Oh man.
I thought I would be able to moderate what I drank.
I had managed to stay cleaned for so long, and thought that I could have a few drinks to celebrate my dad’s birthday. Next thing knew it was 7am and I had no idea where I was.
If anything this is a lesson that I cannot drink at all…
I feel ashamed of myself and my actions, but now it’s back on the wagon. It’s the only way forward.
Welcome back, glad you made it back. One more reminder not to play with fire 
What’s your plan? You gonna visit some meetings? Spend more time here?
Hi Matt,
Thanks for your reply. I will spend sometime on here first until I feel like I can leave the house. Then maybe a meeting. I never really kept up with the meetings the last time and think that’s why I convinced myself I could drink…
I had to learn that lesson as well, sober since.
Had 5 years of sober time when I tested the waters. Sober for even longer now and decided this is my way of living.
No drinking, no moderation.
I’m fine.
Glad you are here and survived it.
Get yourself into recovery action modus is all you can do and you just did by getting here! 
Try not to beat yourself up too much. We all fall into that trap, unfortunately. But it’s what you do now that really matters - new day, new chances, and, honestly, you wouldn’t have reached out if you didn’t want to recover.
We’re always here if you need support or a chat. Honestly, I’m so so grateful for this group. They’ve saved my behind more than once! But do you have anyone in person you can reach out to?
One quote I like is: “One drink is too much, and a thousand is never enough.”
Unfortunately, moderation is just not possible, IMO.
Good luck mate. Keep us updated.
Thanks everyone.
I found it very strange how I was able to convince myself i could. When I think about it, I was in denial. When I look over the last 4 and a half months, everything was going great, and convinced myself it must be ok now as things are going great. When really this is the trap. I started to believe that I was no longer an addict. But in reality, I will always be one.
Hey Change, I just relapsed over the weekend. I just wanted to jump into say, I am sure you are full of anxiety and regret (I know am), but that is temporary, you have shown yourself you can be happy and live a fulfilling life.
I am proud of you today and any other day!
Much love
Hey buddy
Back here at 4 days, so I’ve been there too.
I can’t moderate. I’m just hoping I don’t have to prove that to myself ever again…
One question for you to think about - had you told your dad about the extent of your addiction, or desire for sobriety. I find the more people I am able to be honest with, the more my life settles into its new place. A mistake I made this time was not telling certain people (in business) that I am now sober. That’s something I’m fixing.
Stay here and ODAAT
Hi James83,
I haven’t told him everything. I think he just thinks I can get out of hand every now and again but I don’t think he understands to what extent. I think I need to be more honest with more people.
Even my partner sometimes thinks that I can drink sometimes and I am fine and other times I am not. But I don’t think she even understands how serious it is. There is no one around me who is sober and I think I am almost like an alien when I say I have to stop.
I feel like going sober is the only way forward. I need to stop fighting the idea that I can moderate. The problem has only continued to get worse over the years. Only recently have I had a few friends talk to me about it. Which is nice.
I just want to feel ok. My recently sober period was great. My anxiety levels dropped. My life was back in track. It’s amazing how one decision can put you right back to where you were.
Your journey to realisation sounds a lot like mine.
Most of my friends and colleagues drink regularly and sometimes to excess. I, like them, took this as “normal” for 20 years… until I started to realise it wasn’t.
Now, I know it isn’t normal. I also know it isn’t for me. So why can’t I just tell everyone that and be done with it? Well… I’ve started and will continue to do that.
I’m luckily in that my wife barely drinks and she most definitely did think I had a problematic relationship with alcohol. Was the cause of most of our arguments! It’s great now that is not the case.
You’re not the alien, people who normalize consumption of alcohol are. As a society, we look down on people who use certain drugs while we glamorize others and it’s just silly. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are the odd one out for choosing a sober life!
I, too, was 4.5 months sober when I learned this lesson back in 2020. One night, I had just one drink(really). It led to 3 the next night, and a full-blown blackout the following afternoon. Less than 48 hours before ending up right where I left off. Crazy how it works that way, but it does. Now I won’t ever let myself forget it. Why? Because I couldn’t get a handle on this again for 3 more years after that ‘one drink’. Yes, YEARS! So much more needless suffering for nothing!
I’ve gotta second what @james83 here said, as it’s something that helped me. Yes, I previously admitted being alcoholic, but this time I told everyone. And I mean EVERYONE! I may have gone a bit bananas with it in the beginning, telling complete strangers and such, but every time I said it out loud was another time I heard it for myself, further reiterating it into my mind each time. Like I was still convincing myself it was true, but it worked! That’s why I still come here everyday. To never forget what I am. Find what works for you and never stop doing it 
All the best 
Thanks Dirk,
If anything this recent event has been a lesson more than anything else. I know my life can better when I am sober and not feel judged by others to feel like an outcast.
Hi Just Laura,
Yeah you are right. I think that right now I might not be able to tell everyone right away, but I think by going to meetings I might start to feel more comfortable telling people and when I get some more confidence, I will be able to tell the ones closer to me.
Hi mate, i did myself the weekend and i am still full of regret and anxiety. Glad you’re back and honest.
What ive learnt is not to lie to myself about being able to have one or two drinks. Im at the early stages again but you learn something new every time. Proud of you mate, you’ve got this 
So after about 3 days…I’ve managed to get myself out of bed. Has anyone else experienced this? It’s almost like the only thing I deal with is sleep. Thankfully I’m off work…
I’ve since however managed to get up and leave the house…here’s hoping I start to feel better.
Severe hangover induced tiredness? Yes, absolutely I have experienced that. Your body can only process about 1 unit of alcohol per hour, and gets less than that if you drink a hell of a lot in a short period. It’s detoxing you and purging your organs of a poison, so doesn’t have much energy left for the rest of what you want to do…
One thought for you - every day is precious and we don’t get them back, I try and remember this when I’m tempted to drink. Sometimes it helps.
What @james83 said and also: alcoholic sleep isn’t actually restful, so you are probably living with a substantial sleep deficit that your body and mind are now catching up on.
I have been sober for almost a year and that seems to be my sober time limit.
Its my 3rd time at falling off and drinking around the year mark. Wish i could just get past that mark and continue with my good life. I was brought up to handle things on my own but staying sober is a tough one and its somthing i can’t handle on my own. I’m starting fresh again and with new approaches. Stay strong all and i will do the same
Whenever the thought crosses my mind that I can have a drink or moderate, I remind myself that I don’t see the point in having one or two drinks. I want the whole damn bottle or more.
So I may as well just not have any.
I hope you stick around here, especially as you approach that year mark again. Maybe it’s just out of habit and one you can definitely consciously break.
I would suggest surrounding yourself with more support when that time approaches.
Welcome to the community!
I think there is a lot of support to be found here.
Don’t hesitate to speak up or reach out when you’re having a weak moment. 