@ryreee31 my friend you’re doing what you can now, that’s all that matters. What does your recovery program look like? How long have you been working on your recovery? What can you add?
For what it’s worth I’m even thinking it’s progress you only turned to alk briefely and tried to reverse your decision. You caught yourself and didn’t go into oblivion. That’s a good sign that you know there isn’t a temporary way out from life. Even when we suffer.
Heartbreak is awful. I’ve had a massive amount of it since my recovery started.
It’s been a huge learning experience for me to look at myself, the way I love and trust and what I give and how I see the ppl I give it to. I am doing long term in depth psychotherapy and I have also read a lot on codependency and all that stuff.
Idk man, your story sounds wrong to me. Why would she change the locks if you live 6hrs away and you have always behaved in this respectful manner towards her? As someone else mentioned: if you’re on the lease, I don’t think she is even allowed to do that.
It also isn’t just a “normal development” to go from that much intimacy to what sounds like none.
And if you speak your feelings in a non-aggressive and non-manupulative manner, you are not in any way overstepping or doing wrong! Anyone who makes you feel that way… Maybe think twice.
Maybe, maybe there is more to this story and you need to open your eyes a bit more. This is just a hunch. I held on to someone for a long long time because I loved and trusted completely. And then it turned out there was a lot of stuff wrong and I was deluding myself.
The most important thing is that you work on your recovery. What can you do every day to make sure you stay sober?
Here are some resources: Resources for our recovery
Stay active on here. Talk to us. That alone is a big asset. All the best to you my friend.