@BloodyMary my danger hours are between 5pm -9pm as well. After 9pm, it’s like the urge suddenly disappears and I’d rather just sleep! I feel like it’s too late at that point.
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@Anthony funny isn’t it??!! If I’m getting urges again I’m gonna focus on making it to 9 o clock.
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@Megatron please don’t say you hate yourself! As you probably read I fucked up too! Try and look at why you did it and plan what you’ll do next time. We are all here for you! Don’t worry about your son, he’s at that age when he will be doing stuff like that. My son is nearly 20 and he had crazy phases but is now starting to settle down and has a good job. I’m sure you are a fantastic mum. Sending you love and strength 
Have you seen this??
@Rikk @BloodyMary thanks so much for you advice and kind words! I’m annoyed cos I consciously decided to fuck it all off and buy booze. I was sad, stressed and wanted to number my brain before bedtime.
Seeing my son so shambolic was a wake up call though. I know it’s normal at his age but it made me realise how I must look! Not a good look on a 42 year old!
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@Megatron - Hey Meg… if it’s any help, I got sober when I was 42, a month before I turned 43. You can do this; you can become another living, breathing miracle. Don’t be too tough on yourself… it’s all part of the learning process. But, if a hopeless drunk like me can live life in recovery, anyone can.
Bestest of best wishes to you.
Andy 
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@BloodyMary Have a good day as well. Mine is just starting here. Stay strong, you’ve got this! 
Hope you had fun at the gym!
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@Megatron @BloodyMary
I hope you two are having a better day today…
I just dont want to see you beating yourselves up over these things your dealing with.
Because you are dealing with them the best way you possibly can and with everything youve got!
try not to use words like “I fucked up” “I screwed up” “I cant do this” “I hate my life or I hate myself” or "I failed"
they wont do you any good and they just help to bring you down even more.
I know its not easy. trust me, especially in this world today when we are taught to use these phrases when we make mistakes,we are taught to beat ourselves over the head when things happen…sometimes out of our control.
Smile 
feel good that you have the right mind to even attempt to do what your doing…think back on a time you didnt even care enough to try.
im sure youll find that you have come a long way since then!
Stay strong!!
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