You did it because you have an addiction. 
We all do. That’s how addictions work - they sneak in like a snake and convince you that “oh it’s ok - it’ll be good - just do it”. Then - we always regret it later. It’s not a logical thing; it’s an addiction.
This probably means you need a new tool. Have you tried a group yet? That daily (or at least regular) connection makes a big difference for many people.
There’s other options here too, like SMART Recovery, or Dharma Recovery. (AA is one of the most common worldwide though, you’re never far from a meeting.)
You can also find meetings online:
Take care, take it one day at a time (with an open mind), keep reaching out, and never give up.