Quote of the Day: "I have a quiet place within me where I can rest today, I have a quiet place where I can go that offers peace, comfort and healing. It is as close as this moment… as close as a breath. This place is mine whenever I want it."
Ruth Fishel
Before the program, if someone told me that I could have a quiet mind and a peaceful heart, I would have told them that pigs will fly before that ever happens. The chaos in my brain was nonstop, and I certainly never felt at ease about anything without the help of a social lubricant. When I realized I was walking around life three drinks shy of comfortable, I crossed that invisible line into an oblivion that we know all too well. I had no idea that I had a serious spiritual malady or void, nor did I believe spirituality would be the answer to my drinking or life discontent. The fellowship not only guided me through the deep chasm between active addiction and recovery, it guided me toward a spirituality that would give me a life beyond anything I could have hoped. As we take the steps, and shed all those spiritual blockages we had been carrying, we begin to feel glimpses of an unknown peace and quiet within. Sadly, especially for those addicted to drama, some confuse this sense of contentment in life as boredom. For me, I’ll take contentment over that crazy roller coaster. It is such a blessing in life to be able to quiet the mind enough to appreciate what we have today, rather than obsess about what we didn’t get yesterday, or we may want tomorrow.
Quote of the Day: "The unselfishness of these men as we have come to know them, the entire absence of profit motive, and their community spirit, is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and wearily in this alcoholic field. They believe in themselves, and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. xxvii
Our fellowship is nothing short of remarkable, and it has rewritten the approach to the disease of alcoholism. Alcoholics for centuries were seen as incurable moral delinquents destined for a pitiful existence and total insanity. The structure of AA goes against any principle of organizational management, yet it has grown into one of the largest and most successful organizations on the planet. There have been many times in my sobriety that I have wondered if it was all divine intervention. How could a book be so healing and relevant across generations and cultures? Why is AA so successful where medicine had failed so miserably? Whatever the case, I now feel like we have been chosen to carry the message to others. The miracle of recovery transcends all aspects of life, and if we commit to applying these principles in all of our affairs, we are virtually guaranteed a better life. When life becomes “being of service,” an amazing transformation occurs deep within us. Adding to others lives, rather than just taking, is so much more rewarding and fulfilling. The spirit in our fellowship is all pervasive and inspiring to all who allow this undeniable energy to flow in and through us.
Quote of the Day: "My soul remained a mystery until my Higher Power settled inside me, appearing to me as a very real feeling of love and caring. Kindness slowly took precedence, and I became comfortable with the idea that I didn’t need a drink.”
“From Rags to Riches,” Cornwall, Ontario, January 2005, Voices of Long-Term Sobriety
When I think back at how much self-loathing overwhelmed me before the program, it’s hard for me to even recognize that sad and lonely existence. Ironically, I walked around life with a tough exterior and persona of confidence, but on the inside, I was dying! I related so much when I heard in our rooms that “we are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex.” Seeing life through low self esteem creates a darkness about virtually everything. Falling into the abyss of self pity came so easily; I wallowed in it even though there were angels all around me trying to show me how to climb out of that hole of my own creation. It took me months in recovery before I started to become comfortable looking people in the eye. It’s no mystery I couldn’t face others, because I couldn’t even look at myself. I literally avoided mirrors. As the light of the spirit entered my heart, my perspective began to change. The occasional stutter that haunted me slowly faded away. The overwhelming bad memories that had so much power over me were finally being processed in a healthy way. As I shed all that baggage, I was able to build my confidence and self awareness. Now, when I meet a broken newcomer that can’t look anyone in the eye, I see this as a golden opportunity to give back what was so freely given to me. Loving a newcomer back to health is a gift to them, but an even greater gift to us and the legacy of our fellowship.
Quote of the Day: "My perception of any situation is in my control – I have a choice about which way my mind will react. I try my best to look for positive solutions; I take my problems to my sponsor or I let my friends at a meeting know what is going on inside me."
