eleven and our greater conscious contact with the Divine Listener. Then will our serenity emerge; then will our help to others have quality."
âWhere the Words Come Fromâ, May 1960, Spiritual Awakenings
Only through the program have I been able to learn and appreciate the art of listening. You also taught me that there is âlisteningâ and there is âhearing.â Sometimes, hearing what the person is trying to say is just as, if not more important than, the words themselves. In early sobriety, listening was all I was capable of doing. I was far too insecure to share at meetings, and without alcohol, social situations were awkward at best. But as we gain our self esteem and confidence, the flood gates of our suppressed thoughts come flowing out. Getting it out is vital to our recovery, and the more we share, the less power it has over us. However, we must also learn to listen at meetings or any conversation in general. For the whirlwind of the alcoholic mind, listening is a struggle. When we listen to our sponsor or shares at meetings without letting the debate or rebuttal in our head take over our thoughts, words from others take on new meanings. I often enter meetings saying to myself, âI will not share today,â so that I can fully appreciate the recovery that unfolds from the programâs language of the heart. As a sponsor, I know the best thing I can do at times is to just listen, and to let the person get it off their chest, or to come to some solution on their own. Another vital piece of recovery and spirituality is to quiet our mind enough to hear or see Godâs subtle messages. They say meditation is listening to God, and this is something that I truly believe and have experienced. By learning to listen, I have become so much better at serving others, and this is a beautiful and loving gift of the program.
Have a beautiful day in sobriety my friends and remember to be kind to yourself and to others.
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Just thinking of you Paul, hope you have a great day my friend. lol
P. S. I borrowed this one from @Dragonflygirl82 Couldnât resist sharing with you.
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Big day today, when I get out of bed this morning I will drop to my knees totally in acceptance of the step 3 prayer ready and willing to hand myself over to the care of God. Then and only then comes step 4. I thought I would just say yeah Iâm ready and letâs get on with it but I find myself really looking deep to see if I am being honest with myself. Is this normal that it feels like such a huge step?
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