I’ve been relapsing on cocaine once a week during the weekend, but I spoke to my addiction therapist and I have a plan now to stop that relapse from happening.
Every time I relapse, I notice it’s because of one of these two things, either:
I am with my friends, even if they don’t use, simply seeing friends seems to trigger cravings in me after a while. I am not quite sure why, but I’m thinking it’s because I feel social anxiety stress. Cocaine seems to brings me comfort when I’m with my friends and makes me more social-able.
I am at my house but I’m bored and don’t have enough energy/motivation to wanna do something
So my plan is to pretty much stay home during the weekends for at least 2 or 3 months to bring me out of that environment where I feel triggered to use. To keep myself from getting bored being at my house, I need to rediscover my hobbies and force myself to do something to keep myself busy such as playing video games, coding a project, joining a SMART Recovery meeting, or working out.
I’m thinking that after a few months of not using cocaine, I should be able to reintegrate myself with friends who don’t use or codone cocaine use because at that point the cravings should be small enough that I can deal with them even in an environment where I usually can’t really process my thoughts that well since I’m with my friends socializing.
I have confidence that this plan should work, although I’m aware that recovery from a hard drug like cocaine is almost never linear, and I will probably still relapse a bit but the relapses should be less frequent with this plan in place.
What do you think about this plan? Any caveats that you can identify? Thanks
Edit:
I also asked the dealer who is also one of my friends to please never sell to me again, no matter how much I ask for it, to create a barrier around my access to cocaine. He agreed to do that which is good. Obviously barriers alone are not the answer, but I’m thinking this barrier in combination with the plan above should help a lot.
I found that when making changes to one’s habits and behaviour, just changing one thing will not help. You need to change your life significantly. Asking your friend who sells cocaine to not sell you cocaine is not enough. If it was me I would make sure that i cut anyone out of my life who is associated with your addiction.
Being friends with a drug dealer is like me going into a bar to admire the architecture, your brain is wired to encourage you to seek out pleasure and keeping yourself in an environment that your brain associates with the addiction will make it much harder to quit.
You are taking the right steps, but things will likely not improve until you make serious and permanent changes to your life or you may be inadvertently drawn back into your addiction by simple association, even if your mate no longer sells you coke, you’ll find someone else who will.
They say that 3 months (or 90 days) is the hardest when changing a habit, so that may be a good time frame for you to act, but being consistent for the rest of your life is the real challenge, how many weekends will it take before the temptation comes back?
I wish you the best, and sincerly hope your plan works!
I see, thanks for the input. Yeah I’m thinking for now I’ll try this plan, but I see what you’re saying that if I stay friends with the cocaine dealer eventually I may feel tempted. The good news is this cocaine dealer I’m friends with I very rarely see like he’s more of an acquaintance than a close friend, but I definitely won’t see him for at least a few months with this plan in place.
I’m thinking that if being friends with him ends up with me relapsing then at that point I will cut him out for sure. I’d rather not cut him out just yet until it’s confirmed that I for sure need to, as I really hate losing friends. So if it proves to be the case then I definitely will then.
I will also ask my addiction therapist and see what he says about what you’re saying here. If he agrees with you that I shouldn’t wait and see and just cut him out now, then I will just cut him out now.
Edit:
The reason why I’m a bit hesitant to cut him out is: he agreed to not sell to me and decided to start supporting me on my sobriety as he also used to struggle with hard drugs. So I don’t think he will ever really end up selling to me now that I told him this stuff. He may be a good ally to my sobriety.
Dont really have any advice but im dealing with the same doc as well as alcohol and weed. Last year stopped for 6m. Wish I would have kept going. As far as being friends with the dealer ive heard people who quit 20 plus years ago say that just drivng in the same area as where there old plug was gives them a craving. Ive never gone to a smart meeting but did watch a good video about it that might help. I thought it had a lot of good things in it
So I used to attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings, but I found I liked SMART Recovery more because it felt more practical to me. Although, I am not opposed to recommitting to Narcotics Anonymous. Would you say that I should recommit to NA?
Personally I tried na and didn’t really like it. Went once a week for like 3 months and it was not for me. I dont like the idea of religion or spirituality and it felt like a cult. I guess what works for everyone is different as we all have different brain chemistries. You just got to find wat works for you. Been thinking about trying the smart online meetings as there are no in person ones near me. Idk i like the idea of it being science based instead of spiritual based as i tend to learn more towards science than religion and spirituality.
Has your therapist not recommended some meetings or anything for you? A weekly cocaine habit seems that it would require some concentrated effort to kick.
I’m somewhat surprised that you aren’t already set up for some tbh.
I was a daily cocaine user and had many half assed attempts at quitting. I’d go months even up to a year without it but always found my way back because I tried to do it on my own and kept doors open like trying to remain friends with dealers. They’re not our friends, they’re in business to make money period. I had to block all numbers to have a chance at a better life. I also had to surrender and ask for help and I found that help an intensive outpatient program.
That’s another door that needs closing. If you think you’re going to relapse, you will. Change your mindset.
Hey everyone, I ended up cutting out a few toxic friends and also that one coke dealer guy Im looking forward to the future and saving money! I’m hoping that last time I used as described in my post was THE last time. That drug truly brought me to my knees a couple years ago; I was a daily user as well going through 1.5g to 3.5g every day at some point. I truly thought that drug would kill me one day. But I think now that I cut out my main group of friends who turned out to be very toxic and I’m now only really hanging around friends who don’t do hard drugs, I think the future will be good and I’ll be happy again.
I think you made a great choice by cutting everyone out ur toxic friends including ur dealer. My DOC was crack cocaine and i was “friends” with my old dealer also. I did the same thing that you did initally by asking him to not ever sell to me again. But down the road id get texts from him asking if i needed anything. I blocked and deleted the number at that point. In that lifestyle its all about making money unfortunately. Glad ur on this path of recovery. You definitly wont regret it! Ur health and wellbeing and finances with thank you
Coke i did sometimes, when i didn’t have meth mostly haha
How I achieved that and stopping other addictions (weed, alcohol and cigarettes) was completely removing myself from anyone and anything who reminded me of crystal meth (dealers too) and after that, those who did not passionately encourage me on sobriety journey, which was for me synonymous to a fitness journey.
Either way, I may not have people to go out with at 20 but I am also not settling for stuff anymore, and for that I am proud.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have done stuff from this past life sober like parties and concerts and still do but all I am trying to say is that you have to create a new life where cocaine is not needed for energy because you like your life and you get that energy from eating well, exercising, having hobbies and meaningful connections etc. You get my point.
Believe me I am not there yet either but I also know I do not wish to do drugs and that means a lot for an addict