“How the Universe Works,” Pinellas Park, Florida, November 2006, No Matter What: Dealing with Adversity in Sobriety
Before the program and living the steps, being able to see life as it really was with any semblance of a healthy perspective was nonexistent for me. I saw life through faulty filters I had created to compensate for a very dysfunctional upbringing. I felt doomed to a life of despair and hopelessness, and the only temporary relief came from the bottle. As I reflect back, it’s clear to me that the dirty filters I manifested kept me from seeing the world and others as they truly are. Because our perceptions become our reality, my reality was jaded by my own twisted thinking. Coming into the program, we learn we are responsible and accountable for our thoughts and actions. However, reshaping how we think requires an honest commitment to the steps and process outlined in our program. Once we clear away the wreckage of our past (clean our dirty filters), our perceptions of life can become much more positive. It is cathartic once we clearly see that we can’t possibly have a positive life with a negative mind. A negative person looks for difficulties in every opportunity; a positive person looks for opportunities in every difficulty. I know I will only be as happy as I allow myself to be, and for me to find lasting contentment, I must live in hope, acceptance, and gratitude of each day.
Quote of the Day: "In despair, I had cried out, ‘Now I am willing to do anything. If there is a God, will he show himself?’ And he did. This was my first conscious contact, my first awakening. I asked from the heart, and I received."
AA Co-Founder, Bill W., July 1960, The Language of the Heart
All of us have had at least one very significant spiritual experience, and that was when we asked for help or walked into the hallowed rooms of our beloved program. Very few of us will ever experience the room filling with white light, like it did for our founder Bill Wilson, but that hasn’t prevented us from having a profound spiritual journey with the same outcome. I’m glad that Bill had such a spontaneous and significant spiritual experience, but part of me wishes he would have not written about it. Far too many of our members are waiting for the burning bush or a similar incident, and they judge their experiences against the one Bill had. For me, I’ve come to understand and appreciate that it’s the small things in life that seem to matter the most. Throughout the day, I get constant reminders of God’s grace and gifts to us all. If you let it, life itself can become a spiritual experience. Opening our eyes, mind, and heart to the world around us when in a state of gratitude changes our entire perspective on life. I am so thankful the program encourages me to be open to all things spiritual, and through this open mindedness, I find a remarkable way to see and experience life. Today, I know if I try to walk with God, I will always find my true destination.
Quote of the Day: "I’ve got a brand new feeling, gratitude – a feeling that has visited me more and more frequently – sometimes with the rush of cleansing tears – sometimes with just a serene flow of mental thank-you’s for some small, God-given bonus in a routine day."
“A Rush of Gratitude,” Minneapolis, Minnesota, April 1983, Spiritual Awakenings
When I was in my active addiction, “gratitude” was not exactly in my vocabulary. The most I could hope for were moments of temporary satisfaction surrounded by a lot of sadness and despair. I was controlled by anger, fear, and self-pity, which was a miserable way to live a pathetic life. In early sobriety, it was easy to gain some degree of gratitude for just being able to stop the nightmare of addiction. However, as the honeymoon wound down, and life issues unfolded, I started to slip back into those negative emotions that tortured me for so long. Writing gratitude lists, going to meetings, and hearing shares of hope helped get me out of my funk. However, for me, the best thing that has always brought me back to a place of gratitude has been helping others. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly I can change my mood by simply being of service. It works every time, and that is not an exaggeration. An old timer at one of my home groups (he passed at 102 years old with 46 years of sobriety) often said, “The joy of living, is the joy of giving!” There are so many gifts the program has given us, but none greater than the inspiration to give yourself to others. Today, I am so grateful for so many things, and most are merely those small blessings that just make me smile or give me hope.
Quote of the Day: "When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a little on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple in the cloud color.” I don’t try to control a sunset, I watch it with awe as it unfolds."
