I AM THE WORSE PERSON IN THE WORLD.
I don’t feel like I deserve anyone.
I went 3 days easy without drugs after I told my husband I was using behind his back. I asked him not to tell anyone and help me through this just us 2 then I found out yesterday he told his mum who is really strange with me now, it’s not helping!!!
I then ended up using again yesterday and still in my head.
HELP!!!
I’m sorry about your relapse.
Do you have any drugs left? Trow them out. Can you delete all your dealers numbers on your phone to avoid a new relapse. Quiting is hard, how hard do you want it?
Maybe add some extra help like going to an NA meeting? Maybe online if in real life isn’t possible? You find those here:Resources for our recovery
And about your partner, he needs to vent too. He is in distress about your using. I think he needs some space too if you understand what I mean 
You are not the worse person in the world. There are many like you and I was one as well. I had my share of relapses and you can turn that around by really want this to work and add in all the help you can get 
You can do it!
Yeah I have a bit left. It’s always the same you have some then you want more coz you can’t sleep.
Yeah I know in a few weeks it will be so easy to stop because we live in Cyprus but come home for a few months to tour. Once I’m back in Cyprus it will be easy as it’s not easy like it is here.
Yeah I get he needs to vent but it’s hard as I feel shit enough without his mum being weird with me especially when we live with her.
I think it’s never easy, no matter where you are ore live We are addicts, if we want to use we can get it.
You have to really want to stop using and put in the work and willing to be uncomfortable for a while. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Moving wont stem your need maybe try a meeting they will help
i’ve moved a dozen times all around the USA, every time saying “when i get to Texas I’ll stop drinking….when I get to Georgia I’ll stop drinking…when I get to Iowa….when I get to New York….” guess what? I never stopped until I was finished. it sounds like you’re desperate enough to be finished right now. if that’s the case, use this as fuel to do whatever it takes to stop immediately and never use again. do not delay. lean on your resources here, learn different coping mechanisms to deal with the harsh realities of life that we all have to deal with, and move thru it all, face it all, sober. one day at a time: it will get better. 
First thing first you are not the worst person in the world and you do deserve love, you deserve sobriety, you deserve anything you want in this world. You just have to put in the work to get it. And it sounds like you’ve been trying to put in the work and that’s already a great first step. Relapse happens it’s often apart of our recovery but what matters is that you pick yourself back up, brush your self off and start over with sobriety. I wish you the very best and remember you’re strong and you got this! I believe in you.
Wow thank you for this lovely message!! Yes where I live though it is sooo easy to get it. I’m stopping now so when I move back to Cyprus hopefully I’m off it for a few weeks and feel better 
What good books are there?
When I was not done drinking but was trying to get out of the consequences of drinking, I desperately wanted to keep my recovery and returns to drinking secret, and to split up who in my world knew about it.
It was humiliating and absolutely necessary for me, when I did finally fully surrender to sobriety, to accept that people were going to know. My spouse, my boss, my parents. Even the neighbors, because the police sergeant investigating me for reinstatement of my driver’s license was asking them about my drinking or sobriety.
When I got sober, the people in AA asked me a couple of questions that only I could answer, and they didn’t really care what the answers were - the point was for me to deeply examine my motives. So I’ll ask you.
Are you done yet?
Are you willing to do anything at all to get clean? Even that?