Relapse after 90 days 😕

Relapses
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Sorry to hear that @Karo. Back in the saddle now; back on the journey.

I understand the feeling of being bored. I feel that way too. Boredom is a learning experience I suppose. I don’t have any advice about that, but I wanted to say I understand what you’re going through.

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9

Thank you Matt, I will need to Work in that boredome sensation…I mean I dont even really understand it, my days are packed, weekends as Well, and I literally cant sit on my a** half an hour enjoying the relax. Instantly feeling bored, lonely. Thats ridiculous.

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10

It’s not ridiculous. It’s very common among people with ADHD. Restlessness and feeling as though you are being driven by a motor in your mind, always moving forward, never stopping. My mind is exactly the same.

It would be worth visiting your doctor to ask for an ADHD assessment. About 5% of humans have ADHD and it is equally distributed across genders and races.

It’s also worth learning about living with ADHD. One excellent source is the ADHD couple ADHD_love (the wife has ADHD and is a recovering alcoholic; the husband does not have ADHD):

These books (by reliable, research-informed ADHD specialists) are good too. Many of them are available in audiobook form:

ADHD is a gift, but it’s like owning a Lamborghini. Not everyone knows how to drive that car to its full potential. It takes learning and practice.

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11

For a while now I have been doing some research and also came up with this possibility, all of it fits so perfectly…i tend to get super highly focused, like a machine. Its so tiring Matt, like I never come to peace. Alcohol helped me numb that feeling of restlessness, boredome, crazy drive. Thank you so much for the great tipps, I will give that issue some more Attention, i think its a big part of the problem…

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And yes it absolutely feels like a gift, i feel like I could just do anything, but at the same time so overwhelmed, seeking relief in alcohol :confused: so confusing.

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This is called “hyperfocus” or “ADHD hyperfocus” - look it up and you will find many, many sources. (The ADHD_love channel talks about that too.)

I would say it is a big part of the solution. ADHD brains and people can do things non-ADHD brains cannot. Is it easy? No. But it is a fact, and it is a state of mind that we can use to thrive and live rich lives. I wrote about that here:

(It is also helpful for your parenting. One or more of your kids very likely has ADHD, just like you. It is helpful to help them see their unique capabilities as they grow into their teen and adult years. They will learn to see it with understanding instead of shame.)

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That’s normal. I know it’s exhausting. It does not go away, but you do learn to live respectfully with it :upside_down_face: :innocent:

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I do have an appointment with my 15yo daughter for ADHS Testing, I do have a feeling shes struggling with this condition…I believe you can achieve extraordinary goals with the condition, I made my Pilot licence in 1 years, was so driven, like crazy. As soon as the goal is achieved, or the thrill and dopamine ist gone, feeling drained again. I assume the lack of the thrill, edgy experience, lead me to the relapse. But I dont know any more where to get the thrill from. I started doing aircraft acrobatics, but I actually just wanna be able to relax and not feel that thrive for thrill and dopamine kick any more :confused:

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Went yesterday to lake with the aim to relax, calm down and realizing, ive been changing Activity in 3 minute tact- sit, lay down, swim, smoke, book 1, book 2, Music, WhatsApp, nap… couldnt take it an more.

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Don’t give up!

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18

Thank you, reaching day 1 again :person_facepalming:

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Day one here too. :blush:

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Prioritising your health I feel has a huge connection to remaining sober I have found. Joing a gym is a great idea and finding hobbies you enjoy to help with the boredom is a huge help. We live and learn.

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21

Yes.

Your life and your success in recovery will be directly related to your success in living constructively with your ADHD.

You need to figure that out and develop your personal system for living creatively constructively with your ADHD. Figure out an organic, evolving system for it and you will succeed

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hi @Karo how are you feeling today

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23

Hey…not so very well, having massive cravings…

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Best of luck Karo anything I can do please reach out I’m starting my journey from the start also again

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You can do this. Suggest take a walk, listen to music and don’t forget to breathe!

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Hi @karo I’ve only just seen your post are you ok what’s going on now :palm_up_hand:

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I’ve been sober for 6 years and if u need a friend I’m here like really I don’t have many friends neither

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