-Carl Rogers-
Accepting ourselves and life’s imperfections is an amazing gift of our fellowship. Before the program, we perceived life in a negative skeptical way, or we just missed priceless moments entirely. We selfishly wandered through life wallowing in our own self-pity. The most selfish packages in the world are active alcoholics all wrapped up in themselves! As we engage in our pilgrimage towards spirituality and faith, our perceptions and attitudes also evolve. We start to see things that we ignored or never noticed, like family chatter around the dinner table, or a child’s laughter off in the distance. The sky literally gets bluer, and food even tastes better. We begin to look for the good in situations and people rather than always trying to find the negative. We realize that “control” is an illusion destined for a state of frustration and disappointment. There is a great deal of freedom knowing we can’t change people, places, and things, and finally accepting them as they are. We all have our own personal journey through life, and it would be selfish of us to not let others find their own path, pain and all. Today, I try to come from a place of “acceptance,” and through this simple mindset, life becomes a landscape of God’s masterpiece.
Quote of the Day: "Regardless of what happened before or what may happen tomorrow, what is the very best thing I can possibly do, right now?"
“A Life Without Problems,” Santa Monica, California, May 2007, No Matter What: Dealing with Adversity in Sobriety
Our current situation does not control our future; it is only a starting point for something better. There are no endings, just new beginnings that spring up from the endless well of hope in our fellowship. The more I let my mind take me to the past or the future, the less I have time to appreciate today. How often do we miss opportunities to express our love towards others, simply because we aren’t in the moment? I hope I never miss another sunset, opportunity to laugh, or see the wonder of life, because my head is elsewhere. When I focus on the here and now, I always seem to accomplish more and procrastinate less. I know that what I do today can become the seeds of tomorrow, but I also know I’m no longer in charge of the results and outcome. If it doesn’t go my way, as it usually doesn’t, I’ve learned to fall back into faith and trust that God’s plan for me has always been better than my own. They say that, “Today is a gift, and that’s why they call it the present.” I’m so thankful that the program has guided me to a place in which I can cherish each moment, and appreciate each blessing life has to offer.
Quote of the Day: "At a time when people are so conscious of maintaining their physical health by controlling their diets, exercising and so forth, it makes sense to try to cultivate the corresponding positive mental attitudes too."
The Dalai Lama
The original circle and triangle was an ancient symbol that represented mind, body, and spirit. In sobriety, I have adopted the essence of this ancient proposal. For “mind,” I read or write something program oriented daily. The morning reflection text began when I wanted to encourage others to read something program each day. We may not read a book or email every day, but we’ll read a text! From early sobriety, the commitment to “body” has been critical to my program and so many others. When we suddenly have to fill free time and burn off energy, working out becomes a perfect outlet. With that said, body can be anything physical, such as yoga, stretching, or going for a walk. “Spirit” is prayer and meditation. Cultivating our spirituality is a personal odyssey, but our fellowship and steps are a wonderful mechanism to guide us. Spirituality comes in many forms, including how we interact with others on a daily basis. Are you giving to someone’s life, or are you just taking away what you want? Practicing mind, body, and spirit are essential to finding balance in life, and an incredible way to create a positive attitude within recovery.
Quote of the Day: "I have learned silence from the talkative; tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. I should not be ungrateful to those teachers."
Kahlil Gibran
Life would be easy if we were dealt all aces, but we would never learn anything. For most people, especially alcoholics, we have to learn things the hard way. Walking through life experiences are the best teachers we have, but we usually bang the high chair and throw our sippy cup if things don’t go our way. Challenging and difficult experiences can become the portal to self awareness and healing introspection, but we fight it every step. We say we are open to learning, but are we open to being taught? Another pitfall to learning is the illusion of knowledge; it’s impossible to learn something you think you already know. Stubbornness, and the persistence to be right, can cut off the pursuit of finding truth quicker than any of our other character defects. No one likes to make mistakes or be wrong, but until we accept this fact of life, we can grow no further. The people that never make mistakes are the people that never have the courage to succeed. My life began when I got sober at 50, and my learning and accepting of life lessons commenced at that time too. Everything I’ve learned to find lasting happiness in life, I learned in our fellowship. As Albert Einstein once said, “Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything they learned in school.
