I’ve had quite a few relapses over the past few weeks. And I’ve noticed I’ve been avoiding SoberTime due to feeling shame and disappointment in myself. The only thing that I can do is try again, and really embody One Day At A Time.
Creating this thread in the hopes that having somewhere to check in daily will help me.
Day 1. Didn’t smoke, didn’t drink. Went grocery shopping after work instead of to the pot shop. Home now and tidying up my apartment.
That guilt and shame is the addiction trying to keep us feeling low and isolated. Glad you came back and are here with supportive peers. Day 1 is amazing friend . Looking forward to cheering you on in your journey ODAAT
Really stressful shift at work tonight. Wanting nothing more than to relax with a little weed and unwind. I’m going to try to make it through the next 20 minutes, because then the dispensary will be closed. Gonna make some food and keep from watching the clock.
You got this … cooking is great. I even just start playing games in my phone and that lets the time and urges pass for me. Whatever it takes …you don’t need that weed …one moment at a time
MADE IT. I felt some disappointment walking past the closed dispensary–I think moreso disappointed in know that if it was open, i likely would have walked in and gotten some weed. BUT the important thing is that I didn’t. I went home, played with my pet rat Linguine, caught up on some chores. Going to do some yoga, my nightly Tarot reading, and go to bed.
Got through another day. Stayed late at work again so i wouldn’t be tempted to pick up some weed. Home now, making dinner, doing laundry, taking it One Day At A Time.
What ever it takes. You are doing a grand job of avoiding the temptation by doing what needs to be done. I had to change my route home from work many a time to avoid the shops I usually stopped at. I now work from home full time and used to deliberately not buy all the things I needed for meals during the week so that I had an excuse to go to the shops after work. I would buy wine… every time.
No more. Now if I don’t buy everything I need then I eat whatever odd combinations are available. Hello hashbrowns and mozerella sticks one night last week!
Here is to another clean and sober 24 hours for us!
Like Fiona said… whatever it takes …we just have to keep ourselves busy and away from triggers/ temptations. You are doing a fantastic job! We are here if you need support over the weekend. Hope you have a wonderful day
Approaching Day 4. Really wanting to smoke. Not even for any particular reason, I’m just feeling the cravings. Going to try to stay late at work again tonight. I’m worried for the weekend…thats usually when I slip up. I’ll need to find something to do to keep me occupied.
How’s it going? Glad you are trying to keep yourself busy and not give into the cravings. The cravings will pass.
What did you have planned for today? The weekends or days with idle times are hardest…best to find things to keep yourself occupied. We can keep pushing forward
Slept pretty much all day today. I was so exhausted, don’t even really know why. I think the lack of sunlight plus overall stress of the holidays just sucks the energy out of me.
Plan for the rest of today: wrapping Christmas gifts, cleaning up the apartment, take a bath because some old injuries have been acting up.
Earlier in my sobriety I was super exhausted all the time. It’s your body detoxing and doing all the work to heal. Glad you were able to get some rest.
Sounds like a lovely day… hope you are enjoying your Monday
Day 5. Slept in late. Went into work for a couple of hours to fix something, even though it was my day off, mostly so that i would have something to do with my time. Cleaned my entire apartment, including my rat’s enclosure. Chatted for a while with a very dear longtime friend of mine.
Cravings are hitting me hard. Even thinking about it makes my mouth water, and i feel disgusted with myself for being an addict… Just gotta get through the next couple of hours.
Best thing I found in the early days when the cravings hit was to jump on an online meeting. Just hearing it in the background while I cleaned the kitchen or tidied my office was enough to calm my mind and get through the rough patch.
I know the feeling of disgust at being an addict. What works for me is the AA way of thinking that this is a disease and I have a defective gene or whatever it is that makes me different. I would not be hard on someone with MS, Cancer or any other life changing disease so I can be kind to myself while I figure out how to live with this disease. You can do this Reese! No doubt about it
It’s been 8 hours since you wrote. How are you doing? Hope you were able to find something to do and keep the cravings at bay
Some say a super cold or a very hot shower is helpful. For me it’s finding something else to do and think about (sometimes doing multiple things like watching TV and playing games on my phone for instance) so that you don’t have time to think about the urges.