I agree with @Misokatsu, maybe it might he helpful to find some support with a meeting of some type. Community can be so healing. There are online ones now if you can’t get to one IRL. 
This link has resources for you…
I agree with @Misokatsu, maybe it might he helpful to find some support with a meeting of some type. Community can be so healing. There are online ones now if you can’t get to one IRL. 
This link has resources for you…