Quote of the Day: "Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes."
Etty Hillesum
The lifestyle of someone in their active addiction is frenetic at best. We were never in the moment, and the pursuit of numbing out was a constant chase. We gave ourselves no opportunity to appreciate the small blessings in life, which also meant that gratitude was practically nonexistent. Removing the chemicals from our body enabled us to slow everything down. For me, it was as if I was finally able to come up for air. I was drowning in unbridled self-pity, fear, and anger, so slowing my life down allowed much needed introspection. At a meeting I went to in early sobriety, they had a 10-minute segment for meditation that started with two deep cleansing breaths. There was something magical about inhaling and holding it for a couple seconds, and then exhaling slowly and completely. Adopting this exercise became a regular habit, and this pause allowed those things that are worthwhile in life to catch up to me. We are also encouraged to seek relief through prayer from fear (future tripping), resentment, or any of our character defects that inhibit our happiness. Taking a few moments to pause and pray is usually enough to redirect our mind in a more positive way. It’s quite remarkable how a couple deep breaths, or a moment of prayer, can have such a profound impact on our lives.
Quote of the Day: "Through the vital Fifth Step, we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done. Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we’d be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too."
As Bill Sees It, Forgiveness, p. 318
When we complete our 5th step, it could potentially change us forever. We see our part in resentments that we carried for years, and we also see how our character defects were usually right in the middle of these issues. However, if we are to be truly free of our debilitating resentments, there is still work to be done. Besides admitting our part, we learn to pray for these people, and we ask God to remove this haunting anger. I have always believed that there are two final steps, and those are forgiveness and acceptance. But how do we forgive the unforgivable, such as the horrendous child abuse so many of us endured? Here is the point – forgiving is not condoning the bad behavior; it’s recognizing that we can’t carry around that cancerous hate in our heart. I refuse to let anyone have power over my serenity or happiness. Once we learn to forgive others, we begin that long journey to finally forgive ourselves, which will ultimately lead to greater acceptance of others. It took many years, but I am so grateful to the fellowship for holding my hand throughout this essential life nurturing proposition to forgive others and myself.
Quote of the Day: "How wonderful to be sober, to be able to think clearly (at times, at least), and to become aware of some portion of the greater wisdom concealed so deeply within myself."
“A New Way of Looking at Life,” Columbus, Ohio, April 1981, Voices of Long-Term Sobriety
Most of us come into the program a little nuts (NUTS – Not Using The Steps!). Certainly the way we lived our lives was insane. I was three gallons of crazy in a one-gallon bucket, and it was exhausting always having to try to clean up the mess. Sadly, our base line behavior was laced with alcohol, and our jaded thoughts and actions became our normal. Let’s face it; we are all here, because we weren’t all there. When I first got sober, I felt like I was living life upside down! What I like about the program, is that you can walk into a meeting a bit off, and the bus of sanity always comes along for us to jump on. I came into the program thinking I had permanent brain damage, but it didn’t take long for the synapses to start firing again, and for me to think more clearly. Many of us go back to school and do surprisingly well. Most of us take this new found clarity for granted, but it is a true reward of the program. By taking the steps, we are able to clear away much of the useless static and clutter in our brain. We begin to see life more clearly, and we begin to see things as they really are. We are so blessed to have a fellowship that encourages us to clear away the debris of our lives, so that we can develop the courage to become whom we really are, and were always meant to be.
Quote of the Day: "If you don’t have charity in your heart then you have the worst kind of heart disease"
Bob Hope
In our active addiction, we were completely selfish and self-centered. We may have thought we weren’t hurting anyone else, but that was ridiculous delusion. Sadly, our addiction took over every aspect of our lives and controlled every selfish moment. “Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles” (page 62). We don’t realize how true this is until we come into the program and seek truths about our old selfish behaviors. Our inventories, amends, and facing our character defects expose our selfish ways. There are two things that are hard on the heart – running up a steep hill and running over people! Coming into the program, we are so blessed to be immediately redirected to helping others. No other action does more to "relieve us of the bondage of self.” In life, what matters most is not what you can carry in your hands, but what you can carry in your heart. The gradual transformation from a “selfish taker” to a “loving giver” is essential to our sobriety and our happiness. So, yes, we now have charity in our hearts, and that is all a result of a firm commitment to our loving fellowship.
Quote of the Day: "If the Fourth Step is the exploration of an abandoned house, I have come to think of the Fifth Step as raising the blinds and throwing open the windows. The house has air and sunlight now, and it’s no longer haunted. When people come to the door, I can welcome them without shame, and I can even invite them in. Some rooms are private of course, but none are secret, and I live in all of them.”
AA Grapevine, May 1999
The rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous are filled with stories of traumatic pasts. Some are worse than others, but we all have issues that need to be faced and mitigated to the best extent possible. Our book tells us that alcohol was only a symptom of our disease; we need to get down to the causes and conditions (paraphrased from page 64). The causes and conditions are all the baggage we process in taking steps 4-10. We learn that all the debris we carry into the program are spiritual blockages keeping us from a maximum conscious contact with God. Our steps are the best tool to process our baggage, but we have so many others. We can share with our sponsors our innermost secrets, we can write God letters, or we can share at meetings, to name only a few methods. But, by far the most healing action we can take outside of the steps is helping others navigate through the baggage of their past. No one wants to experience difficulties in life, but these experiences can ultimately help us guide others through similar challenges. The final stage to any acceptance is being able to share your experience, strength, and hope with someone else.
Quote of the Day: “The foundation stone of freedom from fear is that of faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary, causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense.”
"AA Co-Founder, Bill W., January 1962, “This Matter of Fear”, Best of Bill
The reason it is so important to face our fears in our inventories is to free us to become the best version of ourselves. Our fears can control us and prohibit us from moving forward. If we let our fears control our actions, we become unwilling to “try” out of unrealistic apprehension of potential failure. We are only a failure if we don’t try, or we blame someone else for our own plight. Worrying about the future puts us in a restrained box that limits our growth and keeps us from maximizing today. Alcoholics are experts on magnifying the debilitating nature of future tripping (fear). Our projections of the future are always beyond worst case scenario, but in reality, not once in my many years of sobriety have my fears of the future ever actually happened! The money thing worked out, I wasn’t demoted or fired from the job, my wife didn’t leave me, etc. As Mark Twain once said, “I’ve had many tragedies in my life, and some of them actually happened.” More often than not, the actual outcome of my fear turns out to be so much better than I could have ever imagined. God’s plan for me has always been better than my own, so living in faith rather than fear is critical to my happiness. Worrying about the future truly does take away from today’s peace. Besides, I shouldn’t fear tomorrow, because I know God will be there waiting for me when I get there.
Quote of the Day: “Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels. If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for. The more we seek gratitude, the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to exist in our lives.”
Terry Lynn Taylor
What if we woke up today with only the things we thanked our Higher Power for yesterday? Most of us would not have much. Sadly, human nature usually defaults to the aspects of our lives that aren’t necessarily going our way. Despite good things in our lives, we still focus on the negative. Gratitude is something that rests in our heart, but the longest mile always seems to be between our heart and mind. So how do we stay grateful when our head is spinning? We can write gratitude lists, but there are so many other ways. If we focus on the here and now, we can readily see that we have everything we need. Try directing your mind to “live in gratitude” every time you wander towards self-pity. Our wants and desires drive gratitude from our heart, and they place selfishness ahead of finding true peace and serenity. We can create opportunities to be grateful simply by committing to help others, especially helping a broken newcomer. Simple gratitude is just enough to change our perspective and attitude, and this change of perspective will also change how we view life in a way we never thought possible. A positive outlook on life will make today a success and tomorrow a welcome dream.
